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Abbas Kobeissi

The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water

For about 20 minutes or so the latest Spongebob movie unspools pretty much the way you’d expect it to. Bob is running his underwater burger place and is at war with rival junk-food proprietor Plankton, who wants his secret formula for the mayonaisse that makes his burgers so special.

The film tells the story of a bearded pirate, played by Antonio Banderas, who steals a magical book, which tells a story that unfolds on screen: that of Bikini Bottom, an undersea world where SpongeBob, an employee of the popular Krusty Krab fast-food joint, guards the secret recipe for its delicious burgers. A rival called Plankton, owner of the grisly restaurant the Chum Bucket, wants to steal the recipe, a scroll kept in a bottle, but it vanishes in some weird hole in the space-time continuum; a catastrophe seemingly triggered by the pirate’s unauthorised reading of the magic book. Can’t the owners just remember the recipe? Who knows? Almost every line is a zinger, which can be appreciated in a state of total sobriety: it’s a non-stoner stoner film – and very funny.

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Beau Biden Dies of Brain Cancer, Family Says

Beau Biden, the son of Vice President Joe Biden, has died of brain cancer, the family said. He was 46.

“It is with broken hearts that Hallie, Hunter, Ashley, Jill and I announce the passing of our husband, brother and son, Beau, after he battled brain cancer with the same integrity, courage and strength he demonstrated every day of his life,” the vice president said Saturday night. “The entire Biden family is saddened beyond words. We know that Beau’s spirit will live on in all of us — especially through his brave wife, Hallie, and two remarkable children, Natalie and Hunter,” he added.

Beau Biden, who had been considering a run for governor in Delaware, was undergoing treatment at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center.

“Beau’s life was defined by service to others. As a young lawyer, he worked to establish the rule of law in war-torn Kosovo. A major in the Delaware National Guard, he was an Iraq War veteran and was awarded the Bronze Star. As Delaware’s Attorney General, he fought for the powerless and made it his mission to protect children from abuse,” the vice president said.

“More than his professional accomplishments, Beau measured himself as a husband, father, son and brother. His absolute honor made him a role model for our family. Beau embodied my father’s saying that a parent knows success when his child turns out better than he did,” Biden said.

“In the words of the Biden family: Beau Biden was, quite simply, the finest man any of us have ever known,” he said.

QB Johnny Manziel in Water Bottle Fight

Cleavland Browns QB, Johnny Manziel, allegedly got into a fight with a friend after a golf tournament Saturday. Johnny and a group of friends were leaving the Byron Nelson Golf Classic in Irving, Texas, near Dallas, when he got into an argument with a friend in his group.  The guys were yelling at each other when Johnny threw a water bottle “really hard” at the guy, but missed.

Johnny’s friend sarcastically screamed, “Nice throw, Johnny,” which apparently enraged the Cleveland Browns QB.  The eyewitness says Johnny charged his friend, but was stopped by someone in his group. Off duty cops who were working security came quickly, spoke with Johnny and his friend, and calmed the situation down.  The picture shows Johnny sitting in a chair and talking to a police officer by the Four Seasons hotel.

No arrests were made.

Kim Richards' Dying Ex-Husband Monty Confirms He's Missing Daughter Brooke's Wedding

Kim Richards’ eldest daughter Brooke won’t have her father Monty Brinson to walk her down the aisle at her second wedding, Monty confirmed in an emotional Instagram post.

As shown on this past season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Brooke, 29, and Fatburger heir Thayer Wiederhorn first married in an intimate ceremony at aunt Kathy Hilton’s Bel-Air, Calif., home in August 2014, i order for her father, who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, to be in attendance. However, as Monty explains in his heartbreaking post, Brooke has always dreamed of a wedding in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

“My daughter is getting married on Saturday, her dream wedding on the beaches of Cabo. Everyone left this morning but unfortunately for me for health reasons I wasn’t able to attend, but I’ve still been blessed that I was able to walk her down the aisle in August. As everyone knows last May I was given a few months to live, but guess what I’m a fighter and its a year later, still not giving up. All the family and friends will be there but I will to in spirit. Anybody that knows me I know I like a good party lol. But it’s better for me to stay here and get better so I can be around my family and children a long time. My prayers have been answered with my daughter having her dream wedding what more could a father ask for,” he wrote on Wednesday, May 20, alongside a photo from Brooke’s first wedding.

“I will miss everyone of you and will see you when you get back. And I would like to thank everyone for all the prayers this past year it’s really helped me get through this fight, each of you have touched my heart, but I’m going to keep on fighting no giving up in me. I know I’m crazy but I do have a private plane at my disposal and might surprise everyone if I show up Sat. I don’t think my dr would like that but I can be stubborn sometimes. Much love to everyone and a beautiful Memorial holiday to all. I love you Brooke now have a beautiful wedding and just know I’m right there with you #wedding #beach#family #friends #cabo #heart #blessed #thankful#holiday #memorial,” Monty concluded.

Following her April arrest, Richards voluntarily checked herself into a rehab program. Before Brooke’s nuptials this Saturday, Richards took a break from the facility and is expected to be at her wedding this weekend in Cabo.

Robert Downey Jr. Moves Same Furniture to Every House He Rents While on Location for Films

Robert Downey Jr. really likes the feel  of home so much that he decides to have the same furniture shipped to every place he rents while on location for films he stars in. The Captain America star, 50, recently traveled to Atlanta to shoot his film and moved all his furniture from L.A. to his temperary home.

“Whenever he rents a place, he has all the same furniture sent so there’s consistency from rental to rental,” a source tells us. “It comes in big semis. He does it for a sense of comfort.”

Now RDJ’s 6-month-old baby girl Avri and his wife Susan will feel right at home.

Chris Pratt Went Fully Naked for a Parks and Recreation Nude Scene

A few years before he beefed up for his new movie, Gaurdians of the Galaxy, Chris Pratt pulled a stunt move for a scene in season 2 of his show, Parks and Recreation. Pritt stripped fully naked for one special Parks and Recreation scene. The 35 year old superstar was interviewed by the UK TV presenter Graham Norton, telling him why he decided to pull this off. Pratt played loser Andy Dwyer.

When asked why he pulled this off, he stated that, “We were shooting a scene where my character turns up naked at my costar’s door,” This was referring to Andy trying to win back his ex-girlfriend, Ann Perkins. “I was wearing skin-colored underwear and I wasn’t getting quite the right reaction I was hoping for. It was late in the day so I decided to improvise and drop my trousers for the take.” said Pritt.

Not only did Ann not ask him to pay her a naked visit, she wasnt the one who ended up opening the door. Instead he found himself face-to-face with Leslie Knope, who was played by Amy Poehler and was not expecting Pratt’s full-frontal nudity. “Her reaction was great!” Pratt told Norton, “It was the take they used.”

Not long after the episode was aired, Pratt framed a letter he recieved from NBC saying what he did was against protocol.

Josh Duggar Responds to Child Molestation Allegations

It might be hard to believe but an alarming report has emerged with the Duggar family. According to a recent police report, Josh Duggar, one of the stars of TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting, alledgly molested five girls starting in 2002, when he was just 14 years old. Some of these girls were reported as his sisters.

Josh , now 27 years old, issued a statement to People in response to the allegations: “Twelve years ago, as a young teenager, I acted inexcusably for which I am extremely sorry and deeply regret. I hurt others, including my family and close friends. I confessed this to my parents who took several steps to help me address the situation. We spoke with the authorities where I confessed my wrongdoing, and my parents arranged for me and those affected by my actions to receive counseling. I understood that if I continued down this wrong road that I would end up ruining my life.” He also stated, “I would do anything to go back to those teen years and take different actions. I sought forgiveness from those I had wronged and asked Christ to forgive me and come into my life. In my life today, I am so very thankful for God’s grace, mercy and redemption.”

Josh confessed all the wrong doings  to his father, Jim Duggar, but Jim did not call the authorities but called his church instead. Josh was put in a church program and was a changed man after he got out. He apoligized to all his victims and seeked forgiveness. 

Michelle Duggar later confessed to the police that Josh did not recieve counseling and he was just sent to a family friend. The police couldnt press charges because the three-year statute of limitations has expired.

Boyhood

Full review.

Boyhood is as real as life itself. The actors play people that are noticeably real, and we see them grow and change. My problem with the movie is not about credibility or reality. Both of these traits are saturated in the movie in spades. What I object to is that a movie should resonate more: It should be deep or moving or entertaining.

‘Boyhood’ is too ordinary. I feel as though I just watched a two-and-three-quarter-hour home video, and to a degree I had some understanding for the characters, but I felt they could have tightened the proceedings in a more sensible way. I admire how ‘Boyhood’ reflects real life, and its observations are spot on, but they needed to do more to keep me wanting to politely tell the intimate host of this home movie that I really needed to get back home. The soundtrack is the spirit of good taste, but the proceedings are often boring.

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Gravity

Full review.

At once the most realistic and beautifully choreographed film ever set in space, Gravity is a thrillingly realized survival story spiked with interludes of breath-catching tension and startling surprise.

Gravity is out of this world. Words can do little to take the visual surprise this space opera creates. It is a film whose impact must be experienced in 3-D on a theatrical screen to be fully understood.

Though the strong work of Sandra Bullock and George Clooney — the only two actors who appear on camera — is essential to what the film accomplishes, the great lure of “Gravity” is the way director Alfonso Cuarón, cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki and visual effects supervisor Tim Webber have collaborated to make us feel we’re stranded in outer space ourselves, no questions asked.

From its very first image of the shuttle Explorer and some of its astronauts floating close to 400 miles high, with a mammoth planet Earth huge behind them, “Gravity” revels in its ability to create images that convey the beauty, enormity and terror that being so, so far out there implies.

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Full review.

Like most sequels, this one isn’t as good as the original. There’s plenteously of action and a lot of brash noises, but many of the characters seemed weaker and not as well-defined or as vividly portrayed as they were in the first film.

This film hits the ground running with the Avengers in full battle against a Hydra outpost where they see a couple of enhanced humans, Quicksilver (Aaron Taylor-Johnson of “Kick-Ass”) and his sister, the Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen of “Godzilla”) who are fighting for Hydra. Qucksilver is like the Flash and the Scarlet Witch has super powers, including telepathic influence over people’s minds. Both of them have a grudge against Iron Man because of damage done by Stark Industries weapons.

Influenced by a mind trick initiated by the Scarlet Witch, Tony Stark (Iron Man, played by Robert Downey Jr.) attempts a dangerous artificial intelligence experiment with robots that goes awry, creating the super-villain Ultron, who, in turn, creates a robot army to destroy mankind. In another dangerous experiment later in the film Tony Stark and Bruce Banner (the Hulk, played by Mark Ruffalo) help to create yet another artificial life form called the Vision, who, with Thor’s help, becomes an Avengers ally.

The Avengers, aided by the Vision (voiced by Paul Bettany of “Priest” who also does the voice of the computer system Jarvis) end up in a big battle to save the earth from Ultron and his robot army. This battle includes the emergency evacuation of an entire flying city.
Even though this film is almost as long as the first Avengers movie, it feels a lot more rushed and crowded with partly developed subplots, some of them ill explained. One such subplot involves an expedition by Thor (played by Chris Hemsworth) and Erik Selvig (Stellan Skarsgård) to some magic pool where Thor sees future events, including the creation of the Vision. This whole subplot makes little sense as presented. Maybe there will be an extended director’s cut of this film someday that will flesh out some of these subplots.

One interlude that worked out well in the film is an Avenger’s visit to Clint Barton’s secluded home. Barton, called Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner of “The Bourne Legacy”) gets a lot more screen time in this film and makes the most of it. Barton’s wife, Laura (Linda Cardellini of the “Mad Men” TV series) has some nice scenes with her husband and children in this film. It is a bit of normalcy in an otherwise fantastic landscape.

Another subplot involves a romance between Bruce Banner and the Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson). Even though a considerable amount of screen time is devoted to this romance, it doesn’t seem to really go anywhere. This appears to be a plot element that will be picked up again in a future Marvel film.

The plot of the film is overstuffed. Either the film needed to be longer, or some plot elements needed to be dropped. There just wasn’t enough time to develop all these characters and all these subplots. The actors who do get enough screen time, Renner, Ruffalo, Johansson and Cardellini, give good performances. The rest do the best they can with the time they have. This film gives ample evidence of how difficult it is to make a sprawling action movie like this and what a great job was done in the first Avengers film.