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Megalodon is a mega load of crap

Michael DeLaney

Discovery lowers their standards

It is Shark Week on Discovery Channel, and all of your white friends are probably totally jazzed. The 26th Annual Shark Week began with a two-hour documentary called Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives. The documentary detailed the search for the prehistoric shark Megalodon, but guess what? The whole thing was bogus.

Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives was sold to audiences as the real deal, raising questions as to whether or not the 67-foot-long shark still exists today. The documentary turned mockumentary focused on a team of researchers on the coast of Cape Town, South Africa searching for megalodon.

What viewers most likely missed in the program was a disclaimer in Megalodon’s final moments that stated:

“None of the institutions or agencies that appear in the film are affiliated with it in any way, nor have approved its contents. Though certain events and characters in this film have been dramatized, sightings of “Submarine” continue to this day. Megalodon was a real shark. Legends of giant sharks persist all over the world. There is still debate about what they might be.”

Gawker reports that Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives was an easy-to-spot phony from the get-go. The report indicated that the talking head interviews of Megalodon “seemed acted, not candid.” Megalodon also seemed to employ some of the shoddy CGI work that we see in similar Shark movies on Syfy.

While Discovery’s Shark Week typically runs fact-based, scientific programs, Megalodon was just a flat-out-lie. Perhaps Discovery is getting a little worried about shark competition from Syfy, whose made-for-TV flick Shardnado is getting a lot of word-of-mouth coverage.

Sharknado has been frequently trending on social media since its July premiere, and is even being screened at actual movie theaters. So it would seem that with Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives, Discovery is realizing what Hollywood has known for years: Americans don’t want to learn, they want to be mindlessly entertained into a state of intellectual apathy.

You whored yourself out Discovery.

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