Newsflash: You’re not the only one
Just when you thought adolescence was gone for good and that you, as a college student, were now and forever an adult who gets to enjoy all the benefits of adulthood, something tough and hard to handle might happen that throws you right back into adolescence.
You’re so happy that high school is over. The problem is, you’re coming to believe that you’re the only virgin on campus. It seems like the new group of friends that you met have all had sex. They lost their virginity in high school or they lost their virginity during the summer. All the confidence and swagger you had when you left for college is now disappearing.
First off, you’re not the only virgin. David Wygant, internationally renowned dating and relationship coach, author and speaker, was a virgin when he went to college and recalls the memory. “I thought I was the only one on campus too. I remember buying 36 condoms — 36! I figured I’d be banging my brains out within the first week, because they were no longer high school girls; they were college girls, and college girls are always banging 24/7, right? My early days in college, I was that guy in the corner wondering if I was going to get laid.”
So you’re a virgin — who cares? You’re definitely not the only one on campus. “I can guarantee that because I’ve been coaching thousands of guys for years in boot camps, and I know guys way older than you who are virgins,” Wygant writes on his blog.
Whether it happens in your first semester or on your first night of marriage years from now, it’ll happen eventually, and when it does, it’s going to be quick, it’s going to be embarrassing and it’s going to become a great story. So don’t attach too much stigma to being a virgin. Go out there and start meeting people. From there, just let things happen as they may.
Get rid of the mind-set that you’re the only virgin in college — you’re not. “When your peers are talking about their sexual experiences, just be quiet. Smile, and say you know exactly how that feels. You don’t need anybody else knowing your business,” Wygant says. It’s going to be a fun, exciting night when you finally lose your virginity, whenever or however that may be. Keep the pressure off, wait for the right time and remember to be safe. That feeling of adult adolescence will pass, and with this milestone out of the way, you’ll realize that you’ve got way more important things to worry about.