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Out of the Ordinary

Bondage for beginners

A novice’s guide to kink avenue

Don’t be scared! Give me a chance to explain! Okay, thank you. Welcome back. Now, you certainly can do whips n’ chains, leathered-out, piercey, spanky S&M, BUT that’s for hardcore fans. Let’s just take a tour for now, shall we?

Now, you can have a very sensual experience by perhaps tying your lover’s hands to the headboard with a necktie or using a silk scarf as a blindfold. Any sort of basic bondage or sensory depravation will be fun, provided you have trust, communication and a good “safe” word. Just don’t use discarded tights or any type of nylon. It may seem hot at the time, but they are damn difficult to untie after the fun is over. Trust me, I know.

Back to the point, not knowing where, when or how you’ll be touched can be incredibly exciting. Binding your hands only adds to the titillation, because when you get to the point where you just want to grab your partner and go at it, you’ll have to refrain, causing your desire to build. You can, of course, switch off roles and, depending what each partner enjoys, make the choice to travel further down S&M Lane. Perhaps you can try spanking your “naughty girl” or pinching his manly nipples … whatever tickles your goodies.

Here is why you may enjoy kink: When sexually aroused, you’re filled with endorphins. This gives you a higher threshold for pain, but that still doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll like it.

Just start light.

Clothing is a good place. Who wouldn’t want to be tossed around by Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman? Costumes can help you get into character, which makes assuming the submissive or dominant role a hell of a lot easier. Mary Sue would probably never take a belt to Joe Bob’s backside in real life, but in the bedroom, wearing black, thigh-high boots and some black lingerie, she can morph in to the dungeon mistress and he, the sexy prisoner.

Okay, I know this may seem rather silly, as opposed to just getting your freak on, but it can undoubtedly spice up a sex life. Below, you’ll find some tips. Please read them at your leisure.

– Discuss each other’s boundaries before any naughtiness ensues. Handing over control can be scary, particularly when unable to see or have a full range of motion. Trust and communication are absolutely necessary.

– You’ve probably heard of “safe” words, like “chicken soup” or “dishwasher.” They don’t necessarily have to be that random, but it’s good to choose a definite safe word which, if uttered, makes things stop immediately. After all, in the context of your roles, “no” or “stop” can mean anything from “No, Count Hardwood! I’m just a virginal servant girl!” to “Stop, Mrs. Suzy Teacher! Don’t smack me with that ruler!” or “Ow! That’s enough, jerk!”

– Dress the part. You may think corsets or merry widows are trampy, but they can be far sexier than straight nudity. Just try something new. If you usually have sex naked, try wearing a slip or miniskirt. But for heaven’s sake, never, ever, ever get caught naked wearing socks!

– If you’re wearing stockings and a garter belt (which you should–wowzers!), be sure to put your panties on over the garters. This way, you can remove the panties when the time comes, while still wearing shoes and stockings. You can lose the rest of your French maid costume, but leave those. It will be greatly appreciated and remember: If you’re gonna see your legs in the air, they might as well be wearing some sexy stilettos.

I know it may all seem like a bit much, but start with baby steps and don’t be afraid to propose a little scenario to your lover. Blindfolding and bondage can be as sweet, sensual, hot, raunchy, as whatever you like. When it comes to pain … things get a little more daring, but it can be one of the most intense orgasmic highs of your life. Fo’ sho’. But for now, start small. Have fun, you naughty kids, you!

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