What Crack Does to Beauty
At what point do the illegal antics of a previously hot woman, like Lindsay Lohan, detract so potently from her hotness that we gentlemen can safely deem her “no longer hot?” It’s a question we’ve had for a long time. Normally age and weight are the culprits, but better men consider factors like intelligence and personality.
It’s a question that’s been levied against Lindsay Lohan. She certainly isn’t lacking in personality, with crimes against hotness like being totally broke-Charlie Sheen cut Lohan a slick $100,000 to pay her taxes- and violating her probation with the attempted theft of $100,000 in expensive jewelry in 2011- maybe she just wanted to pay her taxes with them- but what else has our dear Lindsay Lohan done to deserve the downgrade?
Okay, okay, so a man determined to strip the hotness crown off our dear daughter of Hollywood’s sweet little head might point out that she probably smokes crack. Sure, fair enough. She was just ordered Monday to 90 days in a “locked down” rehab facility for violating her probation.
He might also point out that she clearly can’t drive. Remember her June 2012 crash into the back of an 18 wheeler? She successfully avoided jail Monday by pleading no contest to misdemeanor reckless driving and providing false information to police. In addition to her 90 days in rehab, she must also spend 18 months in psychotherapy and serve 30 days of community service.
But what about Lindsay Lohan’s accomplishments? This is the girl from “Mean Girls” and “Freaky Friday,” two Hollywood smash dunks! We grew up with her in “Parent Trap.”
Surely, she isn’t totally washed up. These days, the time she’s not spending in rehab has been with Playboy. She did a full spread, for $1,000,000 we might add, for the January-February 2012 issue of the popular adult magazine. Somehow, she’s already blown through all that money. Maybe it’s the crack (that she probably smokes- let’s be real.)
And hey, she is proudly appearing on her buddy, Charlie Sheen’s Fox sitcom “Anger Management” next week, right before she ships off to rehab in New York! They might not be the blockbuster deals of her past, but I guess you can’t say isn’t employed, right?
Now it’s your turn. What do you think of Ms. Lohan? Hot or not?