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Kama Sutra: Dorm Style

Positions that make use of a dorm room’s limited space

I’ll be honest, the first thing I worried about when moving onto campus was, “How is this going to ruin my sex life?” I mean between a roommate and a small – and possibly hard – bed, my style was destined to be cramped.

My suspicions were raised further when I walked in my dorm with my parents as a freshman. My bed was six feet high! Yes, six freaking feet. My parent’s loved the fact that I had my desk and study space underneath, with my bed out of the way. All I could think of was climbing six feet, with a hard-on, trying to get my groove. Not sexy.

But, I quickly learned that dorm sex is just as fun, albeit a bit more creative. So to help my readers out I present to you some of the best positions to keep it spicy.

1.) The Doorknocker. This is a quick favorite. Once I wanted an afternoon quickie. It was around 5:30 and I remember my roommate would be back at 6:18. So I said screw the bed and used this position. To make sure he couldn’t just walk in, I used the door as a brace.

2.) CHAIRentry. For some reason most dorms always have that spare armchair that’s a bit nicer than your desk chair, and certainly more comfortable. Well that chair became my sex chair. You have your lady or male friend sit with their hands and legs around the man as he kneels and enters. If you like it wild, the man can brace himself with the back of that armchair for more thrust.

3.) Mini Fridge tussle. We all have that many fridge that comes as high as your tummy. Well, for something new and exciting try bending someone over. It allows for easy access . Don’t even worry about taking off all your clothes.

4.) The Hush-Hush. So once or twice I haven’t been able to resist getting laid even though my roommate was in the room, sound asleep of course (or so he says). You lie in the spoon position with your partner in that awful six-foot bed. This position is nice because if the roomie does wake it appears as if you are sleep under the covers. This position only stays quiet if the man thrusts quietly (unlike my roomie who tried and failed the quietness of this position.)

5.) The Workout. This was my favorite. Instead of hitting the gym, I stood and carried my partner. Gentleman, make sure s/he wraps their legs around your waist and your shoulders. Or if you want to give them a workout make them use the bar on a lofted bed or the automatic closing thing on the top of the door.

Don't cheat yourself: never fake an orgasm!

You’re only ensuring you don’t get real ones later

Let’s say he’s been going down on you for a while and it feels…okay. At least he’s trying. Might as well reward his efforts with a fake orgasm, right? Wrong! Big mistake, missy! A fake orgasm only leads him to believe that he’s rocking your world when, in reality, he’s no more skilled than a sloppy little puppy. Don’t give him a treat if he doesn’t perform the trick!

Assuming neither of you are deaf or dumb, you should be able to talk about sex: what works and what does not, what feels amazing and what tickles/hurts/feels like getting poked in the pooper. Honestly though, if you are partaking in this sort of intimate activity, you should be able to talk to one another.

Do you ever want an orgasm? Well, he won’t just magically figure it out someday. If you keep faking, he’ll have no idea that his current tactics aren’t doing it for you. You don’t even necessarily need to bring it up – just stop faking. He will definitely notice that something is amiss. You needn’t say you were faking all along – the male ego is fragile, after all. Just kindly, perhaps steamily suggest what you want him to do. He’ll likely appreciate the information.

Even if it isn’t terribly serious between you two, teaching a guy what’s what will make him a better lay for legions of lovers to come. Haha…come. You’re doing him a huge favor in the long run and earning yourself some sweet, sweet orgasms in the process. If he can’t take a grown-up discussion about sex, it may just be time to look for someone a little more mature. What’s the point of getting him off if you never do?

Not sure what to have him do? He could watch you masturbate to get some ideas of how you like to be touched. Perhaps you could look at a quality sex book together. It’s always fun to learn new skills! Be aware that some less-evolved men can be threatened by sex toys. It’s just insecurity. Let him know that while a dildo or clit stimulator can be nice, there ain’t nothing like the cock.

Just promise not to fake. Well, I’ll allow the occasional I’m-tired-just-finish-already fakey, but try not to make a habit of it. It doesn’t do either of you any good. When I was 18, I used to fool around with my boyfriend, then secretly masturbate after he’d fall asleep. A gal’s gotta get off somehow! But we’re not 18 anymore. Let’s have the best sex we possibly can. Now is the time! Go forth and find those orgasms that leave you tingly, breathing like you just ran a marathon and quivering with a fresh dose of oxytocin.