I’m a Creative Writing major at the University of Illinois at Chicago, which does not have a journalism program.
My (and your) response to that: WHUCK?!
But it’s okay. Almost as much as I love to report world events to you, I love to write fiction stories that normally entail someone getting lost somewhere. And a lot of the time, I get my writing inspiration from music; Royksopp, Radiohead, Air, Regina Spektor. To me, music completes everything.
On the side of writing, I play piano, sing and write music.
And do impressions. My mockery inspirations range from Kristen Wiig’s "Penelope," to high school classmates, to Bill Hader’s eyebrows, to 1940s film actor voices. One of my favorite impressions is a kid in my high school senior year trigonometry class who didn’t seem to understand much of the concept. But he, nevertheless, would constantly utter the word, “Troo,” while the teacher was explaining an equation.
A lot of the time, I just like to ridicule my own existence. I like to add a Southern twang while speaking Turkish or French; every Turk I’ve met has told me I have a very noticeable accent, and that my sister’s is...well...less blemished. And I enjoy acting like a Sim with her and fellow “ The Sims” players. Sool sool if you’re reading this!
Speaking of Sims, my traumatic experiences with The Grim Reaper taught me how to really take care of myself.
I recently do not like people who are too mysterious. The movie, Drive –which I give a 70% - taught me to stay away from attractive people, who stare at you for extensive periods of time with doughy eyes.
I admire quirky people like Kristen Wiig – one of my greatest idols – who are unafraid to make themselves appear ugly or “Target Lady” to make other people laugh. I like to think that my insignificantly pathetic moments serve just that purpose.
There’s a “pAAHsitive” spin!
A song of the perfect, plastic marriage is sung by Kimbra in “Settle Down,” where a man’s nightmare is brought to life, and a woman’s biggest fear is addressed. Let her shelves swarming with burning porcelain dolls haunt you in this story of a little girl’s dream future. As Mr. Right goes off to work, Mrs. Tight does her duty as the perfect wife. But is she really making him happy enough? Or is she simply a “wife?” Perfect hair, perfect skin, and the perfect frilly dress are what compose the perfect housewife. The “boom-booms” and syncopated tune that Kimbra emits define the unpredictability that marriage is, while also translating to her listeners the perfect rhythm that the perfect wife creates. Kimbra’s unfailing high notes communicate the struggle a woman undergoes in the chase of marriage.
Now veer away from the fear and join Santigold in the new single “Big Mouth,” dancing through a summer safari. Her quiet mumbles guide you through the rainy jungle, the grass poking up to your ears. Sneak through the bamboo and allow your combat boots to unlace as you glide through the effortless breeze. Listen for the low bass as the ground shakes, signaling what your next move should be. Life is short, so rush through the shrubbery and wear your best gear to face your future. Don’t let the bazookas beat you.
Bring your attention to the soft xylophonic tings of Fiona Apple’s new single, “Every Single Night.” Her safari-like calls mark her desperation for change of the soul. Apple’s usual high, yet downtrodden notes come back in this much-needed single. The bass cello’s hush indicates the discreet approach of her comeback, not only in the industry, but also out of revenge for a certain person. He better run as fast as he can, because Apple has some passivity to crush, and this song cannot wait to feel his end.
AIR stays true to their ominous piano progressions that lead one into another dimension of darkness, filled with sparkling lights and stars in their new single, “Seven Stars (ft. Victoria Legrand).” The new album will have you wondering exactly where you are. Jupiter? Mars? The end is near, as predicted by the oracles that are the melody and motifs of this song. Distant whistling immerses you in the darkness of the sky beneath your feet. In a ballroom where daytime does not exist, you bound across the galaxies beneath you, and finally your feet fail you. You have counted down to a minute stuck between darkness, and the stars that only moments ago, you were gliding across. You are finally given hope, when you realize no return to reality and no decorum is required of you.
Glide your way into Jupiter’s open arms and suffocate in a blissful collapsing of stars. Prepare never to catch a true glimpse of them, as they fade into dust as soon as they are close enough for the naked mind to see, with “Signs of Waking” by Apparatjik.
Continue through the endless rays of white and pink glistening specks, and meet your guidance with The Big Pink’s “Future This.” Watch a blast of water come down in front of you, like Niagara, uncontrollable in its powerful vertical blue blasts. Let the reverberating vocals resemble the shooting stars that whiz past you, as your invincibility lets you dodge every ray you meet. Sprint without the need to gasp for air and let your confidence guide you past the daunting green figures you cannot name. Time does not exist, so escape the chase for self-redemption and move ahead of the troubles of now.
Do what you desire upon hearing the Middle-Eastern/Asian mash-up with the sitar featured in Michael Menert’s (yes, of Pretty Lights) “Sun/Shadow.” Listening to this combination of electronic and world music will have you feeling numb toward the temperamental Chicago winds thrashing your hair out of control while on your way to class. Its sudden switches from an arcade sound to its new age beat will have you on – yet again – an exotic adventure. Let this cultural combo take you on another journey, with the assistance of the feminine, wispy vocals that accompany this funky beat. The dissonance and spontaneity of this sound will keep you on the edge of your seat, as it falls into a sudden abyss filled simply by some synthesized bass, only to pick itself back up into the robotic and female vocals; these will send you into a blissful confusion.
Now to take a soothing break from the eclectic electric, bounce back into some jazzy/bluesy roots with Leonard Cohen’s “Darkness,” which laments an unforgettable and unpredictable youth. This beautiful bewailing translates through Cohen’s poetic regret for his self-allowance to be taken by seduction; he helplessly describes a fall into an unremitting darkness – one that cannot possibly be sensed by she who drew dark clouds over his suddenly foolish head. The periodic tinges of high piano octaves are tiny hints of approaching revenge, balancing with his low vocals.
Another sound of lamenting for loss – or possibly even victory of new prospects – is delivered by “Tonight the World is Always Ending” by The Jane Bradfords. Pitching their song with a slow, and gradual start drags us into another poem of imagination. Spark your imagination with the choir chords that glide like the aforementioned wisps of Chicago’s honest winds.
Lazer lights strike like sweet singing vultures in “All The Rowboats,” pecking at your head when the sound of drums accompany Regina Spektor’s synthesized key tones. Her fingers glide across the black and white storm, whose voice reverberates like candy turning to ferocious waves on the Pacific. Float across the tumult to the gentle forte stomps Spektor conducts to frighten you of the stagnation that accompanies the beauty in a gold-framed Victorian piece. The bass pounds a rush that exhibits the perfect entrapment in a pretty case, only to be viewed by a price. Do not let your fear take you over as the semester nears finals. Run with the rhythm that Spektor creates and move forward from your usual customs.
Once the semester has ended, join Jack Penate’s sailing amidst calm waters while listening to “Pull My Heart Away.” His lament of stagnation, much like that of Spektor’s, is celebratory of a forthcoming event – one that entails no obligations in an emotional relationship with another. The summer should bring new enterprises, and a pathway to your passion. Focus on you and no one else – and shout about it.
All biases thrown aside, plink the record onto the table turner as your sudden pump of blood has you yearning to commemorate with Music Go Music’s “Light of Love.” The electric piano fulfills the needy role of a constant race, after meeting eyes with a blue ocean full of hope, and a flight to far galaxies from this one. The keys cease to give up just as she does on him.
Whoa, oh, oh. Where did the worrisome lettered flags go?