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Lollapalooza Official Lineup Announced

It seems last week’s rumors have turned out to be true.

The official Lollapalooza lineup has finally been announced, and it appears the initial rumors were true. Eminem, Outkast, Kings of Leon, Arctic Monkeys, Skrillex, and Calvin Harris are headlining the festival, while Zedd, The Glitch Mob, John Butler Trio, and many more are set to perform as well. The full lineup can be viewed on the Lollapalooza website: http://www.lollapalooza.com/2014-lineup/

Anyone who knows anything about Chicago, or music festivals in general, knows that Lollapalooza is an enormous event that brings close to 200,000 people to Grant Park every year for a three day party where people can get fucked up and hear/see awesome performances by talented artists. Sounds like a pretty good time, which it definitely is—for most people. To all those who love Lolla, its mainstream performances, delicious, yet expensive and unhealthy food, and enjoy the brotacular spectacle that it really is, I say all the power to you. By all means, knock yourselves out. Literally, if necessary.

But for me, I view those previous rumors and subsequent anticipation until the official announcement much in the same way I view say, Lindsay Lohan performing at a strip club. Yes, it sounds great at first, but then once you see it, you realize, holy shit 2004 was really ten years ago!

But I’m not here to hate. I happen to think Eminem is still the greatest rapper of all time (who’s still alive) even though his best work is behind him, and that all of the scheduled performers are truly talented. It’s just not my scene anymore. For example, I really have had quite enough of Skrillex. I don’t need vivid, strobe-light induced flashbacks of candyflipping during my raver days while rubbing up against somebody’s sweat-drenched shirt.

But to anyone who does enjoy that experience, please take advantage of everythingl that Lolla has to offer—and it definitely has a lot to offer. Just be sure to use the bathroom before you get trapped in a huge crowd, and don’t ingest anything that doesn’t have a name. Do these things and you can’t help but have a good time.  


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