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Sex & Dating

Are you ready to lose your virginity?

The questions you need to consider before losing your virginity

The question of whether or not you are ready to lose your virginity is an age-old one and a question almost every young woman asks herself at some time. Whether or not you feel like you are ready is a decision that is for you and you only to decide. It’s true though that media, advertisements and even music place a heavy emphasis on sex but just because it is in your face everyday does not mean you need to engage in the action.

A lot of young women find themselves asking others if losing their virginity is the right decision. While it is not wrong to ask people about sex, and is often actually very beneficial, it is doubly important to ask yourself a few key questions before you decide whether or not you are ready to lose your virginity. You may be in a serious, long-term relationship or not, but perhaps the most important question that you need to answer for yourself is if you know how to prevent sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and pregnancy. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) in 2009, a total of 1,244,180 cases of Chlamydia infections were reported in 50 states and the District of Columbia. A total of 301,174 cases of gonorrhea were also reported along with 44,828 cases of syphilis. These numbers prove that contraception and protection from STD’s is still very important. Being sexually educated before being sexually active should be one of your top concerns when deciding if you want to lose your virginity.

If you feel as though you aren’t quite comfortable with or don’t fully understand the ways you can protect yourself, then you are probably not ready to engage in sexual activity just yet. If you are nervous about using a condom or don’t really know how to put it on and that is one of the main things holding you back, then talking to someone who has information on the topic is the best thing to do before initiating sex. You can practice putting a condom on a banana so you are completely comfortable and know how to do it when the time actually comes. If you are too nervous or embarrassed to buy condoms for sex, then chances are you not truly ready to lose your virginity yet. You should also know about the different types of birth control that exist so that you can prevent getting pregnant if you are not ready to have children yet.

Another important question you should ask yourself before losing your virginity is if you feel comfortable talking about sex with your partner. If you can talk to your partner about anything but the topic of sex is a bit uncomfortable then you may want to wait until you are closer with your partner to lose your virginity to them. If you cannot talk about having sex, then you are not ready to actually engage in having sex with that person. If you are in fact comfortable with talking to your partner about sex then you should discuss the idea with them before you decide to engage in sex. Talking about it may relieve some of your nerves or answer the questions you have about it and will make you feel more comfortable about losing your virginity to them.

A follow up question to that is if you feel like your relationship with end if you do not have sex with your partner. If the answer to this question is yes, then you should think twice not only about losing your virginity but also about your relationship in general. Sex is never a reason to stay in a relationship and if you are feeling pressured by your partner to lose your virginity then the relationship you are in may not be truly genuine. If you are not ready to commit to losing your virginity, regardless of what your reasons may be, then your partner should respect your decision and leave it be. If you find that your partner gets frustrated and angry at the fact that you have not given into them, then that is not the type of relationship you want to be in. Losing your virginity should be your decision and yours only, and it should not be influenced by the fact that someone will be upset with you if you do not do it.

Another question you should ask yourself is how you would feel if your relationship ended shortly after losing your virginity to your partner. If you find that in your answer you would be terribly upset, then losing your virginity right now is probably not the best option for you. Granted, relationships do not always last forever but you want to feel comfortable knowing that if you lose your virginity to your partner and for some reason you break up after, you would be OK and emotionally healthy afterwards. This is just another emphasis that losing your virginity is a decision that you need to make based on how you and you alone feel.

If you know for a fact that you are emotionally ready to lose your virginity but are simply nervous and have fears about your body or the mechanics of sex then it is important to note that almost everyone has this fear. Think about it this way; if you are a virgin and haven’t had sex before, how can you be expected to know what to do? The majority of people contemplating losing their virginity, both male and female, struggle with this fear. If this is your main concern, then talking to your partner about your fears and possible insecurities is key. If you feel as though you cannot talk to your partner about your fears, then once again losing your virginity now is probably not the best option for you.

At the end of the day, deciding whether or not you are ready to lose your virginity is completely up to you. Being able to communicate with your partner about your nerves, fears or doubts is equally as important. Make sure you feel completely comfortable with the decision you make, either way, and that you are happy in your decision.

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