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Boring. So very boring.

Thus far, Dexter’s final season is feeling quite…un-Dextery. Showtime’s successful serial killer drama starring Michael C. Hall has arrived at its last season, with the second episode airing last night.

Dexter’s latest chapter “Every Silver Lining” is a tale about monsters and the monsters that they create; and not a particularly good tale at that. The basic gist of this season so far is that Dexter has destroyed his sister Deb by turning her into a killer and moreover, a broken woman.

The Deb of season 8 is all boozy and wastrel-like, playing the dirty cop turned private eye who chooses her own hours and sleeps with the enemy. Having cut herself off from Dexter, (who provides her with her best scenes) Deb’s troubled life just isn’t that compelling. When Dexter does pop in to check in on dear old Deb, she is the verge of being emotionally interesting before she inevitably tells Dex to fuck off and leave.

It seems that after having killed LaGuerta, the itch to turn to murder has become far easier for Deb to scratch. We discover that she offs a hitman named El Sapo and steals his bejeweled prizes. Oh Dexter, what have you done to poor Deb?

Cue Buster Bluth: “I’M A MONSTER!!!”

Dexter is then forced to cover up for his sister and pulls the old switcheroo in the what has to be the most poorly moderated evidence room in the United States.

Though not entirely captivating, but certainly more intriguing than Deb, is the storyline with Dexter and his new mother figure Dr. Evelyn Vogel. Vogel came onto the scene in last week’s premiere and clearly had an interest in our boy Dexter.

We discover that Vogel was a friend of Dexter’s dad Harry, and even helped him create “The Code” that Dexter lives and kills by. Vogel enlists Dexter’s help in hunting down Miami’s latest serial killer “The Brain Surgeon” (as dubbed by Quinn.)

Said Brain Surgeon left a piece of his latest kill on Vogel’s front door, leading her to believe that it is a disgruntled former patient of hers. Dexter reluctantly “takes the case,” in part because that is what he does, and also because he’s always wanted a mommy. More psychopath psychoanalysis!

Vogel has this dumbass theory that psychopaths are “alpha wolves” who “help the human race survive long enough to become civilized” and that “without psychopaths, mankind would not exist today.” Whatever you say mommy dearest.

This plot could build into something entertaining; with Dexter having some cognitive dissonance between what his “mother” is telling him and what his projection of his dead father is telling him. I hope that the series’ creative staff doesn’t go with the completely obvious route of revealing Vogel to be the Brain Surgeon however.

There is of course another subplot involving Quinn, the character that no one seems to know what to do with, and the Batista family. Quinn is dating Batista’s sister Jamie and Batista wants Quinn to get some responsibility and blah blah blah blah.

With all of the late night boinking and dining that Jamie and Quinn, do I just want to know WHO THE HELL IS WATCHING DEXTER’S SON?!?!?

Dexter Season 8 is off to a very rough start in my opinion. There are a lot of factors at work that will most likely converge at some point, but they don’t really grab my attention. Hopefully the show can dial the tension up and make Dexter at least moderately exciting.

I know it doesn’t need to be said, and it is said far too often, but I miss the Trinity Killer…

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