**This content is sponsored by Lelo**
Admit it – there are some pretty awesome perks that come along with dorm living. You never have to watch “Law and Order” marathons alone, you can always find a party to go to on the weekend, and if you’re lucky enough to have one of those super-dedicated RAs, you get free cake anytime someone on your floor has a birthday.
But privacy? That’s not usually part of the bargain. If you’re not the kind of person who live-tweets their sexcapades, you may have a little trouble satisfying your needs while keeping the gossip at bay. Don’t despair – the sexperts from Paris Intimates have some great ideas that can help you keep your down-and-dirty times on the down-low.
Skip the Shady Porn Store. There are few things more embarrassing than bumping into your professor as you exit Condom Kingdom. When that black plastic bag tears and your new double-ended dildo and copy of Big Booty Bonanza 9 crashes to the sidewalk, it’s a horrifying moment.
There’s nothing shameful about stocking up, but if it’s privacy you’re after, ordering online is a much safer option. So skip the Adult Mart and head to ParisIntimates.com instead – and don’t forget to clear your browser history if you’re living with nosy roommates.
Enormous Dildos – Not the Best Choice. There’s something about a giant skin-toned vibrator that just screams “use me in a prank!” If you don’t want to see your favorite sex toy glued to the Dean’s statue in the middle of the quad, opt for something a little more discreet. We recommend toys from the Lelo line, especially the Lelo Siri.
Small enough to fit in the palm of your hand, the Lelo Siri features FDA-approved silicone and a state-of-the-art motor that delivers high-intensity vibrations. The best thing? The Siri is as quiet as a whisper. If you’ve ever tried to use a giant buzzing vibrator while sharing a bunk bed, we don’t have to tell you how important it is to think about size and volume. How did people even get by in the mid-twentieth century?
Honor the Code. Even if your roommates, frat brothers or sorority sisters have the best intentions and totally intend to give you your sexy-time space, they aren’t psychic, so if you don’t want anyone busting through the door while you’re practicing the Kama Sutra with your lab partner, you’ll need to create a system. Don’t put a sock on your doorknob – too many people know about the whole sock thing, which means half the people who walk past your door will know what you’re doing inside. Kind of defeats the purpose, don’t you think?
Instead, have a secret code word that you write on your door’s whiteboard, something like “studying.” Everyone else will think you’re hard at work, but only your roomie will know exactly what, or rather who, you’re working on.
If your sex life is already in secret-agent mode, we salute you, but we’re guessing not everyone on your floor is as slick as you are. So we’re giving you our full permission to fold up this article and slip it under any door. If you don’t do it for that girl in 313, do it for her roommate who’s walked in on so many disturbing sex acts that she now goes to campus counseling three times a week.
And if you want to reward yourself for your ninja-like sex skills, head over to Lelo Toys, check out the Lelo Siri and treat yourself to something nice. You deserve it, you undercover sex god, you.