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Sex & Dating

Having a sexversation

What kind of pillow talk should you and your partner be engaging in?

Some couples are for the lights-off kind of sex, where they would be lucky to know what color of underwear each other is wearing.  And some couples are the public-display sex kind, meaning we’re the ones lucky enough to know the color of their underwear! 

While each couple has separate levels of comfort with their intimacy, the fact is healthy sex is healthy sex. And obtaining that comfort requires communication. To ensure that your sex life is healthy, engage in the following five sexversations and keep your love train on track.

Was that good for you?

Sex measures a relationship’s temperature like a thermometer does the weather’s; good sex signals a good relationship. If your passionate embraces start to become more like a clock-watching session, the chemistry and emotions between you and your partner are changing.  A simple question, with an honest response, could open doors for conversations about why your sex is or is not sizzling.

What’s your favorite position?

Bad pick up line? Yes. Good for relationships? Also yes. Simply stated, if you don’t know your partner’s favorite position you earn an “F” in the bedroom.  Even if you may think you know, chances are, if he or she has not explicitly told you, “I like doggy style,” you probably don’t know. 

What’s your fantasy?

Indulging your desires to your partner can open the door for many exciting sexual experiences.  What if you had been harboring a secret desire to have sex in the library, which is the very fantasy your partner unveils?

However, this question comes with a warning label: you can get in trouble here. Spilling to your girlfriend about your long-time fantasy of a threesome with a couple of girls he met on spring break last year might yield the results you want.  While I am not advocating lying, acclamation to your dirty mind would be appreciated—so start easy.

Do you like my body?

A dangerous question but a necessary one. If his six-pack abs slowly melted away around the six-month mark, speaking up about how much you miss them will not be the worst thing in the world. Taking care of yourself has more benefits than merely stopping wandering eyes.

What do you want?

Some people have never been asked this question. They go along with whatever type of sex is given to them without protest…all the while dreaming about being held up to the wall or moving away from missionary.  Simply asking your partner what they want mid-act gives both of you the opportunity for a perfectly satisfying, happy ending. In both senses of the phrase.

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