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5 Ways to Break Up and Stay Grounded

Editorial Staff

Relationship advice for men!

“Breaking up is hard to do…” No. Breaking up is like being Charlie Brown with Lucy holding the ball. BAM. You’re on your butt in the dirt and damn it hurts! Here are 5 ways to leave your Lucy and feel good about it.

Lesson #1: If you think she is going to break up with you, make the first move. Unlike chess, taking your queen out early is one of the best ways to preserve your heart and ego. Honestly, most men know when the ground is getting shaky but just like Charlie they are just too trusting. Here are some tell tale signs she’s going to dump you and you better make the first move:

• She changes her dorm room bedding every time you sleep over
• She has broken up with you twice before
• She flirts with anyone and everyone when she has had one too many
• She goes to Vegas without you

Lesson #2: If you haven’t managed #1 effectively and you find yourself on your back in the dirt: Don’t let it happen again, even if she cries. There are a slew of sadistic Lucys out there but they can only be mean again if you let them. One minute you are kicked out of her life and then the next she is texting an apology. Don’t buy it, this is a heart roller coaster no one deserves or needs. Do you really want to spend any more time in anguish?

Lesson #3: Collect two or three good break up songs like Gotye’s, “Someone I used to Know,” and keep them on the ready for when you are feeling low. Time heals almost everything. You’re not the first guy to be dumped and no matter how badly it hurts a song or two reminding you that you’re not alone will help.

Lesson #4: Don’t just go out with a Lucy look a like and expect a different outcome. Dating a girl that is a lot like the last one is pitch-hitting and this hardly ever works out. Try dating a woman that is substantially different from the one that just left you like road-kill on the side of the road.

Lesson #5: Focus on yourself, your life and your friends. Likely, while you were dating Lucy you spent all your time with the object of your affection and her friends. Part of the hardest part of breaking up is that it tears a hole in the patterns of life. Change those patterns. Eat at different places, hang out with different people, do different things than you did when you were in the relationship. Different situations will make the hole disappear and get you past the breakup more quickly.

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