It’s a fairly well-known fact that college is a time for sexual awareness and experimentation. You’ve spent your whole adolescence under the close watch of your parents, and now you’re finally on your own. You can explore your sexuality. But should you? It’s that apprehension that I want to address.
As a male, writing about women’s sexual power is intimidating. There’s no way I’ll ever really understand how a woman perceives herself, especially when it comes to sexuality. Society has given different interpretations of sexuality to each gender. But therein lies the fear of a woman’s realization of her sexual power.
There’s an unfair objectification of a woman who embraces her sexuality. She’s considered loose and easy, though she’s neither. It’s even worse when a woman chooses to celebrate her sexuality in public or the media. This is something I can actually speak to.
I’ve been involved behind the scenes of The Flaming Dames, a burlesque troupe based out of Chicago, for over a year now. And it pains me when I invite my friends to see them, or when I simply talk about them, and I’m met with disengaged faces or flat-out refusal of the subject. Why? Because burlesque dancers take off their clothes, and are therefore trashy, slutty, and you’re instantly branded a pervert for watching them. That’s the mentality we have.
That’s not only unfair to women, but to the people who hold these attitudes. Burlesque dancers are liberating themselves from the prudish shackles society’s put on women, but they (along with any other woman who decides to own her sexuality and let herself be desired) embody universally accessible ideas of confidence, feeling comfortable in your own skin, and being yourself without regard to what other people might say. And they not only put their bodies out there, but their shows incorporate dancing, singing, comedy, and even acrobatics. The courage it takes to sing, do a traditional Indian belly dance, make the audience laugh, AND show them your (nearly) naked body is monumental. And that gives each of the Dames an incomparable feeling of pride.
Being involved with the Dames has helped me see both sides of this issue. I’ve brought my female friends to see the shows, and I’ve watched them squirm in their seats because that kind of sexual openness makes them uncomfortable.
They’ve been taught to be submissive and “ladylike” (whatever that means), and then they’re confronted with these strong, sexy women who embrace their own sexual power. It’s confusing to a sexually repressed individual because they see an audience, wide-eyed and captivated, but on stage they only see a stripping woman.
As I said, I’ve been with this troupe for over a year, and the crowd cheers until they’re hoarse every night. That kind of reaction doesn’t come from “only a stripping woman.” It’s the confidence that comes from owning your sexuality that people envy, and admire, and cheer for. So, go ahead! Dance on the bar at the club! Flirt with guys, tease them! And maybe you, too, can get a taste of how bold and self-assured your sexuality can make you.
