Shia LaBeouf: NSA genius

Cries wolf, but mostly just cries

WRITTEN BY: Michael DeLaney
Image Source: zonalpony via Flickr

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: always listen to Shia LaBeouf when it comes to matters of national security. The 26-year-old, who was arguably more implausible in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull than the aliens were, probably feels like a regular boy who cried wolf.

Shia LaBeouf was on a press tour for his film Eagle Eye in 2008 when he appeared on The Tonight Show (remember The Tonight Show? It was the show that Jay Leno hosted before hosting The Jay Leno Show, which preceded him hosting another show coincidentally called The Tonight Show.)

During the interview the squirrelly Shia LaBeouf discussed with Leno trade secrets that an FBI consultant had told him in preparation for Eagle Eye.

“I remember talking to an FBI consultant telling me that they can use your ADT box to get the stuff going on in your house. Or that they can use OnStar to shut your car down,” Shia LaBeouf said.

(Remember OnStar? It was pretty much the only Batman movie around until 2005.)  

At the time viewers probably thought that Shia LaBeouf’s already soft mind had been further mushed by spending too much time with the robots in disguise from Transformers.

But it would seem that Shia LaBeouf AKA Louis Stevens was onto something. Since news of the NSA surveillance program PRISM was leaked by Eric Snowden however, Americans have decided to exhume the old Shia LaBeouf interview and take another look at it.

Despite his apparent precognitive abilities, its doubtful Shia LaBeouf will be taken anymore seriously because of this little nugget of knowledge from the past. The fourth Transformers movie (which has decided to forego the obviously brilliant title of “Trans4mers”) is Shia LaBeouf-less, because he is “done making blockbusters.”

So unless he foresees a future in soothsaying, we’ll probably just see him in more weird ballet music videos where he’s semi-nude.

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