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Scott Hixson

My heroes are predominately literary figures. Some are authors. All are dead.
I like to collect antiquated things. My prized possessions in this world are two typewriters and neither one of them has ink. You could say I like useless things, and you’d be right. Between my typewriters, vinyl, library of yellowing pages and English major I am, in essence, utterly useless.

In a past life, I was a drop of ink on page 57 of Agatha Christie’s “And Then There Were None.” I then became a sandy rock and I have not moved since.

I often like chain-smoking because I find I would rather worry about killing time than killing myself slowly.

I pretend my freckles are constellations. I’ve yet to find any discernible shapes.
My teeth are too big for my head.

I’m just like everybody else, but stretched out. This has led many to feel like they can criticize, as if skinny people are less conscious about their weight than obese people. I’ve had nicknames ranging from the relatively tame “Tree” to the more absurd, and frankly offensive, “Ethiopian dynamite.”

I got a brain tattooed on my chest to remind me to think more. It didn’t work.
I’ve noticed since I reached manhood that elderly men hit on me more than any other demographic. I can’t quite figure out why.

I like ghost stories though I don’t believe in the existence of ghosts.

I stole yard gnomes from a neighbor’s garden when I was much younger. I thought I was part of something coined the National Gnome Liberation Front. I’m pretty sure the statute is up for that so I have no qualms. Also, they were mean neighbors.

I consider the smell of old books an aphrodisiac, I think it’s the sign of a serious mental condition.

I think MDMA is a cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream, cinnamon sugar and an Oreo on top on a rainy day.

Whisox!

Alexa Vega shows off stunning curves in Twitter photo

The 23-year-old Colombian beauty will star as KillJoy in Robert Rodriguez’s “Machete Kills”

Alexa Vega will star as the character KillJoy in the 2013 release of Robert Rodriguez’s Machete Kills and has provided Twitter-goers with a special sneak peek of her grown-up figure as she posed for a photo wearing dark make-up, bold jewelry and a stunning bra.

Alexa Vega, 23, best known for her roles in the Spy Kids franchise at an early age, will star in the sequel to Robert Rodriguez’s Machete, Machete Kills, as the character KillJoy. The Machete trilogy began as a fake trailer Rodriguez made for the 2007 Quentin Tarantino film Grindhouse.

Alexa Vega will star in Machete Kills alongside Sofia Vergara, Danny Trejo, Amber Heard, Michelle Rodriguez, Demian Bichir and Jessica Alba. In the film, Vega’s character works for Madame Desdemona, played by Modern Family star and fellow Colombian Sofia Vergara.

“RR gave the OK for a sneak peek,” Alexa Vega posted on Twitter along with the photo.

The photo depicts Alexa Vega in black and white as she dons a metal bra and heavy, dark make-up around the eyes.

The Colombian star recently made headlines following news of her divorce from 36-year-old Sean Covel being made public after just a year and a half of marriage, according to TMZ.

“My relationship with Sean was deeply important and formative for both of us,” Alexa Vega posted on Twitter. “It simply evolved out of a marriage and into a friendship.”

The sneak peek photo of Alexa Vega as KillJoy can be found here.

Scott Disick is royally creepy, alleges former friend

The reality-TV star denies allegations that he robbed women after one-night-stands as a teenager

Scott Disick is the subject of allegations regarding rather strange criminal behavior as a teen. Disick, who recently had his second child with Kourtney Kardashian, is alleged to have had a habit of having one-night stands with women in the Hamptons, filming his sexual escapades and stealing from the women, according to RadarOnline.

“It’s true that Scott began videotaping himself having sex with girls when he was in his late teens, and then he’d steal from them!” said Brittany Reichek, a model and former friend of Scott Disick.

According to Reichek, Scott and his friend pulled off the sex scam at least 50 times during the time she knew him while never getting caught.

“Scott and one of his buddies had a system,” Reichek said. “They would pass themselves off as wealthy stockbrokers, pick up girls in the clubs in the Hamptons, get drunk with them, then take them back to their parents’ homes and claim the houses were their own.”

“When the time was right, Scott and his friend would go through their handbags and steal just about anything they could get their hands on,” including electronics, cash and credit cards, Reichek claimed.

“I think Scott got as good a high just from the actual things he stole,” Reichek said of the scam.

Scott Disick denied the allegations through a representative.

On an unrelated note, Scott Disick recently became royalty. Disick purchased the title “Lord” over the Internet and was recognized in an official knighting ceremony on a recent trip to London.

“Whether it’s Sir Disick, Lord Disick, Count Disick — becoming royal is going to get me the respect I deserve,” Scott Disick said prior to the ceremony. “I don’t have to be walking around like some peasant. I’m royalty!”

Rob Kardashian didn’t seem impressed with Disick’s newfound status. “I can’t take Scott seriously – I can’t take this whole thing seriously,” Rob said of the knighting ceremony. “It’s kind of weird.”

Weird is right.

Buckyballs the target of Consumer Product Safety Commission legal suit

There have been two dozen incidents of children swallowing the powerful magnets, some even requiring surgery

Buckyballs, the popular magnet, pose a grave danger to children, according to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, who filed suit Wednesday to stop the company that distributes the product from doing so, a legal tactic the agency has used only once prior in the past decade.

Buckyballs, distributed by the New York-based Maxfield & Oberton, pose a grave danger to children if swallowed, alleges the CPSC, who says it filed the administrative complaint only after Maxfield & Oberton refused a voluntary recall of the BB-sized magnets.

The powerful magnets are sold in sets of 216 and are advertised as toys for adults; however, the CPSC has cited numerous incidences of children younger than 14 swallowing the magnets.

The CPSC has said it knows of more than two dozen incidences of magnet ingestion since 2009, of these, at least a dozen have involved Buckyballs and some even required surgery to remove the magnets, including the case of a 4-year-old boy who swallowed three Buckyballs believing they were chocolate candy.

When two or more of the magnets are swallowed, they can attract one another so powerfully that they can rip holes in the stomach and intestines or cause other serious injuries, including blood poisoning and death.

More than two million Buckyball sets and 200,000 Buckycubes have been sold in the U.S. since 2009 and 2011, respectively.

“Notwithstanding the labeling, warnings and efforts taken by (Maxfield & Oberton), ingestion incidents continued to rise because warnings are ineffective,” according to the CPSC, who added the magnets represent a “substantial product hazard.”

Maxfield & Oberton shot back with a statement of its own on Wednesday: “Thank you for trying to drive a $50 million New York-based consumer product company out of business.”

The company’s chief executive, Craig Zucker, called the CPSC’s legal suit “intimidation tactics” and said it is unreasonable for the agency to ban the product based on two dozen cases of misuse when there are more than half a billion magnets on the market.

“The bureaucrats see danger everywhere, and those responsible people – like our company who have vigorously promoted safety and appropriate use of our products – gets put out of business by an unfair and arbitrary process,” Zucker’s statement read.

Zucker’s statement continued, “We will vigorously fight this action taken by President Obama’s handpicked agency.”

According to CPSC spokesman Scott Wolfson, some major retailers, including Amazon, Brookstone and Urban Outfitters, have agreed to stop selling Buckyballs and similar products based on the safety risks posed to children.

Eddie Griffin fallout continues

The comedian is undecided about pursuing legal action against TMZ

 

Eddie Griffin may find himself in hot water after allegedly pouring a bottle of water on a woman and throwing the empty bottle at her at a comedy show last week.

Fiona Walshe – a lesbian – has told TMZ that she and her partner, Leslie, were among the audience members at Eddie Griffin’s comedy performance at Tommy T’s Comedy Club in Pleasanton, CA last week. According to Walshe, Eddie Griffin singled the couple out because of their sexual orientation.

Walshe claims Eddie Griffin pointed to her and said, “You’re a LESBIAN. All you need is a good man . . . I’ll volunteer my services. You won’t be needing any strap-on’s or vibrators with me.”

“He started to pump his hips into my face,” Walshe stated. “I felt sexually assaulted and I wanted him to stop – then I threw the drink at him to defend myself.”

“He jumped off the stage and onto my table. He started grabbing everything and throwing it at me,” including a salt and pepper shaker, Walshe said. She continued, “Before I could get away from him he poured a water bottle on my head and threw it at me.”

According to TMZ, Walshe’s lawyer has said, “We’re seeking an apology from Eddie Griffin and compensation for the public humiliation and emotional distress. There will be a lawsuit if he doesn’t make amends.”

Eddie Griffin has fired back with threats of his own lawsuit, not against the women he allegedly humiliated, but instead against TMZ, who he believes wrongfully characterized his behavior in their original reporting of the incident.

Eddie Griffin wrote on his Facebook wall:

“These TMZ bitches said I assaulted a “WOMAN” at my show in cali. I don’t know what kind of eyes these mutha fuckas got but that dyke bitch threw a glass of whatever she was drinkin’ in my face. All over a joke about dyke bitches! Now TMZ be careful with your choice of words, I didn’t ASSAULT a goddamn thing! if I had a nigga would be locked the fucked up. As usual, media doing sensationalism instead of journalism. Ya’ll better retract your story before i sue ya’ll bitch asses for defirmation of character!…or…rather what you really do…character assassination!!! You parasitic mutha Fuckas!!!..TMZ these nuts bitch!!!”

Ann Flagella, the president of Eddie Griffin’s production company, told the Huffington Post that Eddie Griffin is pursuing legal action against TMZ. She released this statement, which her company also sent to TMZ on Monday:

“Eddie never assaulted a woman, nor is he homophobic. Your statements are false. He was telling a joke. He was doing his job and making the audience laugh and going a great job at it. Eddie has never and will never sensor his act. ALL races, religions, genders and stereotypes are considered EQUAL on stage and are all open for material. Eddie’s famous quote is “F*ck –em if they can’t take a joke. They shouldn’t come to a comedy show.

If you sit front row at a comedy show, it is widely known that chances are, you might have a good chance of becoming part of the act.

[…]

When you interrupt a comedian-whether you believe you are right or not, you must be able to handle what they retaliate with! Sometimes it may be offensive.

And as far as heckling is concerned-consider it a professional sporting event. If I don’t like how the team is playing and I think I can do better, do I just jump down on the field and take the ball? NO because I will get arrested. Thrown out of the stadium and fines imposed.

Comedy is or maybe WAS the last bastion of freedom of speech. Who will stand up for the standups?”

As it turns out, it was not TMZ that used the headline Eddie Griffin Assaults Woman At Stand- Up Show. Flagella acknowledged this confusion, but remarked, “He is, however, still upset that TMZ is calling him homophobic when (in his opinion) he said the word ‘dyke’ as slang, not derogatory.”

Eddie Griffin then posted an update to his Facebook page, stating, “To everyone who said I didn’t read the article, this is what was sent to me… I got this and saw ‘TMZ’ and was mad as hell.”

Flagella has not yet indicated whether Eddie Griffin will proceed with the lawsuit.

Fred Willard calls X-rated film he was arrested during "lousy"

The 72-year-old actor was arrested at the Tiki Theater in Hollywood for suspected lewd conduct

 

Fred Willard, the 72-year-old actor who appeared in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy and Wall-E, can avoid a criminal trial relating to his arrest last week for allegedly engaging in a lewd act at an adult movie theater if he completes a diversion program.

Fred Willard was arrested July 18 at the Tiki Theater in Hollywood after allegedly committing a lewd act while viewing an X-rated film. Willard isn’t shying away from the attention his arrest garnered instead he is offering his critique of the movie.

“Wait til u hear my version; much more PG,” Fred Willard tweeted Monday. “& my review, lousy film, but theater would make a terrific racquetball court.”

At the time of the actor’s arrest, three X-rated films were playing on a continuous loop, including a parody of the Client List and Follow Me 2.

The attorney representing Fred Willard has insisted his client did nothing wrong.

“With all due respect to the individual officer, our belief (is) that Fred did nothing in any violation of any law. We will be working vigorously to clear his name in this matter,” said Paul Takakjian in a statement to the Los Angeles Times.

Fred Willard can avoid a criminal trial if he chooses to complete a diversion program. According to the Los Angeles Times, the diversion program is administered by an outside vendor and costs approximately $380.

“I want to stress this was and is a fileable case, and should the defendant choose not to enroll or not complete the program, we have the option of filing criminal charges within a year,” said Frank Mateljan, spokesman for City Atty. Carmen Trutanich.

“Should he complete the course, we will consider the matter closed,” Mateljan added.

According to city prosecutors, Fred Willard had a previous arrest for lewd conduct dating back to 1990.

The 72-year-old actor was arrested by uniformed vice officers with the Los Angeles Police Department at the Tiki Theater on Santa Monica Boulevard. According to the theater manager, Kazi Jafor, officers have inspected the theater 40 times since November and have made 23 arrests.

Fred Willard was fired by PBS last week from his position as narrator of the new series Market Warriors. PBS noted the case would be a distraction. 

Minka Kelly reportedly the star of her own sex-tape

According to TMZ, the actress filmed the 30-minute tape back in 1998

 

Minka Kelly, possibly best known for her role as Derek Jeter’s former girlfriend, is the latest in a string of celebrities to have their private sex-lives made public, willingly, of course, according to TMZ.

Minka Kelly, who starred in the revamp of Charlie’s Angels and also appeared in Friday Night Lights, shot a semi-professional sex-tape with her ex-boyfriend. But before you get all hot-and-bothered there’s one thing you should know. According to TMZ, there is the distinct possibility that Minka Kelly was underage when the sex-tape was filmed, making it child pornography.

Despite this, TMZ reports that the video is being shopped to the highest bidder.

The tape is 30-minutes long and was filmed in New Mexico, according to TMZ, who also reports that the camera used to film was “secured by a tripod and hooked up to a TV monitor, so both Minka and the BF can watch the action they create. Minka is very aware of the camera.”

According to the TMZ report, two songs from Brandy’s second album, Never Say Never, can be heard playing in the background of the video. The album was released approximately two weeks before Minka’s 18th birthday in 1998; though it is not clear whether this is definitive evidence of her age during the filming.

There has yet been no comment from Minka Kelly or her representative.

The actress, now 32, split with New York Yankee Derek Jeter in 2011 after three years together. She will next appear opposite James Marsden, Forest Whitaker, Oprah Whinfrey, and Vanessa Redgrave as former First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy in a biographical film.

Drew Peterson murder trial scheduled to begin this week

The former Bolingbrook, Ill. police sergeant is accused of murdering his third wife, Kathleen Savio, in 2004

Drew Peterson, the former sergeant in the Bolingbrook, Ill. police department who has been jailed for the past three years for allegedly murdering his third wife, Kathleen Salvio, got the chance to meet his would-be jurors Monday as his long-delayed murder trial is scheduled to begin this week.

Drew Peterson, who is accused of murdering his third wife, has become something of a celebrity over the years with his outlandish and often inappropriate behavior towards the media and the case in general. Rob Lowe even starred as Peterson in a made-for-TV movie that aired in April titled, “Drew Peterson: Untouchable.”

The attorney for Drew Peterson, Joel Brodsky, may echo the Lifetime original movie’s title as he believes the case against his client will be thrown out by the judge.

“We have always said, and this has never changed: They simply don’t have any evidence. They have conjecture, rumor, speculation, hearsay, but they don’t have any evidence. Even a predispositioned jury is going to want to hear evidence, and they don’t have any,” Brodsky told ABC News.

Drew Peterson has sat in jail for three years as his murder trial has been delayed by appellate court decisions debating the use of hearsay evidence in the case. At a 2010 hearing to determine the validity of hearsay evidence in the case, dozens of witnesses testified that Kathleen Savio feared Drew Peterson would kill her and stage her death as an accident.

The remains of Kathleen Savio were found in 2003 in a dry bathtub in her suburban Chicago home, her hair was stained with blood. Salvio’s death was originally declared an accident but following the disappearance of Drew Peterson’s fourth wife, Stacy Peterson, in 2007, investigators prompted the body of Salvio to be exhumed. The finding that Salvio died as the result of an accident was then changed to murder.

Peterson’s attorney insists prosecutors have no case.

“First, they are not going to be able to say that (the death investigation was botched) because it wasn’t,” said Brodsky. “By saying that if they had done a better job in the investigation, then they would have been able to prosecute Drew Peterson, that lowers the burden of proof. Where you don’t have evidence, you presume innocence.”

“I don’t know why they are prosecuting this. I am serious. This case should never have been brought,” Brodsky continued. “If they can prosecute Drew Peterson on this garbage, rumor, back fence gossip, then nobody’s safe.”

Peterson’s murder trial will likely include statements made by both Kathleen Salvio and Stacy Peterson regarding threatening statements made towards them by Drew Peterson, including testimony from Stacy Peterson that she saw Drew Peterson arrive home around the time of Savio’s death with women’s clothing.

“That doesn’t concern us,” Brodsky said of the hearsay testimony. “Anybody that knows anybody that has been through a divorce knows that people say things and do things that is totally out of character, and clearly Kathy was trying to build a case to try and get as much money as she could.”

Drew Peterson, 58, appeared in court Monday to meet prospective jurors in the case. He appeared without his trademark mustache and spoke to some 40 potential jurors as selection began.

“Good morning ladies and gentlemen, I’m Mr. Peterson,” he said.

Despite the frenzy that has followed this case since Drew Peterson’s arrest in 2009, the 50-seat courtroom had few members of the public within. Among them, was Stacy Peterson’s sister, Cassandra Cales, who said she was relieved that the trial appears to be on schedule.

“It feels good to actually see something being done,” stated Cales. “The past few years have been an emotional roller coaster. I just want it to move on so he can be convicted.”

Sally Ride inspired countless young women during her history-making life

The first U.S. woman in space passed away Monday of pancreatic cancer at the age of 61

 

Sally Ride, who made history in 1983 by becoming the first U.S. woman to venture into space, passed away Monday of pancreatic cancer. Ride was 61.

Sally Ride is remembered for her historic mission aboard the space shuttle Challenger, but she is also remembered for all she did to promote gender equality in the sciences.

An intensely private woman who never felt comfortable with her celebrity status, Sally Ride proved women could equal man’s accomplishments in space.

Sally Ride looked to inspire girls and young women to venture into careers in the sciences and math. Her San Diego-based education company, Sally Ride Science, promotes scientific careers for young women and has inspired countless females to strive for careers once believed reserved for men.

One of the young women inspired by Sally Ride’s historic 1983 mission was astronaut Eileen Collins. Collins became the first female shuttle pilot and, subsequently, commander in the 1990s.

Collins was stunned to learn of Sally Ride’s tragic passing. “Sally left us too soon,” Collins said in a statement from NASA. “God Speed Sally, you will be greatly missed.”

Sally Ride, a physicist, never became fully comfortable with her celebrity status. Her astronaut ex-husband, Steve Hawley, said Monday that Sally Ride found herself “a very public persona,” and “it was a role in which she was never fully comfortable.”

“While she never enjoyed being a celebrity, she recognized that it gave her the opportunity to encourage children, particularly young girls, to reach their full potential,” Hawley continued.

Sally Ride overcame tremendous sexism before her historic space flight. At one point before the mission, she was once asked if she would wear a bra in space. “There is no sag in zero-g,” Ride responded.

Ride once complained, “It’s too bad this society isn’t further along and this is still such a big deal.”

Sally Ride flew just twice to space, aboard Challenger both times. She was prevented from a third trip with the space shuttle Challenger tragedy just three years after her historic flight.

In 2003, Sally Ride gave an interview to The Associated Press in which she said, “It was a huge honor. On the other hand, it sure did complicate things. I’m the sort of person who likes to be able to just walk into the supermarket and not be recognized. I can do that most of the time now.”

“A lot of people recognize the name. Very few recognize my face. That’s very good,” she added, laughing. “That is very good.”

A statement found on the Sally Ride Science website reads:

“Sally lived her life to the fullest, with boundless energy, curiosity, intelligence, passion, commitment and love. Her integrity was absolute; her spirit was immeasurable; her approach to life was fearless.”

Gordon Ramsay named highest earning chef in America by Forbes with $38 million

Rachael Ray, Wolfgang Puck, Paula Deen and Mario Batali round out the top five

Gordon Ramsay has been named the highest earning chef in the United States, according to Forbes.

Gordon Ramsay is the star of the immensely popular television programs Hell’s Kitchen, Master Chef, Hotel Hell and Kitchen Nightmares. In addition to revenue from these entertaining programs, Gordon Ramsay has earned 11 Michelin stars, an award for first-class quality cuisine, opened numerous restaurants and released countless cookbooks. Forbes estimates the chef’s global income at $38 million, a cool $13 million above the second place, Rachael Ray.

Gordon Ramsay has more than two dozen restaurants across the globe – from Tokyo to Australia to Qatar – whose focus is on everything from casual to contemporary to classic cuisine.

According to Forbes, “while Ramsay’s TV persona celebrates his hellacious side, his first rate restaurant operations, with an enormous focus on the customer experience and quality of the food itself, is close to heaven.”

The year ending June 2012 marks the first time Gordon Ramsay has topped the list of highest earning chefs in the United States. Rachael Ray came in second on the list with $25 million, due in large part to her daytime television program, a popular magazine and several best-selling cookbooks.

Wolfgang Puck ranks No. 3, according to Forbes, with $20 million earned from his 20 restaurants and various businesses.

Paula Deen brought in $17 million during the same period, ranking her No. 4, just above Mario Batali, who rounds out the top give with $13 million.

“They are very diversified,” said Dorothy Pomerantz of Forbes.com referring to the top-grossing chefs in America. “There is nobody who just has restaurants. TV is a huge factor in making this list because they make so much more money from television than they can from their restaurants.”

Bulgaria the site of deadly suicide bombing – 7 killed

Five Israelis, the Bulgarian bus driver and the yet unidentified suicide bomber were killed in the explosion

Bulgaria was the scene of a grizzly suicide bombing that claimed the lives of seven individuals, including five Israelis, and injured numerous others, including 33 Israeli nationals.

The bombing occurred in the Black Sea resort town of Burgas, about 400 kilometers (250 miles) east of the Bulgarian capital, Sofia.

Bulgarian television aired surveillance footage Thursday depicting the suspected bomber as he meandered in and out of the Sarafovo airport terminal. The suspected bomber appeared to be Caucasian and had long, lanky hair (possibly a wig) under a baseball cap. He wore plaid shorts and a T-shirt and appeared as if a tourist himself. The suspected bomber carried two large bags, one slung over his shoulder and the other, a large suitcase with wheels, on his back. According to Bulgarian officials, the suspected bomber carried a fake Michigan driver’s license that read Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

The bombing occurred as a number of Israeli tourists were boarding a bus to take them to their hotel. The Israelis had arrived in Burgas on a charter flight from Tel Aviv carrying 154 people, including eight children.

The seven killed in the bombing include five Israelis, the Bulgarian bus driver and the suicide bomber.

On Thursday, the Israeli Interior Ministry released the identities of the five murdered Israelis: Itzik Colangi, 28, Amir Menashe, 28, Elior Price, 26, Maor Harosh, 25, and Kochava Shriki, 44.

No group has yet claimed responsibility for the bombing, yet Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu cast blame on Iranian-backed Hezzbollah, a Lebanese Shiite Muslim guerilla group, according to the Associated Press.

Netanyahu spoke Thursday from his office in Jerusalem, saying Iran and Hezbollah “attack and murder innocent citizens, families, young ones, children, people who went for an innocent vacation and whose sin is to be Israeli and Jewsish.”

The Israeli Prime Minister added that it is time for the world to accept that “Iran is behind the wave of terror” and is the most “dangerous country in the world.”

“A terror state cannot have a nuclear weapon,” Netanyahu continued. “The most dangerous country in the world cannot have the most dangerous weapons on earth.”

Israeli Defense Minister Ehud Barak described Hezbollah as the “director executors” of the suicide attack and swore that Israel “will do all it can to find those responsible and punish them, both those who carried it out directly and those who dispatched them.”

Iranian state TV has since called Israel’s allegations “ridiculous” and “sensational.”