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Out of the Ordinary

Roommate Horror Stories

Mike Gregory

Roomies!!!

Reddit’s Collection of Horrors

        An enjoyable part of college life is your roommates. Often stuck together with no prior knowledge of each other, you’ll either learn to become friends or you’ll learn to hate each other. While scouring Reddit’s college subject matter, there was a question asked of Reddit’s users, “What are your college roommate horror stories?”

         If you are set to begin college this year, prepare yourself, it could get messy! It could be your new roommate who will do something strange, be obnoxious, and perhaps it could be you. Be afraid, be very afraid. Here are some quotes from the best stories on the Reddit board.

From EpicNarwhals: A friend had a roommate who would pee in his own trashcan. My friend confronted him, asked him to stop, and shortly after that he began to pee in my friends trashcan.

From Gumshooo: My roommate was a pretty shy dude, he eventually got his first girlfriend, and they had a weird way of showing intimacy. One day I walked into the living room and he covered up his junk quickly, with a pillow. I thought I’d walked in on a handjob, so I told them I was sorry and that I’d leave shortly. His girlfriend quickly spoke up and said “No, it’s not what you think. I was just trimming his pubes. Seriously, he doesn’t even have a boner.”

From figgy_puddin: Apparently, during our first night, my new roommate was still awake, lying in bed and playing on his phone, I did something to scare him; I sat forward in bed, slowly rotated my head in his direction, and just shrieked my lungs out for a few seconds, then flopped back down and was silent.

From do_right_now: We checked on our drunk roommate. She is sleeping in her bed, and has proceeded to shit herself, in her bed, and then rolled around in it in the night. Oh yes and she is wearing a thong, so that was even better. We spent the whole day airing out the apt and she attempted to clean her bed and sheets without vomiting.

From ajnack: He woke me up at 3am. He dropped his pants to the ground and said “Tom Cruise was right about everything.” He then, with his pants still at his ankles, bunny-hopped back to his bed and fell asleep.

From scribbling_des: A girl I knew in college went to an all-girls Christian school and was very sheltered. In art history one day, she was shown Michelangelo’s David. After class she had this look of absolute shock on her face. I asked her what was wrong and she just looked at me and said. “The balls! I didn’t know about the balls!”

From frawgster: My roommate masturbated all the time. He did it while standing in front of the TV watching a Hitler documentary, he did it sitting on his bed while my GF and I sat on my bed watching TV, and once when someone set off as stink-bomb outside the door.

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