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Putting an end to your on-again-off-again relationship

Janelle Vreeland

Our guidelines tell you when it’s time to say goodbye

We all know someone who has been in the following situation: they are hopelessly in love with their significant other, but the relationship is often rocky at best. One day they are talking about marriage, the next they can’t stand to look at each other. And both of their online relationship statuses change fast enough to make your head spin. Does this sound familiar? Or, worse yet, are you in an on-again-off-again relationship? If you’re growing weary of being in a state of ‘it’s complicated’ it may be time to permanently break it off. Our guidelines will help you decide whether or not it’s time to bid your sometimes lover farewell.

Your relationship has become a joke among your friends.

Sure, friends tease each other about their relationships all the time. But if your relationship has become a laughingstock to even your closest friends and family, it may be time to reconsider how serious you are about it. When your friends just roll their eyes whenever you announce you’re single or back together then you know that your dating drama has started to get to them. I have a friend who has announced – on Facebook, no less – that she is single/back with her ex so many times that her friends have stopped asking her about it. She may not realize it, but she fluctuates so quickly from ‘brokenhearted’ to ‘in love’ that almost no one takes her relationship seriously. Outsiders often offer the best insight when it comes to assessing relationships. So, if your friends no longer have faith that your relationship will endure, they may be sensing what is to come.

One or both of you can never seem to commit.

Relationships can end for a number of reasons, but if you or your partner’s constant fear of commitment keeps putting the brakes on your relationship it may be time to reconsider it. If your partner keeps reentering into the relationship saying that they’ve changed when, in truth, they haven’t, the relationship stands little chance of growing. If either of you aren’t ready for commitment it may be a good idea to see other people or enjoy being single.

Fidelity is an issue.

Chances are you know many relationships that fell apart because of infidelity. Often, one or both of the partners involved remain deeply in love with the other and so they attempt to work through their problems. Although this works sometimes it doesn’t always work, and, often, the cheater continues to cheat. If the cheater truly loves their partner they will stop cheating or, if necessary, seek help. It’s as simple as that. So, if you find yourself continually taking back your cheating lover it may be time to let them go for good.

The relationship has become a safety net.

Some people are just afraid to be single. It’s sad but it’s true. Whether it’s because they’ve never really been single, or if it’s because they’ve just been in a relationship so long that they forgot what being single is like, some people are truly frightened by the thought of being alone. When that happens, these people, often, will grab a hold of any potential love interest they can — be it a new love or a friendly ex. If you or your ex fit this description it’s time to closely examine why you’re still together. If it’s just because the relationship just feels ‘safe’ or ‘familiar’ then it’s time to get out.

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