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Out of the Ordinary

A horse walks into McDonald's

Michael DeLaney

…and leaves something behind

Attention all equestrians, jockeys and cowboys: you may not bring your horse in McDonald’s.

A horse in McDonald’s usually leads to one thing: a large amount of crap. On July 20, a UK woman riding her horse attempted to order a meal from McDonald’s drive-thru. The woman was accompanied by a smaller human female atop an even smaller horse.

The McDonald’s restaurant refused the lady rider drive thru service. This little bit of news didn’t seem to please the equestrian in question, who proceeded to bring her horse in McDonald’s (perhaps she thought this would get her the Big Mac she desired?)

It didn’t take very long for the horse in McDonald’s to let his presence be known. The horse in McDonald’s did what most rude humans verbally do when they are displeased with their service experience: he took a dump on the establishment.

The displeasure of the horse in McDonald’s was not represented in metaphorical excrement, but in the literal variety.  Mr. Ed’s display of defecation caused a lot of upset for both the staff and the patrons of this UK McDonald’s restaurant.

According to a spokesperson for the restaurant, the owner of the horse has been charged with a Fixed Penalty notice for this diarrhea diorama.

The spokesperson addressed the situation by saying: “The health safety of our customers and staff is our top priority and for this reason we are unable to serve pedestrians, bicycle riders or customers on horseback through the drive-thru.”

So my advice for any horse owners out there who are craving McDonald’s would be this: if you indeed want to take your horse through the McDonald’s drive-thru, you should call up your local mechanic and genetic engineer. Together they can put their heads together to create a hybrid horse/automobile that would adhere to the drive-thru policy.

Or just put a wig on it and bring your horse in McDonald’s, saying she’s your cousin from out of town.

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