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Lingerie: More than just lust and lace?

College News asks if skimpy outfits automatically translate to great sex

Victoria’s Secret “Angels” strutted the runway earlier this month in the company’s annual televised fashion show, which allows the models to show off the newest lingerie lines. The show drew in 8.3 million viewers—all of whom are no doubt interested in lingerie or, more likely, the women wearing it. 

Each Angel stormed the runway for just as long as the average person might keep the lingerie on in the bedroom: about two minutes. With lingerie having so little practical use in the average person’s life, does all that lace go to waste? Or are the results more than just about getting physical?

Lingerie is made to mold the female body into a desired form or to accent an hour-glass silhouette. With so many options, women can accentuate their breasts with a push-up bra while hiding their hips with a short skirt, or suck in their stomach with a laced-up corset and show off their toned legs in knee-highs and garters. And that’s only the tame stuff.

With woman strapped, pushed and sucked in, lingerie can be quite complicated. Just like the fashion show, lingerie seems to be made to gawk at and nothing else.

While the 30 eyelet corset looks really hot, the idea of ripping it off in a hurry and attempting to untangle it from the come-hither clothing could get kinkier than ever anticipated. 

So what does spending an hour or more tucking yourself into the outfit, fixing your hair and make-up, and practicing those seductive poses and phrases add up to in the end?

“I am not the biggest fan of how uncomfortable [lingerie] is, or how expensive it is for the minimal use you get out of it,” said student Sagan Myers, a sentiment seconded by another student Alyssa Newcomb who said, “It stays on for such little time, it’s really not worth it.”

Worth—an interesting word to apply to the lingerie dilemma. While on the body, lingerie is only appreciated for two minutes (give or take). Then, in a moment’s notice, the $65 you spent is lying on the floor in a crumble. And yet, the results of dressing up just to take it off linger much longer than just a mere moment of passion.

“[Lingerie] makes for good foreplay and gives you confidence. I believe every girl should have at least some lingerie!” said lingerie lover and student, Liv Burke.

In other words, the motto “Dress for Success” applies more places than just a job interview. Lingerie, like the work “power suit,” can be just as influential in a sex-situation.

Confidence, as Burke mentioned, may be the number one problem for many women in the bedroom and a hang-up for exploring more of her sexual desires and needs. Through envisioning her body positively, achieving these desires will be beneficial for both partners.

Empowerment through sexual attire, including lingerie, is a dilemma third-wave feminists have long attacked. However, as writer Kate Taylor explains in the article “Today’s Ultimate Feminists are the Chicks in Crop Tops” for The Guardian, women use lingerie and sexy clothes to feel better about their body.

These women should not be chastised anymore than women who spend time in a gym to get those Michelle Obama arms. Confidence is confidence, no matter how it is packaged.

Do skimpy lace and six-inch heels make the physical experience of sex better? Maybe, maybe not. But the image your partner has of you when they come home after a long day of classes or work might not slip their mind anytime soon…nor will you forget the look on their face when they walk through the door.

How to respectfully tell a professor that they might be wrong

Just how do you tell a professor they calculated your grade wrong, or that you actually did attend that one class?

Professors and students alike are currently in the throes of the long-awaited and dreaded finals season. With hundreds of term papers and final projects to grade, a professor is bound to overlook something or miscalculate a grade. So how do you approach this issue without disrespecting your superior?

First, approach the teacher at an appropriate time. Asking your ethics professor why s/he low-balled you on your paper in front of the entire classroom is probably not the best time to raise the issue.

Instead, try catching them after class if they don’t immediately have another engagement. Most schools offer their professors some sort of work-space or office, so ask him if you can speak in private regarding a grade. Do NOT email a professor in this situation. Emails can be interpreted differently from person to person, and while your tone may seem passive to you, it could instead come across as aggressive and demanding.

Speaking with your professor in person also gives you a chance to assess their body language. Are they walking away as if to end the conversation quickly? Try a different approach or ask if you should come back at a later time. It is best to have their undivided attention so the situation can be remedied quickly and you can both go about your days.

Let’s say your professor recognizes his mistake and revises your grade then and there. Perfect, mission accomplished! Be sure to show your gratitude. A simple thank you goes a long way. After all, they deal with ungrateful college kids all day long.

On the other hand, say you have a stubborn professor that stands by their (or their TAs) grading and refuses to change the grade. Accept the fact that your grade for that particular paper or project isn’t budging and ask for an extra credit opportunity. Asking for more work shows that you are dedicated to raising your grade no matter what it takes, and, in the end, professors take note of hard workers.

These approaches can be put to use when disputing an attendance record, or for that one time you were tardy because your roommate decided on an extra-long shower that morning, and even outside of the classroom too. Keep in mind that, in the end, it is just a grade in the big scheme of things. You can always raise your G.P.A. next semester.

But what about after college? How do you tactfully approach a supervisor or boss about something they have done incorrectly?

Whether your post graduation plans involve a small start-up company or a large corporation, you will have a superior in the workplace. In the event of being blamed for something a co-worker messed up, or noticing a pay-cut on your check that you were unaware of, it’s important to approach the situation delicately.

Your boss is busy with the books, phone calls and managing an entire office. So why should they listen to your problem? Because they hired you! Remember that interview you went in for and totally dominated? Yeah, they do as well. So stay confident, and don’t let your boss intimidate you.

In the end, it’s all about standing up for yourself and all the hard work you put in to the class or the work that you do. After all, if you don’t stand up for yourself, who will?

Artist and domestic violence victim advocate Michelle Major

One woman’s encounter with domestic violence

I am pretty sure artist Michelle Major wears a cape and flies through the air, paintbrushes in hand. As with all superheroes, something tremendously traumatic transformed her. In August of 2008, her abusive husband tried to choke her to death. Before that, he took a butcher knife and slashed nearly a hundred pieces of her stunning artwork just to really cut her where she would bleed.

The irony is that, while he tried to weaken and silence her, she ultimately emerged stronger and louder than ever. Her voice rings out clearly now and calls to others as she displays her powerful butchered artwork through her traveling exhibit, Portrait of Violence.

For some, looking at the slashed canvasses from that night might sting. But not for Major. Major told College News that, “For me, it is not painful to look at them anymore, although it has only been fourteen months since the attack. The slashed pieces have taken on a strength and character of their own. It’s kind of like how I had to approach looking at my own life. I do not look at the paintings through the eyes of loss, wishing it had never happened, or being filled with ‘what ifs.’ Those feelings would have kept me victimized. I could not continue to look in the rear view mirror, but face forward.”

Her slashed artwork is strikingly powerful, but so is the artwork she created after the attack.

“Initially after the attack, I did not want to paint again. It was too painful to think of what happened to all my artwork. I even questioned my artistic abilities. But eventually I picked up the paintbrush and I began to paint some pretty horrific images.”

The first painting she created, through tears, is called Terror: He Wore a Yellow T-shirt and depicts the face she saw as she slipped out of consciousness during her attack.

Major didn’t stop there. “The more I painted, the stronger I became. I became more positive and less afraid. I began to accept the situation that had become my life and I was determined to move forward. I finally recognized that through my artwork, I was getting the ugliness, rage, fear, pain, and bitterness onto the canvas…Facing pain, hurt, and devastation is painful, but walking through the fire to the other side is the shortest route to wholeness.”

Major now empowers others through her organization, BAVA: Be A Voice Arts, in order to provide healing through artistic expression, as she did herself. “Turning my life experiences into art has been the key to my healing.”

She has received many thanks from women who have found inspiration through her story, art, and teaching. “You can leave even if it seems impossible and you are gripped by fear. My story provides proof that life on the other side of abuse not only exists, it is liberating, freeing, and full of opportunity, hope and promise.”

Major’s abuser was released after less than a month in jail. However, he violated probation and was sent back, and is now waiting a new sentence. Major points out the alarming fact that he has been jailed for more than seventy days for violating probation, yet was incarcerated a mere twenty-eight for trying to murder his wife and the mother of his child.

At first, when he was released on bond, Major was terrified. He had threatened to kill her and kidnap their newborn. Major feared for her life, went out in disguise, and fell asleep only when exhausted. However, she came to realize that by hiding, he was still in control of her life, and she would no longer put up with it.

While she felt justifiably vulnerable and driven to hide herself and her child from her assailant, in an incredibly brave act, Major did just the opposites and went very public with her abuse, transforming her from victim into superhero. How did she do it?  “I asked God ‘How do I learn to live, instead of simply exist in a life filled with fear?’ My answer was to shine a light on what happened to me by sharing my art and my story, and in the process, I would light the way for others as well as keep myself safe. Darkness cannot enter the light. My abuser and all the fear that surrounded him represented the darkness.”

Light is right! Major continues, “My abuser tried to silence both my artistic and my literal voices. It became evident to me that the more I used each of these, the stronger I became…I was required to speak to judges, lawyers and police officials in the legal system as I fought to have my attacker appropriately sentenced. During that process, I became all he said I was not…more importantly, I will be able to share my story of strength and courage with my fifteen-month-old daughter. I can rest in the knowledge that regardless what domestic violence advocacy may bring into my life, I broke a cycle of abuse that she will never have to experience. She will never have to see her mother hurt or eventually be hurt herself. She will never have to experience fear for herself or for her mother. She will not know what it feels like to be bound, silenced, or walk on eggshells. She will never think choosing a man that hurts her is normal or right. My daughter will recognize the portrait of a healthy relationship.”

See what I mean about that cape? If you would like to bring Michelle’s Portrait of Violence exhibit to your campus art gallery, contact Major at michellemajor@beavoicearts.com

Not getting any action? Here's why

Find out why your love nest has been empty lately–and what you can do to change it

The enigmatic qualities of women challenge men every day.  Getting a girl’s number is hard enough alone, but picking up those digits is even harder with a cock block.  What’s a cock block? A cock block is anything that stands in the way of you progressing from suggestive smiles to steamy sex. Beware of the 15 worst cock blocks of all time, and learn how to avoid them before your next hook-up:

Cock Block 1: The Unattractive Best Friend

The hot chick often has the not-so-hot, not-so-cute, and not-so-interesting sidekick who attempts to control the evening out of jealousy. 
Unblock: The simple solution is to grab a wingman who really owes you one.  Buy them both drinks all night and have a good time.  Getting the friend to like you will win over the hot chick, because you showed them both a good time.

Cock Block 2: Living with the ‘rents

Sure, living with your parents saves you tons of money in rent and time cleaning up your own mess.  But bring a girl home at two in the morning to find your dad watching Star Trek reruns in his boxers and she too will vanish into deep space as well.

Unblock: Moving out should be on your to-do list.  Until then, recommend going to her place for the sexy shenanigans.

Cock Block 3: Annoying Roommate

The annoying roommate could be hers or yours.  Either way, trying to get naked when they continue to burst in, play awful music or to lecture you on proper morals, kills the mood.

Unblock: You could take the passive route: the tie on the door, play your own music or sneak around.  Or you can be brave and firm and tell them to behave so you can misbehave–and lock them out for an hour.

Cock Block 4: Overwhelming Hen House

Trying to pick up one girl when she is with 10 of her closest friends is like Sarah Palin trying to write a book: it only ends in disaster and tons of laughter at your expense.  If you are not a complete Casanova, do not attempt.

Unblock: Just as with the controlling friend, now is the time to divide and conquer.  Think of a three-ring circus; if your friends are putting on a few other shows, they can’t focus in on you as much.

Cock Block 5: She Likes your Best Friend

Taking interest in a girl who likes your friend can result in friendship disaster or painful heartache.  You can’t get to her because her mind is completely wrapped around trying to get to him. 

Unblock: If your best friend does not like her, you have a chance.  Plainly showing your interest will stand out.  Girls like guys who like them back.  But be careful.  Losing a friend for a chick might not be worth it–so don’t step on your bro’s toes.

Cock Block 6: The Long Distance/Semi-Serious Boyfriend

She has a boyfriend who lived 2,000 miles away and she sees twice a year. Or she has a boyfriend who is not really a boyfriend at all. Does having a half-boyfriend mean she can’t sleep with other guys?

Unblock: Let her know you are interested.  If she is too, she may be willing to step out for a fling or break it off with the other guy. 

Cock Block 7: You’re Totally Smashed

You’re your own worst enemy. You have been pre-gaming since your class ended at 3:00 p.m., and now you are totally wasted now.

Unblock: Stay sober enough to be in control.  When she wakes up to you peeing out her window in the middle of the night, you most likely will not be invited back.

Cock Block 8: Bros before Hos
Constant guys’ nights and 3-on-3 basketball tournaments don’t leave any space for women.

Unblock: Tell the guys no and block out time for you and girls…and don’t ask if you can meet them after your sex-capade. She won’t be back for a round two.

Cock Block 9: You’re Egocentric

You talk about your job, your work-out plan, your classes and how once you hooked up with that girl from The Real World. No women will be able to get close to you because your head is so big.

Unblock:If you make it about you, that’s all you get…yourself and Rosie Palmer. Take an interest in your interest.

Cock Block 10: Bodily functions

Burping contests with your bros amuse only them.  Women are not impressed with your gas. Ever.

Unblock: Get some manners!

Cock Block 11: Awful Clothes

Clothes say a lot about a person.  You don’t want to be Pauly Shore of the bar or party. Because no one wants to go home with that guy.

Unblock: Don’t go too eccentric in order to be unique, but rather find a style that works for you. And NEVER wear Crocs.

Cock Block 12: Your Place
Wonder why you have never found a chick who enjoyed hooking up in your shower?  Maybe it is because she would rather pee outside than even go there.
Unblock: Everyone has minimal standards. Just make sure yours aren’t lower than hers.

Cock Block 13: Your Friendly Friend

Your friend or roommate monopolizes the conversation between you and the hot girl YOU just met and introduced.  She doesn’t know you are interested because you can’t get a word in.

Unblock: Interrupt him and invite her to go somewhere more private.  He will get the hint.  If not, stop introducing him to girls you like until he gets the message.

Cock Block 14: Environment

Screaming “WHAT?” every five second over loud music hardly gets to closer to screaming “OH YES!”
Unblock: Find a chill environment and she will be more likely to open up…

Cock Block 15: Virgins

She has never had sex. She has only been in one relationship and that was in high school.

Unblock: I said it once, and I’ll say it again.  If you are looking for a night of no-strings attached action, look for her frisky friend.

Collecting virginities

Could you ever take another person’s virginity?

Coming from the American Pie generation, losing your virginity epitomized the transition between high school and college, from child to adult. However, a one month study done by a student at NYU of 4,593 college students on his campus and others revealed surprising results. Of the freshmen who responded, 64 percent were still virgins.  The percentages shrank and as the college shenanigans progressed:

-Sophomore year: 56% virgins
-Junior year: 32% virgins
-Senior year: 28% virgins

Now, if you are shaking your head saying, “What? No way!” now may be the time to reconsider. Out of the six women in my dorm hall I was friends with, only two were non-virgins as of freshman year. 

Fast forward to the summer before my junior year of college to an embarrassing attempt to score on a date, only to be shut down because the guy was still a virgin and was not ready.  My crash and burn attempt at sex made me think could I ever take another person’s virginity again? 

“The problem is: virginity is a big deal to some and not a big deal to others. So sleeping with someone that has different beliefs on it is the problem. [What] I see most is guys take advantage of a girl who is a virgin and she wants “more” or a “relationship” and he is looking for a “good time”. Girls take advantage of guys too…don’t get me wrong. Sleep with someone who understands the situation the same way you do… virginity or not,” replied Tricia. 

Understanding the situation trumps all other complications with sex, whether it be virginity, one night stands or relationships.  However, losing your virginity, for a male or female, ignites emotions. As a couple, you form an emotional attachment forever; no one forgets their first time. 

“I took a virginity once.  It was a bad idea.  I knew exactly what I was doing, and I probably took advantage of her.  The fleeting romantic idea of taking someone’s virginity isn’t worth the months (literally) of emotional heartache she went through when she figured out I didn’t love her.  I still talk to her quite often, because I feel partially responsible for making sure she’s doing alright.  We’re good friends now, but every time I see her, it’s kind of painful for her.  Not worth it,” said Tom*.

So, what’s a gal or guy to do when they find themselves in the virgin/devirgined sexual situation?  Keep these three tips in mind:

-Know your limits.  If he/she wants to continue to guard his/her chastity, let them.
-Know your situation. If he/she wants to get it on…by all means…
-Know the results. Be aware of Tom’s recount.  Flowing emotions will appear eventually.

Now, I’m not recommending everyone wear their virginity as a sign around their neck; however, to avoid an awkward situation later and to stimulate discussions, letting that special someone know before you are both naked in bed together may be a good idea.  And, like always, play protected!

*Name has been changed for privacy.

5 not-too-scary, but still racy moves you can try tonight

With these entry-level moves, there’s no need to go full-force dominatrix. Work your way up to the candle wax and latex catsuits

You can actually spice up your sex life in a very tame and comfortable way and still get amazingly satisfying results. You don’t necessarily have to rig up the sex swing just yet; first, try some of these milder, yet totally, totally smoking-hot moves with your partner tonight!

1. Blindfolding

Recently, Cosmo Radio determined this move to be “hot” in the “Hot or Hype” segment of their programming in which they ask people to confirm whether or not something known for being sexy really is sexy. Blindfolding was rated “hot” for sure, and can be a great, low-key way to heighten you and your partner’s experience.

Without your sight, all of your other senses will perk up, much to your advantage. Try using a sexy texture, like silk or satin or even better, an item of your clothing like a stocking or slinky camisole. Plus you can rest easy because a blindfold is much easier to remove than say, furry locked handcuffs.

2. Leave an article of clothing on.

Whether it’s that hot pair of boots you bought for the fall, or the faded concert T-shirt you borrowed from him to sleep in, leaving one item of clothing on during your tryst can be very sexy. There is something about seeing a person not completely naked that makes your experience seem that much more “we-had-to-have-each-other.” Also, this is a way you can actually make being more covered up sexy!

3. Just add water.

You do not, I repeat, do not, have to jump into any sort of hot tub nor jacuzzi to add water and sexiness to your romantic evening. If you’re not quite ready for the reality TV show hot tub make out session, never fear. You can have an equally sexy time in the much more demure, much more private shower for two.

Simply grab a couple of towels and crank up the hot water–you know I have to make some sort of “getting clean never felt so dirty” line here, of course. Seriously though, showering together is very hot, highly-recommended, and a nice entry-level way of taking your sex life to the next level. Just watch out when leaning against those shower doors! Trust me.

4. Change the scenery.

If you always, always, always seem to find yourself in his or her twin bed staring at a poster of Brett Michaels, then it might be time to switch it up a bit. First of all, a house has many, many rooms. Second of all, is the Brett Michael poster from the ’80s a la Poison, or from the current era of Rock of Love? I’m totally curious. Regardless, even getting down and dirty on the bedroom floor or against a kitchen counter can be a fun change of pace without getting too crazy. You don’t have to go too far to take things to a whole new level.

5. Play dress up just a little.

You don’t need to wear one of those sexy kitty/sailor/nurse/plumber/orthodonist Halloween costumes that radiate lameness. You can however, add just one part of the costume to your adventure.

For example, instead of wearing a complete librarian ensemble, just wear your glasses. Instead of donning the complete sexy pirate get-up, just wear the eye patch. Wait, I’m not sure that would be the sexiest accessory to leave on, but you get my drift. Just a little can go a long way.

The point is, go at your own pace. Don’t feel pressured to slither into a pleather jumpsuit and have an arsenal of flavored sex lotions under your bed immediately. Just be yourself. Go slow. With each new adventure you can build your confidence and find out exactly which adventures suit your tastes.

When you push the envelope slowly, you can have fun, but still feel totally comfortable with everything including the escalation of your kinky comfort level. So, go slow, have fun, and be safe!

Do you have a good idea for a not-too-scary, but still racy move readers can try? Leave comments below!

Bondage for beginners

A novice’s guide to kink avenue

Don’t be scared! Give me a chance to explain! Okay, thank you. Welcome back. Now, you certainly can do whips n’ chains, leathered-out, piercey, spanky S&M, BUT that’s for hardcore fans. Let’s just take a tour for now, shall we?

Now, you can have a very sensual experience by perhaps tying your lover’s hands to the headboard with a necktie or using a silk scarf as a blindfold. Any sort of basic bondage or sensory depravation will be fun, provided you have trust, communication and a good “safe” word. Just don’t use discarded tights or any type of nylon. It may seem hot at the time, but they are damn difficult to untie after the fun is over. Trust me, I know.

Back to the point, not knowing where, when or how you’ll be touched can be incredibly exciting. Binding your hands only adds to the titillation, because when you get to the point where you just want to grab your partner and go at it, you’ll have to refrain, causing your desire to build. You can, of course, switch off roles and, depending what each partner enjoys, make the choice to travel further down S&M Lane. Perhaps you can try spanking your “naughty girl” or pinching his manly nipples … whatever tickles your goodies.

Here is why you may enjoy kink: When sexually aroused, you’re filled with endorphins. This gives you a higher threshold for pain, but that still doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll like it.

Just start light.

Clothing is a good place. Who wouldn’t want to be tossed around by Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman? Costumes can help you get into character, which makes assuming the submissive or dominant role a hell of a lot easier. Mary Sue would probably never take a belt to Joe Bob’s backside in real life, but in the bedroom, wearing black, thigh-high boots and some black lingerie, she can morph in to the dungeon mistress and he, the sexy prisoner.

Okay, I know this may seem rather silly, as opposed to just getting your freak on, but it can undoubtedly spice up a sex life. Below, you’ll find some tips. Please read them at your leisure.

– Discuss each other’s boundaries before any naughtiness ensues. Handing over control can be scary, particularly when unable to see or have a full range of motion. Trust and communication are absolutely necessary.

– You’ve probably heard of “safe” words, like “chicken soup” or “dishwasher.” They don’t necessarily have to be that random, but it’s good to choose a definite safe word which, if uttered, makes things stop immediately. After all, in the context of your roles, “no” or “stop” can mean anything from “No, Count Hardwood! I’m just a virginal servant girl!” to “Stop, Mrs. Suzy Teacher! Don’t smack me with that ruler!” or “Ow! That’s enough, jerk!”

– Dress the part. You may think corsets or merry widows are trampy, but they can be far sexier than straight nudity. Just try something new. If you usually have sex naked, try wearing a slip or miniskirt. But for heaven’s sake, never, ever, ever get caught naked wearing socks!

– If you’re wearing stockings and a garter belt (which you should–wowzers!), be sure to put your panties on over the garters. This way, you can remove the panties when the time comes, while still wearing shoes and stockings. You can lose the rest of your French maid costume, but leave those. It will be greatly appreciated and remember: If you’re gonna see your legs in the air, they might as well be wearing some sexy stilettos.

I know it may all seem like a bit much, but start with baby steps and don’t be afraid to propose a little scenario to your lover. Blindfolding and bondage can be as sweet, sensual, hot, raunchy, as whatever you like. When it comes to pain … things get a little more daring, but it can be one of the most intense orgasmic highs of your life. Fo’ sho’. But for now, start small. Have fun, you naughty kids, you!

What's your career personality?

Choose from six different personality types to see what careers may be best for you

CNN.com had an article that caught my eye this morning. Titled “Does Your Career Fit Your Personality?” it talked about six personality groups and what careers are best for you.  The article breaks them down as so:

1. Artistic –

These people are creative with extremely active imaginations. They also like to work without rules and use designs or words. Some good jobs for artistic people include an editor, graphic designer and producer. Salaries can be anywhere from $40,000-$80,000, CNN reported.

2. Conventional –

Conventional people are more of the opposite of those happy-go-lucky creative types. They like rules, schedules and instructions. They’d rather work with data than ideas and most are very practical. Ideal jobs for conventional people could be accountants, financial planners and technical writers, CNN stated. Their salaries run from $45,000-$75,000.

3. Enterprising –

People who are enterprising tend to be the leaders. They oversee projects from beginning to end and are doers more than thinkers. They look at the big picture. Some jobs for those who see themselves as enterprising could be program directors, sales reps and sales managers. Salaries vary, but CNN pointed out that most are about $48,000 to $78,000

4. Investigative –

Investigative people prefer working alone and using logic over imagination, solving problems and putting together puzzles. Most are science professors, librarians and optometrists, making approximately $48,000-$75,000.

5. Realistic –

Realists are very hands-on and like problems and finding solutions to them. They also like working outside, or with machines and other tools. They tend to be in jobs like electricians, nuclear engineers and orthodontists. Salaries can be anywhere from $35,000-$250,000, depending on the type of position.

6. Social –

Social people love helping others and working with people. They prefer teams and communicate well and would rather talk than work with machines. The best jobs for social people are those that let them do so, such as family practitioners, coaches and trainers. CNN reported that their salaries are anywhere from $45,000 to $160,000.

Our Take:

What’s your career personality?  Does it fit with the job suggestions?  Do you find descriptions like these accurate or just a made-up idea to get you to read stories?

Dating your classmate: a good idea?

Ways to make classmate dating doable

We’ve all been there. You’re sitting behind a girl or a guy in your class, you get a chance to admire his feathery hair, or her elegant shoulders, or a really nice butt. That one is genderless. In a situation where you’re forced to interact with people of all different shapes and sizes, it’s no strange thing to find yourself attracted to someone. And again, it’s no strange thing to want to do the no pants dance of romance with the person in question.

But wait a minute! What if things don’t work out? What if it’s just a one night stand? What if you don’t “perform” well enough? You’re doomed to an entire semester of awkwardness, constantly wondering how this person with the hair, the shoulders, the beautiful butt, is going to handle the whole situation! How are YOU going to handle this situation? Do you carry on like normal? Can you even look them in face?!

Are you crying? I’m sorry. Really, I am. But dry your tears, and maybe I can help make things easier:

My first bit of advice on the subject of hooking up with a classmate is: don’t do it! I know, I know, it seems contradictory.

Perhaps I can better explain myself with a story: I walked into my first day of math class in the second semester of my junior year. I was the opposite of excited. But I meet a girl (let’s call her Katie), we joke and flirt, we do the Facebook thing, and soon enough we were hanging out in her dorm room. One thing led to another, and we started a sexual relationship. Things were going fine, but suddenly…she began to get clingy. And jealous. And spiteful. And fat. Not really. But the relationship spiraled into nothingness the way any relationship does when presented with those issues.

Herein lay the problem: we still had a good half semester of math class left. Sure, I played the “be absent as often as possible” game, but Katie refused to talk to me. Or look at me. And in a classroom setting, that’s not only noticeable, but extremely annoying. How am I supposed to figure out the cosine of a triangle by myself?! Needless to say, it was awkward. And all our classmates knew it.

But you’re not the type to be scared by that story, are you? You want to have your cake and eat it too, don’t you? You’re wondering how that’s possible, aren’t you? Well, there are a few things you can do. For one, do NOT bring your real world relationship into the classroom. Wait until those moments when everyone walks to the elevator or across campus, and do your flirting there. The fewer classmates who know about your sordid little classroom affair, the better. That way, there’s no desire (on either of your parts) to keep up appearances.

Another thing to watch out for: make sure the other party can HANDLE a casual relationship, and its end (if it comes to that). Before you ever touch each other, keep an eye out for tell-tale signs: does he call you six times a day? Does she keep saying “I like you” every other sentence? I think you get the picture. The biggest thing in a casual classmate sex-romp is maturity. If they’re going to go all “high school musical” on you, you don’t want any part of it. Not even the butt.

That’s about the extent of advice I can give, other than: Good luck, and don’t screw it up. And if you do, don’t come crying to me. Cuz I warned ya.

Kama Sutra: Dorm Style

Positions that make use of a dorm room’s limited space

I’ll be honest, the first thing I worried about when moving onto campus was, “How is this going to ruin my sex life?” I mean between a roommate and a small – and possibly hard – bed, my style was destined to be cramped.

My suspicions were raised further when I walked in my dorm with my parents as a freshman. My bed was six feet high! Yes, six freaking feet. My parent’s loved the fact that I had my desk and study space underneath, with my bed out of the way. All I could think of was climbing six feet, with a hard-on, trying to get my groove. Not sexy.

But, I quickly learned that dorm sex is just as fun, albeit a bit more creative. So to help my readers out I present to you some of the best positions to keep it spicy.

1.) The Doorknocker. This is a quick favorite. Once I wanted an afternoon quickie. It was around 5:30 and I remember my roommate would be back at 6:18. So I said screw the bed and used this position. To make sure he couldn’t just walk in, I used the door as a brace.

2.) CHAIRentry. For some reason most dorms always have that spare armchair that’s a bit nicer than your desk chair, and certainly more comfortable. Well that chair became my sex chair. You have your lady or male friend sit with their hands and legs around the man as he kneels and enters. If you like it wild, the man can brace himself with the back of that armchair for more thrust.

3.) Mini Fridge tussle. We all have that many fridge that comes as high as your tummy. Well, for something new and exciting try bending someone over. It allows for easy access . Don’t even worry about taking off all your clothes.

4.) The Hush-Hush. So once or twice I haven’t been able to resist getting laid even though my roommate was in the room, sound asleep of course (or so he says). You lie in the spoon position with your partner in that awful six-foot bed. This position is nice because if the roomie does wake it appears as if you are sleep under the covers. This position only stays quiet if the man thrusts quietly (unlike my roomie who tried and failed the quietness of this position.)

5.) The Workout. This was my favorite. Instead of hitting the gym, I stood and carried my partner. Gentleman, make sure s/he wraps their legs around your waist and your shoulders. Or if you want to give them a workout make them use the bar on a lofted bed or the automatic closing thing on the top of the door.