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What I wish I knew when I was single

If you find yourself without a steady, reassure yourself that you’re just fine being single

I just spent the weekend immersed in varying reenactments of the “Single Ladies” dance and I’m going to be honest with you: I loved it.

These days, the omnipresent anthem reminds me of all the reasons single ladies, and guys, should be relishing their singledom. Of course, I love my current steady beau, but sometimes I do wish I could go back in time and whisper to my former single self these words of wisdom:

You will eventually meet “the one.”

Wondering if you’ll ever meet the guy or girl you’re meant to be with can keep you up at night. As lame as it sounds, It can potentially consume you. Don’t let it! I heard someone say once that you should act as if you are definitely going to meet the love of your life…at age 32. Or 40. Or 29. Whatever – the point is, act as if it’s out there for you, and take the pressure off yourself to find that person right now.

You have nothing to worry about. Enjoy this time of your life, because when you look back, you might laugh at how worried you were, and maybe wish you’d sown a few more wild oats before settling in with “the one.” Which brings me to…

Sow your wild oats now!

Yes, it’s true that a steady diet of serial newness isn’t very nutritious. It’s like empty calories. Shallow hook-ups are not as necessarily as fulfilling as long-term relationships

But do you know what? They’re delicious. They rule!

You’ll never know how much they rule until you’re with your steady and kind of wistful for the days of meeting your Psychology class crush at a party and sneaking a kiss in the closet.

So take advantage of it now! Sow those wild oats! Be careful, of course, but the point is that you want to look back on your life with no resentment nor remorse. Ensure that you won’t wish you had been wilder in your wilder single days.

You are way hotter than you think you are.

There is a phenomenon in which, after some time passes, and you’re looking at photo albums of yourself a few years back, you hear “I can’t believe I thought I was fat back then! Look at me!”

There is another phenomenon that happens, after some time passes, and you’re hanging out with some old college friends and you hear, “I had the biggest crush on you!”

These two phenomena lead me to this conclusion: you are hot. Hotter than you know. Take a look right now and see yourself for the hottie you are. There’s also another phenomenon, after some time passes, when you are embarrassed that you typed the word “hottie” in an article. But, I digress…

You are a completely whole person on your own.

I never thought I needed someone to “complete” me, but I did feel a bit lost until I settled down. Once I settled down, I realized that your real happiness is never determined by receiving the love of another person.

It comes from loving yourself, as you are, right now. Single or attached, no matter what. You are the person you will be in a relationship with your whole life.

Now, as Beyonce says, “Put your hands up! Oh-oh-oh…”

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