We’ve all thought about it from time to time in our online lives. But few of us will actually admit to it, and even fewer of us will do it in real life. I’m referring, of course, to ‘unfriending’ – cutting ties with a friend, acquaintance or ex.

Sure, we don’t unfriend people just out of the blue. But unfriending can be a difficult to do to someone with whom you were once so close. And it can be even harder when you are forced to do it in your offline life, where you are required to do more than simply just click a button.

As much as we hate to think about it, sometimes relationships – whether they are friendships, acquaintances or something more romantically inclined – must come to an end. If one or both of you would be happier and healthier by cutting ties, then it’s high time for some unfriending. Pay special attention to the following guidelines for cutting ties.

You avoid them at all costs.

Perhaps this is a bit obvious but if you find yourself rejecting phone calls left and right and ducking behind fixtures at the supermarket just to avoid someone – especially a former flame – you should probably go ahead and take the big step of unfriending them.

You might be tempted stay acquaintances to prevent bad blood and hurt feelings. But by being honest and admitting that your life, career and interests are leading you down a different path will definitely ease your mind and silence your cell phone.

They only talk to you when they want something.

Moochers are everywhere, and exes can be some of the worst offenders. I helped a crush get through a bad break-up once when he mysteriously started avoiding me. He constantly ignored my emails, and whenever I tried to catch up with him on IM he would quickly logout. The only time he tried to talk to me was when he needed a reference for a job.

It can be hard to come to terms with the fact that someone is using you–something I clearly know from experience. But if you notice that certain someone starts ignoring your emails, calls and texts only to contact you when they have a favor to ask, you should take the initiative and call it quits.

You might think that you are just being a good friend, but if the recipient isn’t appreciative or returning the favor it’s time for them to learn how to get by on their own.

They haven’t sent you a friend request.

Though it may seem childish, if your friend has a social networking account and hasn’t befriended you or followed you, that should raise a few red flags. Obviously, if this person isn’t online much, or has lost interest in the aforementioned account, then you should use your own discretion.

If, however, they are an active member and have yet to acknowledge you or befriend you, it generally means they have something to hide and are trying to keep their distance. If they don’t want you to see the things that they allow their online friends to see, maybe you should take the unfriending to the next level.

Their behavior is out of control.

I once had an ex who led a self-destructive lifestyle, and loved to try to get me involved in it. I had to step back and evaluate where I wanted to be and how I wanted others to perceive me in order to find the courage to unfriend him. I’ve never regretted my decision. When a relationship reaches the point where a friend’s actions are actually hurting you – be it psychologically, physically or emotionally – an unfriending is definitely in order.

“I still want to be friends” isn’t working out.

Ending a relationship with your significant other is difficult to begin with, so it’s not uncommon for former couples to try the “let’s stay friends” approach. Unfortunately, it usually doesn’t work out.

It usually goes wrong in one of two ways. One scenario involves the couple finding themselves in an odd relationship somewhere between ‘just friends’ and ‘couple.’ If a relationship ends, but leaves the possibility of it being rekindled open, it can hurt and confuse those involved.

It’s difficult to suppress feelings and being in a complicated state like this doesn’t help the healing process. If you can’t find ‘just friends’ territory with your ex it might be a good idea to walk away from them all together.

The other option is the polar opposite of the previous scenario.

Instead of being too flirty and friendly with one another, the former couple seems bent on being better than one another. They remain on pretty good speaking terms, but they do all they can to passive-aggressively get back at the other.

You see this most often online when someone – usually a teenage girl – quotes or references specific lyrics or a specific movie quote that indirectly insults their ex, or when one tries outdoing the other by uploading an unusually large number of flirty and risqué photos involving basically anyone who is of the opposite sex.

Each is hell-bent on convincing the other they that are fine just being ‘friends’, but their actions suggest otherwise. Not only is this competitive attitude annoying, it’s also unhealthy. If you’re being belittled by your ‘friendly’ ex it’s time for some closure.

Oh, AskMen.com, you never fail to simultaneously offend and entertain us.

The men’s advice site claims to help educate and entertain its 10 million monthly readers. While I don’t think that it helped me—aside from providing me a topic about which to write—it certainly did “educate” and “entertain” me.

The article that entertained me the most was this gem: Top 10 Ways to Attract Hot Women.

I’m not sure whether or not I’m breaking some code by reading it (because I’m not sure whether I qualify as a “hot” woman or a “regular” woman), but I felt I owed it to ladies and guys everywhere to see whether the advice this site doles out is actually worth anything.

Turns out, it’s not.

In response, I have decided to help and educate the poor, confused, lonely men at AskMen, and perhaps correct their ridiculous list. If you are one of AskMen’s 10 million monthly readers you should probably pay attention too. Maybe you’ll be able to see why this list has only gotten three Diggs and nine retweets.

AskMen’s Top 10 Ways to Attract Hot Women:

10 - Get a track record:

According to AskMen, women are incredibly competitive, and hot women are far more competitive than “regular” women. (Their words, not mine). So how do you attract the attention of a hot woman? Date a bunch of women at the same time, of course! She won’t be able to resist the challenge of trying to win your affections!

Our Take:

Although it’s refreshing to find such an unabashedly close-minded attitude towards women on the Web, I have to step in and say that dating a bunch of women at once while trying to win the affections of one woman in particular will, more than likely, result in a disinterested woman.

Sure, humans, not just women, are competitive by nature, but having a bunch of girlfriends will just result in the “hot” one losing interest. She’ll either think you’re taken and, thus, out of reach, or she’ll think you’re a player and will avoid you at all costs. The women I know, including myself, will automatically lose interest if you have a track record.

9 - Be a man of mystery

AskMen asserts that the quickest way to cause a woman to lose interest in you is to let her know too much about you too early on. Being mysterious and keeping parts of your life and yourself hidden will ensure that she will stay interested. “She’ll be way more impressed (and new sparks of attraction will fly) when she ‘discovers’ them on her own.”

Our Take:

As much as it pains me to say it, the contributor is on to something with this tip.

There is something attractive about a guy who is a bit mysterious. That said, there is also something attractive about a guy who is willing to share himself and parts of his life with a woman. Sharing stories, experiences and interests are a sure way to make a connection.

The site argues that if you share too much it “may also prove to her that you’re not the kind of man she wants to be with.” Yes, that is a definite possibility. But, if you’re not compatible, wouldn’t you rather find out early on? Unless you’re only interested in having a hot chick as arm candy, as this contributor seems to be, then being a “man of mystery” probably isn’t the best approach to take.

8 - Prove you’re a gentleman:

This tip hearkens back to a simpler time, when guys always held open doors for women and pulled out their chairs for them. Sure, it may come across as old-fashioned or corny, but making little gestures like this will “set you apart from 99% of other guys.”

Our Take:

Once again, I find it hard to argue with this tip. I’m a firm believer that chivalry isn’t dead,—it’s just been hiding because it thinks women like jackasses. The truth is politeness and manners go a long way.

Making a chivalric gesture, like giving her your jacket when it’s chilly, goes a long way when it comes to making an impression. As long as you are sincere, and not trying to just do the bare minimum, being a gentlemen will undoubtedly prove you aren’t like the other guys she’s known.

7 - Don’t be a creep:

For AskMen, being a creep involves becoming possessive or even obsessive about a woman. Flipping out because she didn’t text you back or because you think she’s looking at other guys is undeniably creepy and something that “hot women are constantly dodging.”

To ensure that you don’t act lie a creep, act as though “you’re too busy to care” and “when you lie back and stay cool, she’ll assume you’re busy with other women.” Surely that will make you the opposite of a creep, right?

Our Take:

Let me see if I understand. In order to not be a creep you should act like your too busy to notice what she does and lead her to assume that you’re busy with other women. Huh.

AskMen and I must have differing definitions on what a “creep” is, because that advice sounds exactly like something a creep would do. It’s true that freaking out over missed texts and wandering eyes can comes off as possessive and obsessive, but the solution is not to act like you’re too busy with other women to care—if anything, that will only increase your creepiness. If you don’t want to be a creep, then don’t follow AskMen’s advice.

6 - Be a man with a plan:

A sure way to impress? Plan everything out in advance and don’t let her have any input! Rather than discussing where you should go, what you should do and what time you should meet, decide it ahead of time and then tell her what you’ll be doing. “Let her be blown away by the way you’ve planned for every possible contingency and have taken care of every little detail.”

Our Take:

I love the AskMen assumption that women can’t make decisions and that we need a man to give us some direction. Although it can be exciting and romantic to have an extravagant date planned out ahead of time, it could also frighten and annoy your love interest.

What if she doesn’t want to see the movie you want to see, or eat at the restaurant you like? Not only will that put a damper on the evening, it could also make her feel like her opinion isn’t wanted or important.

Save the elaborately planned dates for later on in the relationship when you both have a better understanding of the other’s interests and after you’ve proven that you do care about her opinion and what she wants to do.

5 - Get creative:

Women, especially “hot” women, are used to the dinner and a movie date night. Sure it can be fun, but it’s also been done to death. Getting creative with your dates will ensure that she stays interested and excited to go out with you.

Our Take:

I have no complaints with this tip because it’s absolutely true. Creativity goes a long way, not only in terms of how you spend your time together, but also in terms of how you approach a woman to begin with.

Using the same old pickup lines and the same old introductions can make a woman lose interest immediately. You won’t stand out in the sea of faces around her; in fact, you might just solidify your “creep” status. Finding a new way to approach a woman will definitely pique her interest.

4 - Make her work for it:

You don’t appreciate what you don’t work for, so to make a woman appreciate you make her work for your time. In fact, “be unpredictable and a bit hard to please” because “[t]he more work she puts in, the more she’ll ‘want it.’”

Our Take:

I also love AskMen’s attitude that being a jerk will make your woman appreciate you. It seems to me that we are, once again, getting dangerously close to “creep” territory. It’s one thing to be nice and helpful, and it’s another to be used.

If you get the impression that a woman is only keeping you around because you’ll do things for her, then you should definitely plan your escape. But if you have a healthy relationship of give and take, then don’t screw it up by being difficult and hard to please. Making her “work for it” will either give the woman the impression that you are using her or it will lead her to believe that you are toying with her.

3 - Go for it:

Don’t be afraid to make the first move. Being confident and assertive will impress her and “it’ll prove to her that you’re the type of confident, powerful man she’s looking for.”

Our Take:

Although we live in a world where men and women are equal partners in relationships, there are a few concepts that refuse to die. One of the major ones is that the guy always makes the first move, and this is one you should definitely embrace and employ. If you act aloof and hesitate it will cause her to lose interest, doubt your intentions and, in the end, just make it more difficult for you to make any move. This is a tip that AskMen got right.

2 - Keep her guessing:

“One of the biggest mistakes men make to blow it with hot women is being completely predictable.” Solution? Be unpredictable! For instance, “[d]on’t always call when you say you will.” It will drive her crazy and keep her attentive.

Our Take:

Every time AskMen impresses me with a tip, they immediately lose me again. Isn’t being unpredictable typically considered to be a negative trait? Here’s the honest truth guys, although women like spontaneity and keeping things fresh, they hate men who don’t follow through.

If you promise to call and then don’t you’ll only give the impression that you’re either a flake or a jerk. Why plant seeds of distrust when there is no reason to?

1 - Don’t be desperate: “

The best way to lose [a hot woman] is to get possessive and desperate and start calling her 10 times a day.” If you get clingy, you will no doubt lose her.

Our Take:

And once again AskMen gives some good advice, the best way to frighten a woman is to get clingy and possessive. But, in your efforts to not be clingy, make sure that you don’t go too far in the other direction and become distant. If you give the impression that you don’t care what she does or where she is then she’s sure to move on to someone else.

What do you think? Are you one of AskMen’s regular readers who lives by their words of (ahem) wisdom? Does AskMen have it completely wrong? Share your thoughts with us!

Let’s face it: Dating on campus can be kind of a hassle.

Campuses are either too small, leaving you option-less in the love department, or they’re too large, effectively turning most of the student body into just a faceless blob.

There are tons of advice columns that list the best places and strategies for meeting the man or woman of your dreams, but I’ve taken it upon myself to help you avoid the lovers who will only drive you insane. Avoid these campus crazies, and your love life will undoubtedly improve.

The frat brat

He lives for keggers, intercollegiate sports and spring break. Oh and chicks, man. His friends love to make crude jokes and semi-sexist jokes and, in his eyes, the worse the joke is, the funnier it becomes.

Sure, everyone is naturally attracted to the life of the party but that attitude will not get him very far, it probably won’t even get him out of college. His mantra is “party, sleep, drink, repeat,” and unless that’s your idea of a good time, chances are he will lose his “charm” in only a matter of days.

The tortured artiste

This is the art major gone wrong. They hate the art department’s “conformist” attitude and, because they haven’t gotten any department awards, they’re certain that no one understands them or their unique point of view.

They get angry at other students for taking the “simplistic” route and ultimately wind up being pretty snobbish. Sure, they might be misunderstood, but who isn’t misunderstood to some degree? Their negative and cynical attitude is enough to kill any good feeling, and that’s reason enough to pass them by.

The profile princess

She’s eager to friend everyone she meets on Facebook, only to keep them constantly updated on what’s going on in her dorm—Whether it’s in the form of continuous status updates – “Katy is singing her heart out in her room!!!!!!” – or in the form of taking photos of herself every day. (In the same three poses, natch).

She might have a nice personality, but her constant tweeting and mobile uploads will soon cause you to go crazy. And, let’s be honest, any relationship where all of Facebook knows you’re in a relationship before you do is simply a recipe for disaster.

The final examer

I’m of course referring to that mysterious body in the classroom, who only seems to show up two times a year: the first day of class and the final exam.

In fact, they’re so removed from the crowd that no one is sure what year they are or where they even live. Sure, a sense of mystery can be alluring.

But if they can’t be bothered to show up to class when they are ostensibly paying for it themselves, then what would keep them from doing the same to you and your dates?  You might as well play it safe and keep your distance from this one.

The master debater

Things are bound to end badly when you get involved with the most obsessive member of the debate team. Sure they’re witty and quick on the draw, but minor disagreements are bound to erupt into full-blown battles, even when it’s just simply a matter of different opinions. So, unless you enjoy the thought of dinner, a movie and disputing over who was the better Batman, do yourself a favor and keep looking.

I found myself in a familiar spot this past weekend. Over the last month, I had been hanging out with a girlfriend who I broke up with at the end of May. We were back together, but not in the official capacity and I was loving it.

I don’t know why, but things were working out great. Dinners were more enjoyable, cuddling was better and the sex was great. Little did I know ...

Apparently, she was having a tough time with the arrangement and she wanted more security. So, she very plainly told me that she wanted to start dating again. If we could not, then she could no longer see me.

Turns out some other guy caught her fancy. She would rather date me than date the other guy, but she would rather date the other guy than just see me. Still following?

I almost blurted, “OK, let’s get back together,” but I caught myself before those utterances could be vocalized.

You see, a similar situation happened to me a few years back. Let me set the scene.

My high school girlfriend and I broke up before we went to college. It was mutual. We didn’t want to do the long-distance deal.

Well, long story short, by the next weekend she ended up making out with one my best friends. A few days later, since we were in love, perfect for each other, gonna have kids together, going to die in each other’s arms (“Notebook” status, what up) and have cheesy romance novels written about us, she decided to fly across the coast to make amends.

Amends turned into a weekend of rekindling our romance. We went out to an A’s game and ate every meal together. I was on the receiving end of a tug job in the shower. (That would be the 6th floor of Bowles if any of the my freshman dorm mates are reading this). All in all, a pretty solid weekend—except that the A’s lost in the latter innings of the game.

Eventually, Sunday came around and I found myself with her at the Oakland airport getting ready to say goodbye. She began to cry, and a sense of sadness started to swell up in me as well.

In this whirlpool of emotion, I got a bit caught up. It was then that I made the ill-fated decision to ask her to be my girlfriend again. She happily agreed.

By the time I was walking out of the airport, I was already regretting my decision.

It took me a couple years to figure out why I made that choice, which went completely against my principles. I knew that she wronged me and didn’t deserve to be my girlfriend again, but I relented.

What was it then? Eventually, I realized that it was my ego.

For a lot of guys, having a girlfriend is an ego-trip. It means that she chose to be with you, and only you. It means that you beat out all the other guys for her attention.

No way was I going to let her go back east and have her hook up with anyone else, let alone a former close friend.

And that’s exactly where I found myself on Saturday. All of a sudden, I was in a two-horse race and the other dude was breathing down my neck. I just had to say a couple quick sentences, and then I established myself as the alpha dog.

That’s when I realized that I would once again be getting back in a relationship for the wrong reason. I would be doing it mainly to satisfy my ego. By going the exclusive route, I would be doing both of us wrong.

Male, female, we are all guilty for basing important relationship decisions on pride. Next time you find yourself in such a situation, slow down and ask yourself: Would I be making this decision in a social vacuum? If I didn’t feel the need to prove anything, would I be making the same choice?

That’s the question I asked myself. And the ultimate answer was no.

Human conditioning requires us to say “I love you.” For whatever reason, it gives us a sense of comfort to say those words and hear them in return.

There are so many directions that you can go with a column about “I love you.” How long should you wait to say it? How often should you say it? Should you even say it?

Today we’re going to settle on this one: What does it mean?

Let’s jump in the DeLorean here and go back to my first relationship. That would be senior year of high school with a girl who will be dubbed “Breena.”

She was my first kiss, first girlfriend, first sexual partner and first handjob giver. (Yes, as much as I hate handjobs, I have received them in the past). A lot of firsts if you ask me. With all those firsts adding up, “I love you” was bound to be right around the corner.

We started saying “I love you” two months into our relationship. We really thought we were in love too. So in love that they could make a movie about how cute we were.

We thought we were perfect for each other. We talked about how we were going to get married. We talked about how we were going to have kids and what those kids were going to do growing up. When I look back on those memories, I’m slightly embarrassed by my naivete, but hey, it’s high school.

I’m not exactly sure when, but, some time in the second act of our blossoming romance, we had a discussion of what “I love you” means.

We came to a mutual agreement that loving someone means that you care about that person so much, you would put your own well-being on the line for them. At one point we even said that we would die for one another. (I swear, we were talking to studio execs about lining up a deal.) If hating someone means you want him/her dead, then loving someone means that you would die for him/her.

Today, when I think about that definition, it seems a bit strong. OK, way too strong. I would like to think that only a handful of people are as crazy as I was back then, but I’m sure that’s not the case.

Loving someone does not mean you need to be willing to throw yourself over some railroad tracks. You can love someone and not set-up some extreme standard that you must meet to say it.

Loving someone can be as simple as caring for their well-being instead of saying that you would be willing to sacrifice your own well-being.

Why do we have to go through such extremes to qualify how much you care for someone?

If I had to answer that question, I would say that people feel the need to qualify the specific emotions they feel for someone to such a high degree so that they feel that the love is greater than what 99 percent of other people are feeling out there.

And, if you’ve had your first love, and gotten over it, you know that isn’t the case.

So keep saying those three magical words. Just don’t hold it to a higher standard for the sake of proving your devotion.

Thank you, Jezebel, for making us laugh at goofy and pathetic pick-up lines. Again.

The popular sex, fashion and celebrity site announced a contest for the worst pick-up line you’ve ever heard offering sexy goodies as the top prize.

Although I’m refraining from throwing my hat into the metaphorical ring, the contest got me reminiscing about some of the stinkers I’ve heard—some of which I wish I didn’t remember.

When I was in high school and college, I worked at a rather small party/convenience store. It was out in the country so it was often a popular destination for anyone needing smokes, gas or pop who didn’t want to drive into town. It had its share of regulars and, since the employees were mostly young women—smart choice on my boss’ part—we heard it all. Especially when our shifts coincided with some holiday or event or party that drove people in search of alcohol...or condoms.

I once had a guy try to put a spin on the old ‘Is heaven missing an angel?’ line by asking, “Is your middle name ‘Angel’? Because you look like one.” Although I admired his creativity—or maybe it was his drunkenness—I politely declined and sent him on his way.

I also had a guy, as I was ringing up his purchase, try to make a move by saying, “I like your eyebrows. They’re dark.” It was all I could do to get through the transaction without doubling over with laughter.

There was also an incident with a young guy I knew on a first name basis. He was cute, but he wasn’t very bright and, in his attempt to win me over, pointed at my chest and said, “I’ve never seen one of those before.” I still choose to believe that he was referring only to my Yoshi t-shirt.

Now that I’ve joined the wonderful world of social networking, I’ve gotten far weirder and lamer pick-ups lines sent my way, one of which involved a guy referring to me as “future wife”. He must have been a student of the “if you say it, you can attain it” school of thought. Needless to say, he found himself blocked rather quickly.

But enough about me; what about you? What is the worst pick-up line you’ve ever heard someone use seriously? Did it turn you off or did it charm you into a date? And if you’re interested hop on over to Jezebel’s contest page and submit it!

I’m big on texting. Possibly too much. OK, fine, too much. I haven’t gotten to the point where I ignore my friends at dinner (ahem, you know who I’m talking about), but I’m pretty close to it.

Blackberry Messenger? Yeah, that was made for me. I’m on-track to get carpal tunnel by the time the 2010 NBA free agent shopping spree finally starts. (Wait, is it already July 1, 2010? It’s about time we got this over with. Too much foreplay can be a bad thing.)

But even an avid text messenger like me gets stressed out when it comes to texting a girl who I’m interested in. I spend several minutes—OK, OK, fine—more like half an hour crafting what I want to say. Then I finally type it out.

Whereas most people would quickly check it over, I make sure to go through it with a fine-toothed comb several times. I ain’t trying to have her think I’m illiterate.

If I send out a message and don’t get a response within five minutes, I start freaking out and then develop all these wild scenarios to explain what must be happening.

“Maybe she didn’t get it? I had weak reception in the area. Maybe I should send it again. But what if I send it again and then she already got the first message so she gets both of my messages back-to-back? That would just come off as really creepy.”

“What if she’s not responding because I said something wrong in the message. Did I come on too strong? I definitely shouldn’t have said that one-liner in there — sarcasm never comes out quite right in text messages.”

“Oh she’s probably in the shower. Girls and their showers. ... (after another 20 minutes) ... Finally it’s beeping. I wonder what she said. God dammit it’s only Mark.”

Take a deep breath, my friend. All of this hypothesizing can drive a man crazy. You’re not too crazy, though. These fears are completely natural. Rest assured, most of it will solve itself over time.

The best thing you can do is put your phone on vibrate and put it in your pocket. Resist the temptation to go into your sent message folder to glance over what you wrote.

A lot of girls enjoy playing the waiting game. You might have crafted the perfect 146-character message and she might be very interested for that matter, but she’s in no rush to reply.

Many girls just don’t want to seem too available. You’re going to have to work a little to get her attention. Did you really think she was going to come crawling into your bedroom on all fours?

Letting an hour or two pass before responding is a way of maintaining an air of mystique, and thus have control over whatever relationship might be budding.

So let’s fast-forward now. After hanging out in limbo she finally sends you the response you were hoping for. Now what? You waited two and half hours to get this text. Should you watch Braveheart and then respond or should you start typing back right away?

While it might not be the best idea to immediately shoot back a response, you shouldn’t wait too long. By responding within 15-30 minutes or so, you show that you’re interested, and well, that’s the point isn’t it?

Don’t be too concerned if she takes another hour to respond. For all you know, she’s playing games. (If the girl has a Blackberry this could literally mean that she is playing Brickbreaker and will respond to you after she loses).

Text messaging provide us with a simple way of communicating with someone in a very relaxed setting. It doesn’t turn awkward the moment a few seconds of silence pass like on a phone call.

Just remind yourself to not continuously read between the lines. You’ll cause yourself more grief than it’s worth.

So you’ve been going to the same bar every weekend for the past 3 months, and it’s not because of the great food they serve. You just can’t seem to stop eyeing that hot bartender that’s been slinging your drinks.

The problem is they’re flirting with you, but you can’t tell if it’s just for tips. Fear not: College News has some advice on how to pick up your server or bartender.

First of all, try to understand that servers and bartenders get hit on ALL THE TIME.

In fact, they get hit on so much that they might not even take the hint that you’re really into them. So instead of giving them “the eye” try instead striking up a legitimate conversation.

And by legitimate, I mean don’t ask stupid questions about her boobs, or tell him how hot he looks. Ask real questions about their lives.  Then, they’ll know you actually want to get to know them.

Don’t demand all of her attention when they’re busy. 

The restaurant/bar scene can be hectic. If your bartender is busy, try again another day. You’ll only annoy them by calling their name a hundred times.

You better tip. 

You could be as sexy as Matt Damon with the charm of John Krasinski, but if you don’t tip your server, she’s going to think you’re the biggest tool in the world.

Don’t make an idiot of yourself when you’re drunk.

If you’re legitimately trying to impress your bartender don’t drink yourself retarded. Don’t throw up all over the table. And don’t get intoxicated to the point where your friends, or the bouncers, are carrying you out the door.

Don’t be grabby.

Keep your hands to yourself! Even after you’ve had a few, don’t touch your server.  Not on the hand, not on the waist.  Keep your distance to avoid being labeled a creep.

Don’t be a tough guy. 

You might think you’re cool starting a fight with another patron, but you’re not.  Your crush is going to think you’re an idiot, and you’re going to get kicked out of the bar. You might even get arrested.  Now you’re cool…

Eventually, you’re going to just have to bone up and ask the girl out.  The worst that will happen is she’ll say she’s not interested and then you move on with your life.  But be sure to keep your dignity up until you make it to that point!

Summer fashion for women excites even the most un-savvy of dressers. For the average gal, trying out styles straight from the runway can be both exciting and bold.

But, while those vogue styles may impress your fellow girl friends, some new trends will send men the other direction. Don’t let your passion for fashion kill your love life—learn which trends to downplay while trying to snag a guy.

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga, while talented, is fashion suicide in the real world on all days except Halloween. Her outrageous outfits entertain and look amazing onstage.

However, you are not Lady Gaga and you do not have the persona or fanbase to support such awe-inspiring costumes. So don’t attempt to cover your nipples with tape, wrap yourself in plastic wrap or glue cigarettes on your glasses.

Leotards

The 80s styles making a zombie-type entrance back into women’s closets present some of the worst fashion choices in general. However, the leotard tops the list as the worst article of clothing.

“I don’t know where to start. Were you swimming? Does that thing have a flap in the back? Where is the Broadway show?” said Josh Kimmer, student, about women in leotards. “At least, if they are wearing a leotard, I can imagine they are a dancer and super flexible. Most aren’t dancers though.”

Sure, everyone can understand the convenience of never worrying about your shirt coming untucked, especially with a skirt. But you will look silly wearing one as part of an ensemble and probably even sillier once the rest of your clothes come off and you are still wearing a leotard. 

Shoes you can’t handle

Sky-high pumps are all the rage, and some girls can pull them off beautifully. That said, if you never wear heels, strapping on the five-inch gladiator pumps risks your ankles and your love life.

“I would do a lot of things on a date for a girl, but no, dancing all night and then carrying her to the car because her feet hurt is not one of them. No shoe is worth sacrificing a good time,” student Tyler Polanski emphasized.

Suffering for fashion is one thing, but letting a good time pass you by because of footwear is something not even Carrie Bradshaw would do. But, some of you are Carrie Bradshaw, so have a back up pair of function flats in your purse to switch to as the night goes on.

Big Belts

“Big Belts. Some girls just can’t pull it off,” said recent graduate Dean Rose. Giant belts dominate a small girl’s waist, sometimes making it vanish under all her fashion. On larger women, the big belt can add bulk in all the wrong places. Neither scenario attracts flirting at the bar.

Sometimes, the most flattering looks favor classic style over contemporary trends. Following fashion can be fun, but dressing in a way that will best flatter your figure will attract more favorable attention than an overbearing, but trendy, ensemble. 

An inevitable consequence of being in a long-term relationship is thinking about the future. You may only be a week into a monogamous relationship and yet already you’re wondering whether or not you see yourself waking up next to this person for the rest of your life.

Don’t worry. It’s perfectly natural to find your mind wandering into the lands of bachelor parties featuring donkey shows and classy champagne fueled bridal showers. And you’re not the only one who thinks like this — everyone does it.

Human nature causes your mind to leap into the future while your life is actually traveling at a much slower rate. Heck, I would lay a sizable bet down that most of you girls have already created a short-list for the fonts appearing on your wedding invitations.

What is important to remember, however, is that you need to prevent those thoughts from intruding too far into the relationship you have at hand. Some time after you pass the milestone of saying “I love you” you will probably find yourself talking about this envisioned future with your newly-anointed loved one. (Look for these conversations to happen as you’re lying in bed after sex while still coming down from a most euphoric state.)

You’ll probably discuss how you plan on staying together if one of you were to get a job across the country, or what your children will be when they grow up:

“Well regardless of whether it’s a boy or girl we’re going to send him to Tiger Schulmann’s for a couple years. Oh then we can’t forget about rec-soccer. That’s a prerequisite for growing up in suburbia.”

“If that’s the case and it’s a girl, then we also have to make sure she does dance early on. We don’t want her to be one of those too jock-ish girls who goes on to play varsity softball.”

In the moment, sharing these pent-up thoughts with your loved one feels great; it is reassuring to know that your special somebody is right there with you laying down bricks for this majestic fantasy world. But before you get too far into the future (this would be when you start discussing what type of dog you want), you might want to pull back the reins a bit. By focusing so much energy on hypothetical events, you tend to lose sight of what is in front of you.

You are more or less forgoing important phases of a relationship that, if neglected, will lead to the doom of your blossoming love. If your relationship is ever going to progress to the point where you find yourself standing under a huppah about to stomp on some glass, you need to first draw your attention to some minor details that are a bit more time-sensitive.

Ask yourself, what is something exciting we can do this weekend? What is something about my childhood — meaningful or not — that I haven’t shared? Why do we always hang out at night instead of seeing each other during the day?

These are the type of things you should be discussing to better your present-day relationship. Figuring out what summer camp you’re sending your kid to can wait ‘til later.

It is impossible to stop yourself from jumping into a time machine set 15 years in the future, so don’t bother. You can, however, catch yourself before it consumes both you and your relationship.

Oh and for the record, to my wife-to-be, the kids are going to one of those 8-week sleep-away camps. I’m going need a nice break from caring for those brats.

The summer sun has never felt quite so hot, especially since you can’t stop staring at your sexy co-worker from across the room.  Only one problem: You have a long distance boyfriend/girlfriend that you met on campus.

Now you can’t decide if the way you’re feeling about this new person is a simple infatuation, or actual, romantic feelings.  Even worse, you don’t know what you would do if they came onto you as well.  Well, College News has some advice on how to handle the heat, and to beat the temptation.

First of all, focus on all of the things you love about your current partner. There obviously must be a good reason that you’re still dating them, even though it’s the summer. Think of all the good times you’ve had together, and all the good times to come as soon as you get back to school. Then, really think about what you would lose out on if you cheated on them and/or broke up with them.  Would this be a decision that you would regret?

Going off of that, don’t focus on the bad things about your partner in order to justify the way you’re feeling now. If you try hard enough, of course you can convince yourself that there’s a reason you’re so attracted to this other person.  Remember that everyone has their flaws—but are your partner’s worth being blown out of proportion in your mind because you’re attracted to someone else?

The most important thing to remember is to not put yourself in vulnerable situations. Don’t go out drinking with your coworker. Don’t find yourself flirting with them at the vending machines. Don’t text them for anything other than work-related business. The more you try to stay away from them, the easier it will be to think clearly and remain loyal to your partner. 

Eventually, you’re going to really need to reconsider your feelings for your partner. If you find yourself wildly attracted to someone else, chances are something isn’t totally right in your current relationship.

Perhaps you’re so attracted to this other person because your partner lives far away and you’re lonely without them.  Or maybe you’re attracted to this person because you actually want out of your relationship.

Chances are, if you’re feeling this way consistently for over a month you might want to consider letting y our partner know that you need some time off.  It’s not fair to keep someone else stringing along if your heart isn’t totally with them. If you’re out chasing other people, you should let your partner do the same.

Warm nights, no stress, and lots of free time on your hands make falling in love in the summer easy. You plan the dates that will be the most fun and quickly slip into a romantic haze. So is your summer love the real deal, or will the relationship vanish with the warm weather? College News considers the signs that you’re in a fling.

No Future

“If I am just in a summer fling, I won’t take the time or effort to talk about my future plans with her…because I don’t care if she knows them. I keep everything focused on what we are doing now rather than later because she might not like hearing about the later where she does not exist,” said Greg Lyonette, student, when asked about short-term summer relationships.

In general, living in the moment with love is the best way to enjoy the fuzzy feelings, embrace every minute of the fling in the process.  However, if your summer lover refuses, like Lyonette, refuses to place you in his or her plans further than Friday, take it as a sign that your relationship is not built to last. 

No introduction to family or friends

A lasting relationship maintains a balance of the more fun aspects of dating and the more serious relationship elements. If the latter is left out, you should take this as a serious sign of where the relationship is heading.

“With all of the traveling I do in the summer, I am bound to see my parents five or six times. If I don’t invite a guy along or bother to introduce him throughout the summer, he is not a serious boyfriend. I can’t introduce every fling to my parents anymore!” explained Rachel Courier, student.

In other words, a family-oriented person not wanting you to be a part of such an important piece in their life should be a blaring red light that you’re in a summer fling. The same goes for introducing you to his or her friends. If you feel like you are the hidden secret in the closet, there’s a reason for that. You probably are.

Sex-centric

For new couples, playing in bed for hours at a time is nothing unusual. If all you do is meet in the sheets, however, then take it as a sign thatyour relationship ends as soon as your clothes come back on. Sex without activities beyond the bedroom signals fling in general, no seasons barred.  This is especially true if he or she never wants to go to dinner, see a movie or meet up for drinks with friends. 

Now what?

If you find yourself in one of these three scenarios, don’t panic quite yet.  The best—and smartest—way to find out if your new love is just looking for a good time or in it for the long haul is to ask. If they give you a straight answer of the fling just fun in the sun, you can choose to make your decision from there—take a chance and hope for more, or bail and find something different.  Either way, do not expect a person to have a sudden change of heart. It’s just enough to enjoy your hottie in the heat—for now.

Cheating is wrong — I don’t think many people would argue with that. It’s pretty hard to defend committing yourself to someone and then knowingly betraying his or her trust.

But what about that third party? Unless we’re talking about cheating in terms of habitual masturbation to porn, you need a third party to enable the infidelity.

This third party is presumably not attached to someone else; they have no obligation to anyone except themselves. Nevertheless, should they feel bad about the fact that they are helping to break up a relationship?

There is no clear-cut answer to this question. There are so many different caveats that would change this response. So let’s work through a few of them and see where that puts us.

For the sake of this argument, let’s assume that this outside individual knows that the person they are about to copulate with is in a relationship.

Now if this third person has a previous relationship with both parties (not a sexual one, but just on a friendly basis), this certainly muddies the issue. It is one thing to help someone cheat, but to make things personal adds an interesting sting to the situation.

I think that, if anything, it makes this third wheel guiltier in a sense. Say for instance, I was to hang out with a girl whose boyfriend I kind of knew. In addition that boyfriend knew I was hanging out with her.

Implicitly he is trusting me to not make a move on his girlfriend. So if anything was to happen between his girlfriend and me, I would be breaking his trust even though I am not in a committed relationship with him.

Sounds confusing, doesn’t it? Oh just wait, it gets worse. Much worse.

Personally speaking, I would never knowingly help someone else cheat on her partner.

I have this altruistic sense about me. I just cannot help but think how awful it would be to find out that my girlfriend cheated on me. Why would I ever want to inflict such emotional pain on anyone else?

I don’t care if your partner is just plain shitty and doesn’t really put much effort into the relationship. Do yourself a favor by breaking up with him and then go sleep with half the neighborhood.

Playing devil’s advocate to my argument, if someone is going to cheat regardless, what difference does it make if I or someone else helps her along?

That’s a pretty difficult question to answer. I guess the only thing I can offer is that if you have can have a peace of mind doing it, then go for it.

But maybe that’s not even the most important question I should be asking myself. Amidst all this confusion that arises, maybe I should be asking myself whether or not I should judge someone else who acts as that third party enabler.

I will admit that, before writing this column, I always passed a negative judgment on someone who got mixed up in another’s affairs. Through writing this piece, however, I had difficulty seeing the reasoning in my argument.

It is near impossible to attempt to create some sort of universal truth on this topic. It comes down to personal preference more than anything else. Sure there are some egregious things like sleeping with your close friend’s partner, but outside of that, where are the lines?

If I learned anything, the line is drawn wherever you want it to be drawn.

Summer is finally here, but since your parents are still paying your tuition, you’re forced to live at home with them for the next three months.  In addition to having nothing fun to do on “Wasted Wednesdays”, it’s also about that time where you have to introduce your college sweetheart to your family.

Just one problem, though: You’re family is crazy and you’re totally dreading it.  Don’t worry. College News has some tips on how to break the ice between your parents and your partner as painlessly as possible.

Remember: take it slow.

Don’t make the first meeting between your parents and your partner be on a week-long camping vacation with your grandma and your second cousins.

Instead, try just go out to a hour-long dinner and make small talk. Have them get used to each other in small doses, and keep it as normal as possible.  Don’t throw everyone into an uncomfortable situation just because you think they’ll bond faster. It will probably backfire.

Really talk up your partner.

Make sure you tell your parents all the great qualities your partner has ahead of time. Your parents are much more likely to embrace someone they think makes you happy rather than someone you fight with all the time.

And even if things aren’t totally perfect with your partner at the moment, try not to go crying to your mom about it unless you want her to have a premeditated hatred for them.

Take it easy on the inside jokes. 

Obviously, your new beau hasn’t been around long enough to know all of the inside jokes you have with your family. Chances are they aren’t going to know any of the people you bring up at dinner either.

Try sticking to conversations about general topics that everyone knows about. Better yet, have your partner talk about themselves. This way, your parents will get a better feel for their character, and you all might find you have a lot in common in other areas as well.

Avoid sibling drama.

If you can, try to introduce your parents to your partner before you introduce your siblings to them. Your brothers and your sisters are going to be more critical of your partner at first than your parents will be. 

And, if they get a bad first impression, there’s a good chance that they’re going to let that opinion be known to your parents. If you can, try to get your parents approval first. That way, they won’t have an opinion about your boyfriend/girlfriend that may not even be accurate.

As long as you aren’t dating a total psycho, there’s a good chance your parents are going to approve of your partner. They love you, and are going to be happy to meet someone who makes you happy.

But if they do happen to get a bad vibe, you should really reconsider who you’re getting involved with. Your parents have been around the block more often than you have. By now, they’ve gotten pretty good at judging people’s characters. 

I was in the car with a friend of mine, Pali, the other day, when he randomly broke the silence by saying, “You know what I really find attractive in a woman? If she can drink whiskey. I think that’s awesome. And not whiskey and coke because everyone does that, but just whiskey straight up.”

For good measure, Pali later went on to add that dark beer also gets his juices flowing.

After pondering what he said, I agreed that I am turned on by a woman who drinks her fair share. For me, it does not have to be a certain type of alcohol, but more the rate of consumption. If a girl is taking down several shots or shotgunning a beer, that turns me on.

I am not by any measure saying that I would like to date someone who is drinking habitually throughout the week, although that does sound like something I might be interested in experiencing when I hit my late-20s. But a few bouts of binge drinking here and there? Sure, why not?

Pali and I tried to pinpoint what exactly it was about the combination of women and alcohol that elicits such an emotional response. Obviously, the first thing that comes to mind is that fact that since many of our weekends consist of consuming alcohol, and it is nice to have someone on the same page as us.

When we go out at night and have a few too many, we don’t want to be judged for it; it’s nice to be foolish and be comfortable doing so.

Pali went a step further, however. He said that when he sees a girl having a straight whiskey, it means that she isn’t conforming to gender roles. Women are expected to have a mixed drink — preferably a martini, margarita or something fruity — or possibly a light beer. They have certain societal expectations. When it comes to alcohol, women usually conform to them.

Part of this can be attributed to the taste of those delectable fruit drinks, but some of it has to inevitably fall on the fact that they don’t want to look foolish ordering something out of the norm. (This is also why guys with few occasions order strawberry daiquiris. Mmm, strawberry daiquiris.)

Ordering a whiskey straight is off-putting. No one would expect a woman to order it and that’s what catches Pali’s eye. A woman who orders a whiskey, Pali insists, is likely to be confident, vivacious.

So what does this mean for a woman trying to catch the attention of a man? As cool as it sounds, let’s hold off on encouraging you all to turn into flip-cup playing, double-beer-bong-taking Amazons.

The point is that if you like doing something that would usually be attributed to the pantheon of man, then don’t be afraid to show off that side. Sure it might not be extremely appealing around your girlfriends, but around a guy you’re interested in, who knows.

I’m curious if the reverse holds true. I’ve been known to drink Smirnoff Ice, Mike’s Hard Lemonade and Malibu on many occasions. Here’s to hoping women see me as a similar crusader fighting my way through the constraints of my manhood.

(Aside: Pali wishes the author the best of luck, which he will definitely need if he is going to try to attract a woman while daintily holding a Smirnoff Ice.)

Even in the most perfect relationships, you’ll end up apologizing for something.

Whether it’s a small disagreement or large scale fight, the words “I’m sorry” rise to the top as the phrase a person most wants to shortly thereafter.

But mumbling the words while gazing at the TV dreamily won’t earn you any more points than an air ball does in basketball. Apologizing the right way the first time can ensure the end of the argument and guarantees you won’t be scratching your head weeks later thinking, “What was this fight about anyway?”

Be sincere

“A text message is not enough to prove that you are sorry for something you did further than forgetting to lock the door,” said student Sam Wisecane. A phone call is better than a text, and a face-to-face apology is better than either.  Putting the effort forth, with eye contact, shows you really believe what you are saying. While an apology is a social formality, a true effort will go a far way.

Explain why you messed up

Explaining why a problem occurred in the first place could help you get out of hot water—if you have a legitimate excuse—and shows you are open and honest.  Were you heavily flirting with a girl at the bar because you got jealous when you spotted your girlfriend chatting up her ex? Trying to find the true root of the issue can help solve the present problem, as well as prevent others in the future.

Put in extra effort

Depending on the magnitude of your slip-up, a little extra push may be needed to show you’re sorry. 

“After a big fight, my boyfriend apologized and I accepted. Yet, I was still unsure if he was saying sorry to end the fight or if he really meant it.  Later on that week at work, he sent me my favorite flowers with a note saying that he was sorry again.  The extra effort showed me he genuinely felt the importance of my feelings,” said student Rochelle Lima.

Extra effort could be as simple as stopping by before class, a note, an e-mail, or a favorite treat.  The point is, taking any extra steps to show how you feel earns you a few more points.

Do not repeat your offense

The last part of an sincere apology which comforts people the most is the promise to not do it again, whatever “it” was.  Do not continue to text his friends, over share your sex life with your girlfriends, or harass him about his outfits.

In reality, an apology means nothing if you continue the bad behavior you tried to recover from.  Take conscious effort to not play the repeat-offender role; soon your words, no matter how hard you try, will be meaningless.

Think you are still bad at apologies?  Give College News’ no-fail apology formula a whirl with your next argument:

“Baby, I am so sorry that I (insert offense here).  I never meant for (offense) to cause us to fight or upset you.  Just so you know, the reason I (offense) was because (insert cause). I see now this was not the right way to go about the situation.  I am going to work hard at never (insert offense) again, and I hope you can accept this apology.”

It’s an expression we’ve heard it thousand times before: “Opposites attract.” But how could that be true? 

Why wouldn’t we bond better with someone exactly like us?  Here are some explanations for why it might be true that we are actually more attracted to someone who isn’t totally the same as we are.

There is something alluring about someone completely different from us.

You’ve spent every second of your life with yourself. You’re old news. Dating someone who has different personality traits than you keeps your life interesting. If you’re the typical jock or prep, it might be fun to date someone more into the skater scene.  Or ask out that cute nerd. Besides, where’s the fun in doing to same old thing all the time?

Dating someone different from you can minimize your bad qualities.

Dating someone with a personality like yours can actually bring out some of your less-than-desirable personality traits.  For example, if you’re a nervous person already, then dating someone else who’s nervous all the time as well could make you even more nervous.  If you date someone more laid back and relaxed, they can help you calm down when something else gets you going.

You will have new and exciting experiences with someone different than you. 

Everyone is at least a little bit curious about what their life would be like if they were a different person. The closest way to experience this is to date someone totally different than you. Dating someone who comes from a different background can help you gain some new experiences that you wouldn’t otherwise with someone from a similar background. With that in mind ...

You can learn things from someone different than you. 

This is particularly true if you date someone from a different cultural or ethnic background. People from different cultures can have different traditions and beliefs. Should they want to share them with you, then hanging around those environments could be really educational. 

Ultimately, everyone is unique and special in their own way. And it’s hard to know why it is that you’re attracted to in someone. Just remember that it’s not necessarily a bad thing to go completely out of your boundaries and date someone different than you. There definitely are some benefits that come with it.

My single friends probably hate me by now. They have reason to.

At every opportunity possible, I try and set them up with each other.  What makes me think they could be a good match?  Perhaps they both like partying and reckless behavior, perhaps they both have broken hearts, or perhaps they both just want to have sex.  90 percent of all my set-ups have been huge fails, however, with backlash from both parties being stated in the tones of “Were you SERIOUS?!”

That said, while I haven’t given up on helping to find my friends true love, I have definitely grown smarter about setting people up.

The best set-up is no set up at all

I recently threw a party and invited friends from all areas of my life. The party definitely could have gone two ways: a boom or a bust. Lucky for me, the party boomed … and bumped.  At the end of the night, two of my friends were making out at the bar, and two others were giggling out the door home for the night.  Surprisingly, the couples which formed were not the duos I planned to create in my fantasy of the perfect set-up. Apparently, just letting people mingle works just fine.

Physical attraction matters

While I of course have the most attractive friends in the world everyone likes a different flavor of hottie.  Blonde hair and blue eyes may drive a guy wild, while another thinks brunettes are the best. Even your friends have a type—one that’s past “available”.

Commonalities must be more than tangible

Some of my biggest set-up fails came because of mistaking superficial commonalities between people with actual ones. Just because they both have the same major, like to drink, and tell hilarious jokes does not equal a love connection. The commonalities have to be further than a resume of qualities for anything meaningful to form. Otherwise, the hook-up is likely to fail.

Your friends don’t want to date your ex

Even if she is a great girl or a solid guy, no one wants seconds. The situation could potentially turn awkward and nasty at any moment. Better to avoid jealousy, and save two friendships, than try to get two people laid. 

Some people want to be single

The best catches just want to be single sometimes. No matter how many men or women you throw at them, or even how well-developed the first few interactions are, he or she is better at being alone.  The best you can—and should do—is respect his or her choice and introduce others as friends. Then, maybe in the future, something could materialize. You never know.

Stay out of the middle

If, by some chance, your friends do hit it off, do everything you can to keep their relationship theirs. Asking a lot of questions and getting a lot of information puts in you in the center of all the good news (exciting!) and all the drama (awful!).  Once a relationship materializes, stop being a liaison of information—lock up all the details if and when they tell you. 

That was a mistake — now what?

If an entire set up bombs, the best you can do is to laugh it off between parties.  A simple, “Sorry! I was just trying!” and a couple of apologies about each party will smooth things over until time can take its course. Accept it — dating is awkward

I found myself watching “The Marriage Ref” a few days ago with a handful of friends. If you haven’t checked it out yet, it’s worth a look.

The concept behind Jerry Seinfeld’s brainchild is to film a couple’s marital problems. The problem always divides the couple into opposing sides. The panel of celebrity judges on “The Marriage Ref” is then asked to choose sides.

The episode I watched featured Matthew Broderick, Martin Short and Sarah Silverman as the refs. One of the cases these refs had to make a ruling on was whether or not a wife should be allowed to maintain her friendship with a man in spite of her husband’s request to stop seeing him.

The wife and her friend would meet up for lunch dates, catch a movie and do things that friends would normally do. Throughout all of this outings, her friend never made an advance on her.

Nevertheless, her husband disapproved of the relationship; he felt uncomfortable that his wife would have a friendship with another man, even if it was just strictly platonic. At the same time, though, he had no issue if she had a close friendship with a woman.

The refs worked their way through the case and eventually ruled 2-1 in favor of the husband—they asked the wife to terminate her friendship. Not surprisingly, Sarah Silverman, the lone female ref sided with the wife.

I have a huge problem with the refs ruling on this case, so let’s send it up to the appeals court that happens to be presided by yours truly.

Committing yourself to a relationship requires a foundation of trust. That means that when your partner tells you something, you should believe them.

If your partner is hanging out on a consistent basis with someone who she could theoretically be sexually interested in, you’re more than welcome to discuss the friendship.

At no point, however, should you make any demands about breaking off the friendship unless there is a clear sexual advance (e.g. the friend going in for the kiss or the friend asking your partner to attend a BDSM workshop with him).

Being in a relationship does not give you the authority to dictate the everyday lifestyle habits of your partner.

Speaking from a male-perspective, if my girlfriend is meeting up with a guy-friend for coffee, lunch and movies, it is natural for me to get jealous. Manifesting that jealousy into a demand, however, is an entirely different matter.

The fact that she is dating me means that she wants to spend most of her time with me—there are just some things she would rather do with someone else, which is completely understandable.

At the end of the day, if you cannot trust your partner to hang out with someone they could theoretically be sexually interested in, you have some major trust issues. These issues likely extend further than any friendship with a sexual tinge to it.

And if you’re in a relationship in which your partner is making such demands, make sure that you establish your personal space. Even though you’re in a relationship, you have some autonomy.

I am not encouraging you to hide things from your partner, but instead advocating you to feel confident and steadfast in your own decision-making ability.

The last thing you want to is create a slippery slope effect. If you break off a friendship for your partner, who knows what your partner might ask next of you.

Bottom line is, if you cannot trust your partner to be with a friend who is harmless by all accounts, then why are you in a relationship in the first place?

We’ve all heard it before: actions speak louder than words. That’s even true when it comes to first impressions. You might think you’re saying all the right things to the hottie you’re sitting next to in class. But what about the message that your body language is giving off? College News has some tips for giving off a great vibe in class—for those of you still in it—before you even say a word. 

Always make eye contact when you’re listening to them.

Being attentive and interested when your potential love interest is talking is important because it shows that you care about what they have to say. The best way to do this is by maintaining eye contact while they’re talking. Don’t look off into space or stare at people walking outside the window; show them you’re genuinely interested!

Avoid the “nervous jitters”

The “nervous jitters” include nervous compulsive movements, like uncontrollable knee bouncing or and frequent pen tapping. Doing repetitive, shaky things not only shows that you’re nervous, but they’re also sure to annoy those around you who you aren’t trying to impress.

Don’t slouch

Not to sound like your grandmother, but sitting up straight says a lot about your confidence. Confidence is sexy and good posture indicates class and good manners. Slouching in your seat makes you look lazy and frumpy.

Don’t be narcissistic

Don’t check your reflection in the window behind your date every five minutes. They can see where your eyes are looking. So it’s going to be a total turn-off if they think you’re more into yourself than them.

Don’t look like a mess.

I know, you may have come straight from another class or maybe you’re still suffering from your hangover, but put in the extra time in the morning to fix yourself up. The other person will notice all the effort you’re putting in and will feel special knowing you’re trying to look your best for them.

Participate, but don’t be a “know-it-all”

Intelligence is an attractive quality. If you know an answer to a question posed by your TA, then by all means, raise your hand and share your insights! Just be sure you don’t raise your hand in response to every question, and don’t rant like a monkey! Acting like you’re smarter than everyone else in the room is obnoxious and a huge turn-off.

Try not to nap

Sleeping through every discussion is definitely rude and annoying. So, if you have to, grab an energy drink on the way to class. Being awake and attentive is a sign that you are prepared and ready to face the day. Dozing off may suggest that you stayed up all night drinking or cramming for another exam you aren’t ready for.

Ultimately, just try to be yourself. Just remember that little things can make or break a good impression of you. When you’re stuck in class, you might not get a lot of time to charm other people with your great jokes. So just try to be confident, but humble at the same time. It will really show through in the way you carry yourself.

A few months ago I was “talking to” this one girl. We went to dinner a couple times. I brought her to my fraternity’s date night. We even went on a double-date of sorts. All in all, it was going pretty well.

Then winter break came along. Things cooled down a bit over break, given the fact that she was in California and I was in New Jersey. We didn’t really keep in contact too much, but I was ready to try to pick things up when I got back.

So I asked her out to lunch. I figured that it worked well with our schedules because we had the same class in the afternoon. Plus she was taking LSAT classes at night, and I didn’t want to be the reason she didn’t get into her dream law school.

We went to lunch and then headed off to class. Later in the week we even went to brunch. I thought things were getting back on-track, but something seemed off to me. While the conversation was going great, she just seemed a little distant.

I tried to get to the bottom of this by telling her that I was having a good time hanging out with her and that I more or less liked her.

After my bare-all revelation she gave me one of her own: she had a boyfriend. Ouch. Didn’t quite see that one coming down the pipes. I tried to run through in my head what I did wrong and I couldn’t place my finger on anything.

A couple weeks later, I talked to one of her closest friends about what in the world happened. Did I miss a hint? How was I in the dark this entire time?

Here’s the breakdown I got: Since I asked her out to lunch, she was able to rationalize it as just a strictly platonic date that friends would go on—nothing more. Especially since winter break was about a month and we didn’t really keep in touch, it could make sense that I was no longer interested in her as anything more than just a friend.

If I was to have asked her out to dinner, she would have been forced to tell me that she had a boyfriend and could thus no longer see me.

While I do still think there were other things afoot, I learned my lesson, albeit the hard way. If you want to make sure you’re not considered just a friend, try to stay away from lunch dates.

In a guy’s head there might not be a huge difference between lunch and dinner, but for a girl, it means the world. College-age guys rarely grab meals with girls. They might hang out with girls at parties, but meals is something entirely different.

In fact, the vast majority of lunches that guys have are actually in solitude. We’ll just grab something to eat and plop down in front of a TV, or sit somewhere on campus. If we run into a buddy also eating lunch we might join them—but it’s not like we made plans to do so.

For girls, it’s a different story. They love making lunch dates; it’s a way for them to keep in touch with all of their friends. The only time they want to eat lunch by themselves is if they have to study or catch-up on reading.

It is fine to eventually go on lunch dates with a girl you like, but only after you’ve established a clear interest. In my case, the clear interest that was previously established had to be re-established because of winter break.

Rule of thumb: if you want to make it clear that you like a girl, go out to dinner. Worse comes to worst, you are met with a negative answer, but at least you know that she is not interested in you.

The last thing you want to happen is to feel that you’ve been strung along, which happens when you go on a series of lunch dates only to find out that she had her heart set on someone else. It’s a bummer dude.

You thought it was pretty hilarious the first time your boyfriend imitated Chris Rock when you were hanging out at his apartment. It was even funny the second time when he did the same impression at your sister’s party.

But by the third time, when he performs the skit for your waiter and the neighboring table at dinner, the novelty has vanished completely. In its place, though, is pure embarrassment.

He is wonderful and sweet when you are alone together eating dinner or watching a movie. It’s these in private moments when silliness and over-exuberance should emerge. But something about an audience brings out the “best” in your boy.

Bad jokes, bra=snapping and the improvisational performance resurface whenever boredom takes over or the spectators are present. So what do you do with a boyfriend who is great solo but turns into Michael Scott when let loose in a crowd, or on a date?

“My ex-girlfriend hated it when I would sing, dance or do something goofy in public. She thought I was deliberately trying to embarrass her. So she’d walk away until I realized she was gone, and make me spend 30 minutes or so trying to find her, or until I said, ‘to hell with it,’ and went and got ice cream,” recounts John Grant. 

Grant’s own experiences tells us a few things: guys just want to have fun, and women don’t like to be singled out in public for their guy’s awkward behavior.

Women and men alike enjoy regressing back into silliness—this trait is not gender-specific. Yet, in my experience at least, women hold back from embracing their goofy side and are more refined in public. So how do you respond to his antics without causing your relationship to fizzle out? College News has a few ideas:

Be goofy back

Either you will discover how fun it is to dance in the mall or you will embarrass him, thus ending your problem.

Pretend you don’t know him

This method has worked on dates, as well as weird family outings, for ages.

Separate and spectate

Simply standing back with the crowd while he makes a fool of himself, instead of getting drawn in, is not nearly as embarrassing. Just because you are with him doesn’t mean you stand by everything he does, literally or figuratively.

Laugh at him

Guys like praise, especially after a show. He wants the laughs and attention—so go ahead and give it to him.

Find something for him to do

In general, people start to get obnoxious or annoying if they are bored or need something to occupy them.

Bribe him

Like Grant mentioned, a treat or bribe like ice cream can be a good pacifier for dancing and other embarrassing antics.

If all else fails…bring down the iron fist.  Tell him to stop acting immature or you will stop going places with him. If he is a decent guy, he will stop being so ridiculous. If not, consider if you want to be with someone who is inherently goofy. 

So, apparently trashing your ex after a breakup is in. And no, not just for the pure fun of it. (Because, believe me, it’s one of my many joys in life). But there’s actually scientific proof that shows it might just be necessary in order to move on.

A new study by the University of Utah backs this extraordinary phenomenon that hating your ex after a breakup makes you feel better. The study involved 65 undergrads who recently ended relationships that lasted more than four months (which, in college, is more like a century). Researchers found that people who seemed to have strong negative feelings about their ex immediately after the breakup were less likely to be depressed.

To read more, go to College Candy!

Summer is just about to begin, and you couldn’t be any more excited to show off your on-campus sweetheart to your friends back home.  The only problem is for the past few weeks they’ve been acting really strange. As in, they’ve stopped calling or texting, or being so affectionate while in public.

Now you’re confused as to whether your relationship is just maturing, or whether they’re gearing up to leave you at the curb.  Well, College News has some insight on how to tell when your partner is trying to drop the hint that it’s over between you two.

They stop calling and texting.

When you two first met, it felt like you could hardly set your phone down before the next text message came in. Now you haven’t heard from your partner in three days. Or, when you have talked, it’s been awkward one liners about how busy they are and how they might see you out later. 

This is probably the best hint that they’re just not into this relationship anymore.  When someone is into you, they’ll put in the effort to keep you interested in them as well. And that includes the occasional text, at the very least.

They don’t want to be “Facebook Official”

Maybe it sounds ridiculous, but if your partner refuses to let the rest of their “friends” know they’re in a relationship, chances are they don’t want to be in one. Even if they tell you they’re just taking it slow, they really mean that they’re not sure if they want to date you or not.

They aren’t affectionate with you when you’re out.

This is a red flag especially if you’re out at a bar, and they won’t even hold your hand. There are very few college kids who are touchy about their personal space, especially if they’re drunk 60 percent of the time. If your partner is pushing you away, or inching away whenever you get closer, they probably just don’t want to be seen being “cuddly” with you.

They tell you how much you would like their friend.

If your love interest is trying to pawn you off on someone else, it’s seriously time to call it quits. When this happens, you know this relationship is close to over. Though who knows? Maybe it would be worth your while to check out their friend…

If you observe these signs, and if you’re seriously unsure about how someone feels about you, simply ask them. Tell them you’re getting mixed signals and that you don’t want to spend anymore time chasing someone who isn’t into you as well. 

Most people are pretty honest and will give it to you straight. If that’s the case, cut your losses and move on. One of the beautiful things about college is that you’re meeting new people every day. You’re bound to come across someone you’re interested in again sooner or later.

Once again, Cosmopolitan has succeeded in making women look like superficial man-eaters. Now, I know for a fact, that there are at least a few of us who are not butCosmo‘s latest offense comes in the form of an article declaring the seven reasons that women should date geeks.

It was a piece supposedly inspired by the movie She’s Out of My League. Speaking both as a geek and as a woman, this article annoyed and infuriated me to no end.

Rather than advocating geeks as being genuinely sweet, smart and kind partners, the article reads as nothing more than an advertisement for how a woman can profit most from having a geeky boyfriend. Look at the list for yourself:

1. He’s capable of memorizing every line of Star Wars and Lord of the Rings so he shouldn’t have trouble remembering your birthday and favorite kind of flowers.

2. Sure, he may secretly want to get it on with his super hot neighbor, but knowing that you’re the hottest girl he’s ever been with will probably keep him from cheating.

3. Geeks tend to be tech-savvy. Which means not only will he be able to fix a computer problem and upgrade your software, but he’ll actually enjoy doing it.

4. Although the dumb jock thing is a total cliche, you’re unlikely to meet a dorky guy who can’t string together a sentence and carry on an intelligent conversation.

5. Since he’s supersmart and probably already making a ton of money, he won’t think being a roadie for Vampire Weekend is a great “career opportunity.”

6. He was probably bullied during high school so he’ll be sympathetic when you vent about the office bitch...and help you plot a plan to bring her down.

7. He’ll never hog the bathroom to manscape.

I’ll pause for a moment while you finish banging your head against your keyboard.

Really, Cosmo? The best reason you can come up with for why we should date geeks is that they won’t hog our bathrooms doing their “manscaping”? Really?!

This article reminds me of some of the fluff I edited when I was editor for my high school newspaper. Except, had this article crossed my desk, I would’ve tossed it out immediately.

I admire the idea of the article: that geeks can make great partners. Since the execution of the article left something to be desired, however, perhaps this geeky girl who has a history of dating geeky boys can extol their virtues better than some “Sex and the City” fashionista can.

Seven real reasons to date geeks

1. We know who we are and are comfortable with ourselves.

We are more than aware of our geekiness, and how dorky it undoubtedly seems to the outside world, and we are completely fine with it.

We may not be the most confident people in the world, but we don’t try to hide who we are from anyone. Hell, have you been to a comic convention? We’re secure enough about ourselves to congregate and dress up in costume as some of our favorite characters. You have to admit there’s something sexy about that.

2. If geeks are one thing, we are loyal.

We’re devoted fans of shows that have been on the air for decades ("Doctor Who”, “Star Trek") and we’re still discussing and gushing over shows that have long been canceled ("Mystery Science Theater 3000”, “Firefly"). That same loyalty and devotion is shown to our friends and partners. We do what it takes to make relationships last, and, for the most part, aren’t interested in playing the field.

3. We’re funny.

One of the most attractive qualities in the opposite sex, for men and women, is a sense of humor. Geeks have it in spades! With comedy gods like Conan O’Brien, the Pythons and Weird Al Yankovic in our ranks, it would be against our nature to not have a sense of humor. We’re clever, witty and self-deprecating—and sure to crack up whomever we’re with.

4. We’re smart.

Sure we got made fun of in high school for knowing the answers and finishing tests faster than the other students. But let’s face it, when it comes to having a lasting relationship, being able to have intelligent conversations with one another is important. And if your date can handle little more than identifying the President of the United States, chances are your patience for—and attraction to—that person will wear very thin very quickly.

With geeks, you’ll never run out of things to talk about. Whether it’s politics, news or just a chat about one those sci-fi movies we love so much, we know a lot about a broad range of topics and we can discuss them seriously at a moment’s notice.

5. We’re pretty financially secure.

Although we’re not all engineers pulling in the big bucks, we’re also not mooches.

We can support ourselves and, more than likely, we have some money tucked away or invested for the future. We have work ethic and motivation and know where we want to be career-wise. In short, you won’t have to worry about us sleeping on your couch because McDonald’s didn’t call us back.

6. We’re down to earth.

You’ll never have to worry about inflated egos with us. We’re aware of our strengths, sure, but we’re also conscious of our flaws. More than likely we were bullied or ridiculed in school, so we know what it’s like to be talked down to and disrespected.

As a result, we’re extra conscious of not committing the same crime against someone else.

7. Above all else, we’re great friends.

Even if worse comes to worse, and the romantic relationship doesn’t work out, geek exes still make the best friends. If you need to vent or hang out or need someone to go see Iron Man 2 with, we’re ready and willing. What’s more, we’re easy to talk to, which can make getting the opposite sex’s perspective very easy.

Note: This is the diary of a freeloading boyfriend. Observe it carefully in order to see if there’s any resemblance between your significant other and the “gentleman” who writes below:

May 1, 2010

My buddy introduced me to a friend of his girlfriend, Heather. She is way hot and funny. After hanging out for a while that day, I mentioned that I was hungry. Suddenly she was making me a sandwich. “Wow,” I thought, “I didn’t even have to do much convincing.” She did make me a ham and cheese, though, even after I mentioned I liked turkey the better. But after a little pouting, she gave me hers instead.

May 2, 2010

Last night, I stayed over at Heather’s. While I don’t usually stay over at a girl’s house without getting to know her better, I noticed Heather’s bed was really big and soft-looking. Right now, I am sleeping on the floor at my buddy’s house because I am still trying to find a job and apartment.  I figured, why not at least give it a try? Well, I am glad I did because Heather’s bed might be the most comfortable place on the planet, and she doesn’t mind when I use most of the blankets! I think I am going to just keep staying here for a while.

May 3, 2010

Women are so frustrating. This morning, after staying for the second night, Heather and I started to fool around. After 30 great minutes for me, I suddenly felt so hungry I just could do nothing but think about breakfast. So, I got out of bed and poured myself a bowl of cereal and started to watch “Top Gear.” Heather seemed pretty mad when she left her apartment. I decided to just stay around here today so I can be here when she gets back.

May 4, 2010
I know I need to get a job but no one in town is hiring right now. Really, the most economical choice for me right now is just to rely on the generosity of others. Heather has a pretty decent job and hardly spends any money so I don’t really think she minds helping me out for a while. Plus, her parents give her some cash sometimes and mine hardly help me at all! Lucky for me and Heather, though, because our relationship will have the chance to grow and she will learn what kind of person I really am.

May 6, 2010

Woo-hoo! Yesterday was Cinco de Mayo, and boy did I have a great time. I wanted to go out to the bar, but I didn’t have any cash. Since I have been doing a lot around the apartment while Heather is at work, she basically owes me a few. I mean, I stacked up all of the recycling and put it by the door for her to take out with the trash.

I also piled some of my laundry on her bed to make it easy to fold when she has the time. Anyway, I went out with her and her friends to the bar. I kept saying we should do some shots and her friends just kept buying them for me. Unfortunately, I lost those girls for a while because I ran into my ex-girlfriend and talked to her for a couple of hours. Then I realized I needed to find Heather to get a ride back to our apartment. 

May 7, 2010

Jeez, I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: WOMEN ARE CONFUSING! I could not figure out where Heather put that laundry I laid on our bed, so I had no clothes. Who knew she was so protective about her bathrobe?! I thought I looked sort of sexy. 

May 8, 2010

Heather and I have been together for week, but I don’t think it is going to work out. I mean, she is so uptight and is always complaining about me to all her friends. What does “mooch” mean anyway? I hope we can still be friends because living together is going to be really weird if not. Maybe I should just tell her that she should find her own place because I have really started to like living here. Oh well.

Sound familiar?

You finally got up the nerve to talk to that hottie in your English class that you’ve been eyeing all semester. Lo and behold, they’ve agreed to hit the town with you this Friday, and now you’re freaking out about making a great impression. Relax. College News has some tips on how to make you’re first date one your sweetie won’t forget. 

Dress to Impress.

I know that you want your eventual significant other to love you for you, but facts are facts: when you first meet someone, looks are a huge deal. If you’re a girl, wear your most flattering, hottest little number and pair it with some sexy high heels. Don’t overdo it, but give him a little something to get his imagination going. 

If you’re a guy, take some extra time to shave and do your hair. Dress like you would if you were meeting your girl’s parents for the first time. Going the extra mile to impress her with your wardrobe will show her that you’re willing to put effort into this relationship as well.

Easy on the fragrance.

Don’t apply so much cologne/perfume that your date feels like they’re trapped in a gas chamber. Your scent should be whispered, not screamed. So keep a close eye on how you smell.

Don’t be Cheap.

Remember, you’re trying to impress this person. Don’t tell them they can only order drinks off the special menu if you’re paying. And don’t get dinner at McDonald’s either. I’m not saying you have to spend hundreds of dollars at a white tablecloth restaurant. But you should take them somewhere nice, preferably a place where they’ll feel comfortable.

Be Yourself.

Don’t act like anything you’re not. Don’t tell him/her you love their favorite food even if you secretly despise it. After all, you can’t put on an act forever, and eventually your true colors are going to show. 

Don’t Try to Score.

Sex on the first date is typically a bad idea. Usually, couples who are serious about each other wait a little bit before getting it on. You should be careful about even going in for the first kiss. Let the other person make the first move. You don’t want to risk coming off like a slut or manwhore to your new love interest.

Ultimately, you should just act like you’re going on a job interview. Be on your best behavior but be honest and upfront. You want to show your date that you’re serious about them, but you want to show them that you’re a fun, easy-going person at the same time. They’ll appreciate the effort and be happy to see your softer side at the same time. And if it doesn’t work out at least you know you did your best.

Hookups, one night stands and walks of shame seem to be synonymous with the dating scene on most college campuses these days. But after embarrassing booty calls and not-so no-strings-attached relationships, many students are apparently deciding to turn their backs on the hookup scene. With the help of groups like The Love and Fidelity Network, students are being armed with defenses strong enough to handle peer pressure.

As CNN reports, at least 75 percent of women have hooked up on campus, and the number of men hooking up on campus is usually even higher.

What is often not addressed, however, are the emotional effects that hooking up often causes, such as embarrassment, guilt, unhappiness and, of course, broken hearts. Although most scoff at these emotional repercussions, they can be intense and difficult to deal with.

As a result, more and more students are rejecting the hook up environment in favor of the traditional dating scene. A quick search on Facebook returned nearly 500 results for groups fighting to “bring back dating.”

But standing against the hookup lifestyle can be difficult. So the secular group The Love and Fidelity Network has made it their mission to give students arguments and support in favor of good old-fashioned dating.

As The Love and Fidelity Network site says, students “need an honest education about the effects of the sexual culture around them, and they need resources and support to live out their sexuality in a way that honors the full meaning and integrity of sex and human relationships.”

With affiliations with 12 campuses already, tools to research arguments in favor of traditional dating, attend conferences and book speakers and even start one’s own TLFN group, the nonprofit site is playing a large role in the beginnings of what could be a completely different kind of sexual revolution.

So does the hooking up lifestyle give you exactly what you need and want? Or do you find yourself longing for a real relationship in the midst of uncommitted partners? Is The Love and Fidelity Network admirable in its mission, or are they just living in the past?

Read more of CNN’s article on the anti-hookup culture here.

Afterward, peruse The Love and Fidelity Network’s site here.

One of the hardest parts of being a friend to someone is actually being a friend to someone.

It’s not like when we were little we were taught how to be a friend outside the realms of “sharing is caring.” There are certain sticky situations, like dealing with a friend in a bad or abusive relationship, where no how-to guide can instruct us how to be a true friend.

Standing by as a friend suffering through an unhealthy relationship can be confusing, frustrating, and often scary. How do you support a friend without doing them an injustice? And at what point do you draw the line between supporting and enabling?

One of my best friends is in a horrible relationship that resembles a really bad re-run episode of “Degrassi.”

I’ve tried to be there for her through it all. I’ve listened to her, offered advice when she’s asked for it, I’ve been her shoulder to cry on, I’ve been her tough love when she needed a reality check, and I’ve supported her by telling her to make her own decisions.

To read more, go to College Candy!

So, the best four years of your life have come and gone, and you’re now graduating from college. But in addition to abandoning “thirsty Thursday” for your full-time job, you’re leaving behind your college sweetheart to snag that gig …which is four hours away! 

Naturally, you’re wondering how you’ll ever be able to make it last, but there’s no reason for you to fret. College News has some advice that might save your relationship.

Remember that if you want to make it work, you can make it work. 

Even though the distance may seem unbearable, there are millions of couples who survive it.  Besides, being forced to spend a little time apart will make your reunions special. 

Constant communication

Call, text or email as much as you can. In other words, during lunch breaks, before and after work or any other time you get a free hand.  Nothing shows you care more than spending your free time cultivating your relationship with your partner.  Constant and open communication is the key to making a relationship successful.

Let them know you miss them.

Do so by sending flowers or love notes. Tell them you care about them and always think of them while you’re on the job. No one wants to be with someone who doesn’t make them feel special. You need to remind your partner that, even though they’re far away, they’re always in your thoughts. 

Be their number one fan.

Remember, even though you’ve bagged a job, they’re still trying to reach their goals. Talk them through their stress during finals, or help them with research for a project.  If nothing else, just be quiet and listen to them complain.  They’ll appreciate having you there for them even when you’re far away.

Be faithful.

I know you miss your partner, and I know you’re not used to going a few weeks without getting at least a little action.  But seriously, don’t cheat. 

With technology, it’s pretty easy to catch somebody messing around.  You never know if the other woman/man is going to post something on your Facebook wall, or start texting sultry messages when you’re with your partner.

Cheating isn’t going to cure your loneliness; it will probably just make you feel like a scumbag. Moreover, chances are you’re going to be caught. So don’t do it, no matter how strong the temptation.

Don’t be overbearing.

I know it sucks that you’re in the real world while your sweetie is still living it up at college.  But don’t turn into his/her mom just because you don’t get to party every night anymore.  Give your partner their space.  You had your time to shine, so let them have theirs.  There’s no better way to get yourself ‘exed’ then turning into the jealous, psycho girlfirned/boyfriend.

Surprise them.

Fly or drive in one weekend and show up at their door unexpectedly. You might need to communicate with their roommates to make this successfully happen, but seeing their face light up when they see you after being apart for a while will totally be worth it.

Remember: just because you’re partner is far away doesn’t mean you can make your relationship work. 

Couples master long distance relationships all the time; think about all the soldiers away from their loved ones in Iraq!  The distance may seem bad now, but if you really put in the effort, your relationship will probably grow stronger than it was when you were constantly together.  Besides … absence makes the heart grow fonder!

Even if you’re not dating someone, you’re more than likely part of a relationship.

Your best friend starts dating a guy and suddenly you see him every morning drinking coffee and watching TV. Or one of your buddies starts to bring a chick to happy hour, and soon you’re looking forward to her appearance on last night’s episode of “L.A. Ink.” You form a relationship with one another, albeit in an awkward, tangential sense.

So what do you do if you caught your friend’s lover with another?

Phrases like “chicks before dicks” and “bros before hoes” come to mind immediately, but a situation like this complicated. Telling your friend of his or her partner’s indiscretions could result in polarizing your friendship.

“One of my long-time friends told me my boyfriend was cheating on me, but I didn’t believe him. I thought he was trying to cause problems and break us up—I ended the friendship. After my relationship eventually ended, I found out he was telling the truth,” said Caira Wells, student.

Wells describes one possible scenario: Your friend flips out, accuses you of lying, then de-friends you in real-life and on Facebook.

Fair? Maybe. In trying to be a good friend, it’s easy to forget that he or she is naturally really invested in the relationship. So bluntly bursting out that you saw their significant other making out with someone at the bar may be the last thing they want to hear from you. 

Scenario two, on the other hand, has the idealized result we all desire: You spill the goods and your friend thanks you for letting him or her in on the details.

Fair? Again, maybe. Even though your intentions again lie in a wholly heartfelt place, you still run the risk of meddling without knowing all the ins-and-outs of the relationship.

But that still raises the question: if you can’t tell your friend about the dirty deeds going on behind their back, what can you do?

You don’t want them to find out later that you knew about the cheating, but you also don’t want to remain silent either. With this conundrum in mind, student Erik Rodriguez advised College News on the best course of action.

“Confront [your friend’s] boyfriend or girlfriend about the cheating. Say you know about it and recommend they stop, tell your friend, end the relationship, etc. Perhaps you will ignite a spark to better their relationship or end it ... I don’t consider this getting too involved, [but rather] just [being] confrontational in a good way.”

Carefully evaluating the state of the relationship helps as well. Is this person one you expect to be around for a few weeks or someone to be around for a while? The answer may help inform your course of action.

Still feel uncomfortable with these options? Remember one thing, no matter how you act: the power of suggestion, such as dropping hints and picture messages, can go a long way. 

While getting a much-needed pedicure the other day (seriously, I felt bad for the poor girl who had to get up close and personal with my gnarly feet), I found myself watching (and sobbing with) The Notebook.  I don’t know why, but my neighborhood nail salon has multiple plasma TVs that are constantly showing chick flicks. And I like it. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of a woman massaging your feet while you immerse yourself in The Proposal. But I digress.

Obviously, most girls will agree that The Notebook is the most romantic movie of all time. We love the passion, the romance, and idea of everlasting love. We cry every. single. time. we watch it. We want our very own Noah, a guy who wants us badly enough that he’ll dangle from a Ferris wheel just to ask us out.

I’m with you, sisters; I watched that movie alone on a Friday night once and sobbed into a large order of Pad Thai. And that was my 6th viewing. But yesterday when I watched it again (yes, I stayed at the nail place for 2 hours so I could see the whole thing), I actually got a little angry ...

To read more, go to College Candy.

We hear horror stories about date rape and murder every day, yet most of us never think about the fact that we could be the one they’re talking about in the next headline.  So how do you date safe?  College News has some pointers so that you have a great time on your date, but stay safe too.

Don’t get involved with someone you met on Facebook or MySpace

You seriously never know who you’re actually talking to, and more times than not, the people you meet on the internet aren’t who they seem.  If you really want to date online use a website that specializes in dating.  These sites screen their members before letting them join and are much more regulated than social networking sites.

If you don’t know the person well, never go on the first date alone

If you don’t know the person well, then always, always, always bring an escort. You could try to make it a group thing, or perhaps a double date. But seriously, don’t put yourself in a situation where you could be hurt or taken advantage of.

Stay in control

When you are on a first date, take it easy on the alcohol, as people tend to do things that we wouldn’t normally do when we’re drinking. Set a two drink limitation on yourself and call a cab home afterward.  If you do drink, make sure you’re ordering it for yourself.

Never let someone get a drink for you while you’re in the bathroom and keep a close eye on your glass at all times. People can get pretty crafty when they want to slip you a pill. If they do, you’re going to be at a severe disadvantage.

Always let a friend know exactly where you are at all times

Give your best girl/guy the address of where you plan to be, the phone number and first and last name of your date.  Tell them when you plan to be home, and that they should call you, and then the police if they don’t hear from you by then.

Trust your instincts.

If something seems out of the ordinary to you, chances are you’re in a dangerous situation.  Don’t ever go anywhere or do anything you feel uncomfortable with, and make it known to your date that you have every intention on protecting yourself. Be careful when you date!

Studying for final exams and writing final papers are great for your end-of-semester grades, but working hard here could earn you an ‘F’ in the relationship department.  Throughout your academic career, the stress of the closing semester requires more time for school, and less time for love. Lucky for you, College News thought-up 5 dates that can keep your study schedule, as well as your relationship, strong—all in an hour or less!

1. Go outside

Breathing the fresh air with your honey gives you a chance to indulge in the sunlight together and escape the library’s gray walls. Grab a Frisbee, a picnic basket, and your dog, then head to the park. Try something you usually wouldn’t do, like climbing a tree or lying in the grass together, to make this date a memorable experience.

2. Exercise

Get your brain power and endorphins pumping by hitting the gym or jogging outside as a couple. Not only will it be a direct change of pace from studying, the heart-pounding activities make you both feel good about yourself, and about spending time together. Kick it up a notch by playing one-on-one basketball, tennis or soccer.

3. Tell Jokes

Nothing makes a date or a study break better than a few good laughs. Grabbing a cup of coffee and exchanging the corniest, silliest or dirtiest jokes will bring the two of you closer. Not to mention the fact that you’ll have something to chuckle about while trying to remember all the stages of mitosis.

Bad at joke telling? Check out funny websites like textsfromlastnight.com and the Shitmydadsays Twitter feed, then talk about what you read. 

4. Play games

A mindless game of Uno or War can make even the worst of final days fun. This date is great if the both of you are stuck in the library without a full hour to spend or several small blocks of time. Try taking mini dates with games like working for 10 minutes on a word search or crossword puzzle.  Indulging as a couple will give both of you something to look forward to between all the books.

5. Massages

What could be better under stress?  Exchanging 15-minute back and foot massages is a fast and intimate way to show you care, and they will also lower stress levels. Got an hour and some privacy?  Let the massage develop into something more. Your return to your 10-page paper will be more than refreshing. 

So you’ve finally met that perfect someone, and now it seems like you just can’t get enough time with them. Your friends, however, are seeing red since you never hang out with them anymore. Now you’re wondering how to keep from being known as the couple who only hangs out with each other. As always, College News has some advice for you.

1. Don’t blow off plans you’ve already made with your friends.

This is one of the most irritating things in the world. When you do this, you send the message that your friends are not that important to you. Keep in mind that they were there before your lover was. Even though a pretty face has come along, you shouldn’t give them the shaft.

2. Bring your partner out with you and your friends.

This is a great way to have them get to know each other, and your friends will be more understanding of your desire to spend time with your partner if they like hanging out with him/her too.

3.  Plan all girl/guy vacations.

Leave your significant other at home and go on weekend getaways with just the guys or the girls. Road trips and vacations are great ways to bond and create memories with your BFFs.

4.  When you do hang out with your friends, don’t live on your phone.

You don’t have to ignore your partner all night, but keep in mind how annoying it is when you’re trying to spend time with a friend and all your friend wants to do is text someone else. It makes you feel like your time isn’t valuable to them, and that they would rather be somewhere else than with you.

5. Designate a day a week that you will hang out with your friends rather than your partner.

Talk to your significant other and make a deal that you each have to spend at least one night hanging out with your friends rather than each other. Spending one night of the week apart won’t kill you, and, what’s more, your friends will really appreciate it.

6. If you’ve already ignored your friends, apologize.

Let them know that you’ve come to your senses and realize how much you’ve been neglecting them. Assure them that you’re going to make more of an effort to be a good friend and actually go through with it! Remember, actions speak louder than words.

Ultimately, you really need to look at yourself and make sure you’re not ditching your friends for your girlfriend/boyfriend. Your friends are the ones who have always had your back and who will still be there if you and your lover break up. Relationships and friendships require maintenance, and even though you have friends now, don’t risk losing the people in your life who care about you the most.

After a break-up, one of my male friends asked me if I would like to go to dinner. Thinking nothing of this usual invitation, I gladly accepted. 

Once at the restaurant, though, I noticed our usual late-night meal was a little different. He ordered my martini, steered conversation clear of the hot chicks at the bar, then picked up the check. 

“Wow!” I thought, “Nice for him to take me out after a broken heart.” However, this type of generosity was not the case. After a long walk to my car, and quickly dodging the end-of-night kiss, I realized that he had asked me out on a date. 

I am sure many women have experienced this same scenario in one way or another, or being out with an attractive friend, classmate or neighbor.  But how do chicks know if this is just the average morning coffee meeting with your guy-pal or a date? Let College News sort it all out for you.

“It’s a date!”

If he says, “It’s a date!” after setting the plans, you most likely are actually going on a date. For many shy (or sly!) daters, the breezy phrase is a casual way of letting you know he is escalating the usual encounter. 

Location and time

Usually, meeting at a swanky restaurant in the later dinner hours signals a date. This is especially true if usually you meet at a casual location like the bar for happy hour or coffee on your way to class. 

“If I ask a girl friend out for dinner and we argue in the car about where we are going, this is not a date. If I already have the restaurant picked out and the evening planned, then she should know it is different than usual,” said Gray Rosseen, student.

Conversation

If the topic changes from the usual fart jokes and hook-up stories to noticing your highlights and a sudden interest in your nail salon, you are on a date. Most guy friends stop censoring themselves the second they realize you are a cool chick, and then start again after they realize you are cool, hot and want you stay the night.

Heating up the action

Going for the kiss at the end of the dinner, movie or any other cliché “I should kiss her” opportunity, you can assume he was thinking you time together was a date. “Needless to say, I don’t try and kiss chicks I am not looking to start some type of sexual or romantic relationship with,” said Mathew Syed, student.

The kiss becomes the date’s make or break.  If you didn’t know you were on a date, going with the kiss or dodging it with a skillful hug sends the message back to the guy.  “I would rather have her not kiss me back, than her do it and only take it back later as a mistake,” remarked Darren Klenk, student.

Our View?

If you are picking up the signals as the date goes on, don’t be afraid to speak up and ask if this is a date.  This way, you both can be on the same page from the beginning, and maybe conserve some of you pal’s male ego.

Spring break is long gone. You’re back at your non-tropical, cold slash rainy campus, and all you can do is reminisce about all those tequila shots, bonfire parties, and, most of all, that boy you met.

Everyone knows about the infamous DFM. Dance Floor Makeout, for those of you living under a rock (or some of my nerdier Asian friends). Usually they don’t last past a couple of songs, and definitely not past twilight. During this time of lip-locking and hip-grinding, you can definitely get a sense of whether you’re compatible or not. Trust me, some DFMs are just …bad.

But then that one good one comes along and it makes everyone around you dancing seem like they’re in slow motion, a gray blur in the background. He’s tan and ripped and the hottest guy in the club, and you’ve got him in your arms…

To read more, go to College Candy!

It goes without saying that young people’s views of what qualifies as “sex” has changed in the last 20 years. It does so naturally from generation to generation. But what a new article entitled “Sex Redefined: The Reclassification of Oral-Genital Contact,” by Jason D. Hans, suggests is that such views have changed more radically that we’d all think.

As The Guttmacher Institute reports, the 2007 survey, upon which Hans’ article is based, reveals that only 20 percent of the young adults surveyed consider oral sex to be “sex”. By contrast, 78 percent consider anal sex to be “sex”, and 98 percent consider vaginal intercourse to be “sex”.

This shifting attitude in what does and does not constitute “sex”, the article suggests, can be attributed to a limited sex education curriculum, wherein abstinence is heavily emphasized; and to widely-publicized sex scandals, such as the revelation of President Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky, and the scandal that ensued.

Read more about the study here.

Dating is a lot like eating at a restaurant: You love the food, but one look in the kitchen could send you running. Similarly, you might like what a fella or lady is looking like on the outside, bu once the clothes come off, they might be into some stuff that will make you want to run off.

These qualities, most known as “dealbreakers” are the filthy bedroom no-nos that lurk under the clothes and in the freak-closets of your potential dates.  Learn to spot the most infamous dirty-deed dealbreakers before you order dessert. So to speak.

Dirty-Deed 1: Sneaky scents

Sure, he smelled so Calvin Klein cool with his shirt on, but now that he’s playing skins, he just plain reeks. Body odor that can’t even be bothered to coverthe strongest of scents will only grow stronger with physical activity. Alas, after a few minutes, you will smell just like him. That’s a dealbreaker.

Dirty-Deed 2: Granny-panties and tighty-whities

Nothing screams sexy like full-coverage Hanes on both participants. If these are date-undergarments, just imagine the “sexy” outfits he or she might will plan for you after a few months of a comfortable relationship.

Dirty-Deed 3: Too much freak

Who doesn’t like a little adventure? After all, it’s essential for an interesting sex life. But after pulling out a whole box of kinky toys, dirty talk that would scare even Hannibal Lector, and wanting to get experimental with fireworks—not making this one up!—it’s time to run.  In fact, I think I have seen behavior before. That’s right, it was an episode of “Law and Order: SVU.”

Dirty-Deed 4: Hair gone wild

Perhaps everyone’s worst nightmare. Sorry feminists, hippies, on-season swimmers and people who’ve been single for a while—hairy is scary. Neglected and adventurous back hair, shoulder hair, sweater-like chest hair, leg hair and public hair all qualify as reason to get the hell out of there. Be sure to leave money on the table for a razor.

Dirty-Deed 5: Confession crazy

Foreplay is not the best time to blurt out you have a girlfriend, you are a virgin or that you may or may not still have that herpes outbreak.  If the bedroom starts to resemble a confessional booth, then thank God for the intervention.

Dirty-Deed 6: Figure Fraud

Sorry girls, but you are most guilty of this. If, on your date, she was a DD with a 24-inch waist, then naked was a B-cup who asks you to take off her corset, then it’s time to hit the road. Just imagine what else she is hiding.

Dirty-Deed 7: Dopplerganger?

In the dark theater, you thought he resembled that lunatic your roommate use to date, but much cuter and with different hair. But if on the way home he mentions he is not suppose to be in your neighborhood because of “Some trumped up restraining order from a girl who lives around here” make a U-turn.  And take back your much cuter comment. 

You don’t know where you went wrong. You thought the last six months you spent dating your boyfriend/girlfriend were perfect in every way. Your partner, however, didn’t exactly feel the same way, and pulled the plug on your romance.

Now you’re stuck in on a Friday night and all you’ve got to keep you company is your Physics book and a 12 pack of Red Bull. 

So how do you ease the aching pain that’s resonating within what’s left of your heart? College News has some great ideas on how to leave your pain at the door and your ex in the past. 

1. Don’t think going out and getting really drunk is going to solve your problems. 

Getting crazy obliterated might make you forget your ex for a little bit, but your problems are still going to be there in the morning. Not to mention the fact that you’ll probably have an awesome hangover to go with it. Plus, alcohol is a depressant. Chances are things are going to feel a lot worse before they get better. Your best bet would be to keep the bottle in the cupboard until you have gotten over the initial shock of your break up.

2. Don’t stay in and be a recluse.

That said, a fun, responsible night out with your friends could be a great way to get your mind off the break-up. Go mini-golfing or laser tagging with a group of your buddies. Now that you don’t have anyone to answer to, you can go hang out with whoever you want for as long as you want. There’s no better cure for a broken heart than good friends and good times.

3. Write a letter

If you just don’t feel like you have the strength to get up and get out of your apartment, try writing a letter to your ex about how you feel. But don’t ever actually give it to them. Instead, pretend you’re writing them and letter and feel free to get into every single nitty-gritty detail on how much you hate them right now. 

Let out all of your feelings onto the paper. Let them know how bad you’re hurting and all the things they did that used to drive you crazy.  When you’ve got it all out, either rip the letter into a million pieces or burn it.  Getting your feelings onto paper is a great way to relieve tension and stress, helping you feel a lot better in the process.

4. DON’T go see a romantic comedy, or listen to sappy love songs.

They’re just going to remind you of all the things you just adore about your ex and you’re going to have a breakdown.  Try to be rational and remind yourself all the reasons why you guys broke up in the first place. 

5. DO go out and pamper yourself.

If you’re a girl, go get your nails done, or get a facial.  If you’re a guy, go buy yourself that new hockey stick you’ve wanted with all the money you would have spent on your girlfriend. Point is, treat yourself to something nice!  Remember, you need to love yourself before you can start trying to love someone else again.

Finally, always remind yourself that you deserve to be with someone who’s going to love you just as much as you love them.  You might feel like you’re missing out on something great, but you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you that you feel about them.  Besides, you’re in college, you’re young!  And there’s a million other, great people out there.  Someone, somewhere is going to make you so happy one day. Why rush it?

When our mothers were single ladies, courtship had a very different feel. If they met the man of their dreams, it meant they were chained to the house phone for the next week – waiting for Mr. Right to call. Today, cell phones have granted us the gift of mobility. While women may not be able to shake that desperate feeling, they can at least carry it with them to the mall or out with friends. The real benefit of cell phones, however, is text messaging.

In my experience, text messaging has been a blessing and a curse for relationships. Sure, you can edit and tweak everything you say before you say it. You can read messages and chose how and when to respond.  You can even save conversations to replay and re-analyze over and over again (a practice I am wayyyy to familiar with). On the down side, the informality of text messaging has blurred the “rules” of who makes the first move.

I have always been a very strong believer in the idea that the guy should text the girl first.

To read more, visit College Candy. 

Some couples are for the lights-off kind of sex, where they would be lucky to know what color of underwear each other is wearing.  And some couples are the public-display sex kind, meaning we’re the ones lucky enough to know the color of their underwear! 

While each couple has separate levels of comfort with their intimacy, the fact is healthy sex is healthy sex. And obtaining that comfort requires communication. To ensure that your sex life is healthy, engage in the following five sexversations and keep your love train on track.

1. Was that good for you?

Sex measures a relationship’s temperature like a thermometer does the weather’s; good sex signals a good relationship. If your passionate embraces start to become more like a clock-watching session, the chemistry and emotions between you and your partner are changing.  A simple question, with an honest response, could open doors for conversations about why your sex is or is not sizzling.

2. What’s your favorite position?

Bad pick up line? Yes. Good for relationships? Also yes. Simply stated, if you don’t know your partner’s favorite position you earn an “F” in the bedroom.  Even if you may think you know, chances are, if he or she has not explicitly told you, “I like doggy style,” you probably don’t know. 

3. What’s your fantasy?

Indulging your desires to your partner can open the door for many exciting sexual experiences.  What if you had been harboring a secret desire to have sex in the library, which is the very fantasy your partner unveils?

However, this question comes with a warning label: you can get in trouble here. Spilling to your girlfriend about your long-time fantasy of a threesome with a couple of girls he met on spring break last year might yield the results you want.  While I am not advocating lying, acclamation to your dirty mind would be appreciated—so start easy.

4. Do you like my body?

A dangerous question but a necessary one. If his six-pack abs slowly melted away around the six-month mark, speaking up about how much you miss them will not be the worst thing in the world. Taking care of yourself has more benefits than merely stopping wandering eyes.

5. What do you want?

Some people have never been asked this question. They go along with whatever type of sex is given to them without protest…all the while dreaming about being held up to the wall or moving away from missionary.  Simply asking your partner what they want mid-act gives both of you the opportunity for a perfectly satisfying, happy ending. In both senses of the phrase.

Your semester workload has lightened and you’re starting to feel a little lonely. You’re ready to find Mr. or Ms. Right and have a relationship.  The only problem is, you’ve been out of the game for a while and have no idea where to even start looking for a significant other.  Well, here are some great places to meet new people and, potentially, a new beau or honey.

One of the biggest mistakes people make when trying to find a new partner is looking for their soulmate while they’re drunk at the bar.  Not that it doesn’t happen. It’s just a lot harder to have a legitimate conversation with someone when you can hardly see straight. 

Not to mention the fact that most people are just looking for hookups while they’re out, not the love of their life.  So if you’re looking for some casual fun, have at it. But I wouldn’t recommend this venue if you’re looking for anything serious.

On the other hand, one of the best places to meet new people is, well, class. Chances are you have a lot in common already because you’re both studying the same stuff. You can relate to one another because of the tests and papers you both have to suffer through. So why not try making small chat at the library. You’ll never know where it will lead.

Another great place to meet someone is the gym. Try initiating conversation while your stretching out for your long run, or offer to team up on the bench.  If exercise is something you value, you’re going to want to date someone who can motivate you to reach your goals. The gym is the perfect place to find someone who shares this passion with you.

The workplace is also a great place to meet someone, if you’re careful. You spend most of your time at your job, so you’re bound to get to know your co-workers. There’s a good chance some hotties work with you, so use that to your advantage. Like we said, just be careful it doesn’t become an awkward situation if things don’t work out. Also, don’t get involved with a superior. You might risk losing your job, and tarnishing your reputation.

If those are chances you aren’t comfortable with, then consider joining an co-ed intramural sports team. Sports teams tend to get close throughout practices and games. You could meet someone that you have fun with, and, at the same time, likes the same kinds of physical activities you do!

A really fantastic place to meet someone with the same interests and values as you is church. If you are a religious person, it would be smart to have a partner who shares the same values as you do. It might cause conflict in your relationship if you decide date someone who follows a different religion, though it isn’t impossible to cross these hurdles. 

In the end, you can find love just about anywhere. And, typically, the best relationships come about when you’re not looking for them. But in the case that you are looking for someone specific, make an effort to frequent the places where you’ll find someone who values the same things that you do.

Green thinking has taken over our society, and avid consumers are seeking out new, alternative lifestyles that make the most of green and organic living: Clothing made out of natural fibers is in high demand, many household cleaners have gone organic and farmer’s markets highlighting organic, locally grown produce are becoming more and more popular.

The world of beauty products has also begun to transition into the world of natural recipes; unfortunately, many of these products have a rather high retail price attached to them. With the help of such sites as My Beauty Recipes (http://www.mybeautyrecipes.com), aspiring greeners can recreate many of the same beauty products you find at department stores in your own kitchen.

My Beauty Recipes has many recipes for products ranging from hair-care to foot-care, but here are a few to get you started.

Buttermilk and Fennel Facial Cleansing Milk (For Oily Skin)

1/2 cup buttermilk
2 Tbsp crushed fennel seeds

Heat the milk and fennel seeds in top of double boiler for 30 minutes. Turn off the heat and let the mixture steep for 2 hours. Strain, cool, pour into bottle and refrigerate. Keeps for 2 weeks.

Chamomile Facial Cleansing Milk (For Dry and Sensitive Skin)

1/4 cup cream
1/4 cup milk
2 Tbsp chamomile flowers, fresh or dried

Heat all ingredients in a double boiler for about 30 minutes; do not allow milk to boil. Turn off heat and let sit for about 2 hours, strain. Pour into a bottle and refrigerate. Keeps for 2 weeks.

Oatmeal Facial Mask

Blend some oatmeal with water and gently spread it onto your skin. Leave it until it dries, which should be about 10 or 15 minutes.

Orange Yogurt Facial Mask

1 tsp plain yogurt
1 tsp fresh orange juice

Combine the yogurt and juice and apply to your face. Rinse with plenty of warm water after 5 minutes.

Natural Shampoo

1 oz. Olive oil
1 egg
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar

Combine all ingredients in a blender and blend well. Use like regular shampoo. Discard any leftovers.

In a feature for College News, a sex and dating writer will answer a question that comes courtesy of Leftos, a Web site devoted to opening up communication between Men and Women. For the latest question, we tackle this probing question: I hate it when my boyfriend/girlfriend...

Here’s the set-up:

Guys, girls, what things does your boyfriend or girlfriend do that drives you crazy? Start it with “I hate it when my (boyfriend/girlfriend)” and list as many as you want! I’ll kick it off....

I hate it when my boyfriend get’s mad at me for the smallest, most insignificant things.
I hate it when my boyfriend ignores me when he’s around his friends.

Mark answers

I hate it when my girlfriend blatantly tries to start internet memes. Zing! Truthfully, that’s what this question sounds like. An internet meme. But, what the hell, we’ve all got gripes. Most of mine are what could be described as garden variety woman-stuff, but there are two or three things that I could probably list.

1. I hate how my girlfriend works herself stupid. It’s not an affront to feminism to take a break and sit around in your PJs watching “Lost.” Also, I get to see you more! Which is great for us both!
2. I hate it when my girlfriend frets about her weight. She eats well, exercises frequently and doesn’t drink, but it’s still not enough. Honestly, let your metabolism do the rest. After you make the right lifestyle choices, the rest is out of control.
3. I hate it when my girlfriend doesn’t come out and ask what she wants directly. Just spit it out already! I can’t figure it out.

What about you, readers?

Somewhere in the universe, the stars aligned and the cosmos granted you the ever sought threesome. Good for you! But now what? If you are feeling a little lost, a little nervous or a little confused, read our guide to organizing a near-cinematic night of fun.

1. Choose your type.

The first, and perhaps most important, step in planning a threesome is to decide the combination of people involved. Quinn, student, recommends to “make sure there are at least two girls and no dudes.” But, of course, you might be enticed by other options, such as two men, one woman; three men; and three women. By making this choice, you ultimately narrow the scope for whole will participate. Some men do not feel comfortable in a threesome with another man, and some women would like to experience a threesome only with other woman. Be sure to figure out what you’re comfortable with.

2. Plan the guest list.

Creating a good dynamic for your threesome will be the key to a pleasurable experience. “It can’t be someone that either of the two primary sexual partners have any romantic interest in whatsoever, and vice-versa” advised Cameron. “Threesomes are about fantasy and sex. Also, it’s helpful if the person is a mutual friend that you’re both comfortable with; their sexual history should not be in question.”

Yet many advise against engaging in freak-in-the-sheets activities with good friends, let alone your significant other.

Law student Kim explained that, “I personally think it’s best to keep it casual and avoid having group sex when intense romantic or commitment-type feelings are involved. It keeps the insecurities and jealousy to a minimum and everyone is free to just enjoy being hot and naked together.”

3. Consider the aftermath before the event.

Kim’s advice certainly leads a threesome organizer to think about the reality of group sex. Crazy, steamy sex comes with a price, often. If the threesome involves any participants who are not completely willing, insecure or maintain even the slightest feelings of jealousy, the whole pleasure party could quickly turn into a disaster.  Mull over the possible ramifications to a relationship with your partner before engaging in a threesome. For example, will you trust that your partner will be faithful afterward? Will you still be secure in your relationship, or will what happens in the threesome remain only in that very moment?

4. Pick a location, time, and state-of-mind.

While this may sound strange at first, planning where you have your threesome could make all the difference in the world. After all, your small dorm room or apartment might not be the best choice if you have a roommate. Furthermore, your adventure should not be burdened by time.

Next, consider the memories your trio-romp will leave behind. If you are a couple, are you both fine with inviting another person into your bed, which the two of you share?  If not, consider a hotel room, which can be a neutral location for all parties. If the threesome happens to go badly, at least you can leave it behind further than simply changing your sheets.

Also, be sure to discuss beforehand if alcohol or any other mind-altering substance will be allowed.  While both can help people lower their inhibitions, and make you feel more comfortable, they can also let the flood gates of regret tremble.  A clear mind steers all people in the direction they feel most confident...without a triple walk of shame the next day.

5. Check the facts and gather your equipment.

Knowing each person’s STI and HIV statuses in every sexual encounter should be a priority, especially if you are engaging in non-monogamous sexual activities.  The memories of your threesome should be much more fond that a herpes outbreak. Be sure to have plenty of male and female condoms, dental dams, lube and whatever else you need.  Digging around your nightstand for the box of condoms you swear you had for emergencies will probably kill the mood and leave you out of the hot, hot action!

6. Break the ice.

So, after all this planning, just how do you just start this magical night? Student Kiel suggests luring both partners slowly, and then moving forward from there.

“The best way to start would be to have the girl you know best cuddling up with you and you start kissing her. Then you could invite the friend over to sit with y’all, now knowing that you want to enjoy her as well. If she comes, you hope the first girl would progress to licking your neck or rubbing your body, while you start kissing the other girl to open the evening.”

It’s a great way to make all partners feel comfortable in a progression, rather than just stripping down and jumping into bed. 

7. Hide this guide!

Don’t out yourself as a threesome novice by leaving this guide as the last thing on your internet browser.  Leave your awkward moments for when you accidentally pull on the other guy’s boxers.

So everything is going perfectly between you and your new love interest. You’ve finally made it official on Facebook and are using all your monthly text messages keeping it touch during your prof’s boring two hour lecture.  Everything seems peachy keen…well, except for one thing.

Your honey has a super annoying ex who just can’t seem to take the hint that it’s over. Between the 3 a.m. drunken phone calls and the dirty stares they give you at the bar, you’re about ready to hit someone in the face.  Well, fret not, and take a deep breath, because College News has some advice that could help you cope with your uninvited guest.

First of all, make sure that your new significant other has made it clear to their ex that they do not want to talk to them.  There’s no reason for them to be mean, but they do need to be firm. Tell them to use language like, “I still respect you as a person, but I would prefer it if you stopped contacting me”. If guy/girls has half- hour chats with their ex every time they get a phone call from them, chances are the ex still thinks they have a chance for reconciliation. Nip false hopes in the bid with unambiguous language

If telling the ex directly doesn’t work, ask your partner to try avoiding them.  If your partner blocks them from their buddy list, lets the phone calls go to voicemail, and refrains from talking to them when they’re out in public, then those should be surefire ways of giving the ex the message that it’s time to move on.

You could also try talking to the ex yourself, if you’re feeling up to it.  Best to do it in person, but an instant message or Facebook message can suffice as well.  Just let them know that you understand how they’re feeling, but that they’re hurting your feelings because it appears that they’re trying to ruin your relationship.  Try to explain that you don’t appreciate the constant texts and phone calls, and ask them to please reconsider what they’re doing. Don’t threaten them, but let them know that you know what’s up.

If the ex continues to fill up your partner’s mailbox, then keep in mind your newly found sweetheart may not be the innocent party him/herself. Ask yourself if you have any reason to believe that your partner may be returning the flirtatious behavior. If it really bothers you, talk to your partner about it.

Finally, keep in mind that there is a fine line annoying behavior and harassing behavior. If you and/or your partner feel as though this person could be a danger to either of you call the police or notify the police or your university immediately. Hopefully, it won’t come down to that, but you and your partner deserve to feel safe.

Midterms taking a toll on your relationship? It’s not entirely surprising if they have.

You’ve spent hours cramming for your tests, and your significant other is starting to feel like they’re getting the shaft. They want to hang out, but you’re always at the library. And, in turn, you feel like they’re being insensitive to your responsibilities as a student. So how do you make peace?

First of all, try to spend time with your guy/girl while you’re studying. Ladies, let your guys set up their TV and watch them play the new Final Fantasy game while you cram for your Health Exam. 

Guys, tell your girl to DVR The Bachelor and make an all-night marathon out of it. Hanging out, just relaxing and enjoying each other’s company, is a great way to spend time together, and bond at the same time over your studies.

Speaking of which: take study breaks. Call a time out on the books and go to dinner or a movie. Go grab so some coffee and chat for twenty minutes.

Taking a break from studying will not only help you regain your focus on your material, it will show your honey you’re serious about making time for them.

During your study session, make sure to send your boy/girl lots of cute texts or online messages. Tell them how much you’ve been thinking about them, and what a distraction they are from studying.

You can even admit that stalking them on Facebook is taking up a huge portion of their night. They’ll think it’s cute that you’re thinking about them and they’ll lay off a little bit on the pressure.

Encourage them to go out with their friends. Just because you can’t go out and have fun, doesn’t mean they have to stay bedridden.  Tell your girl/guy to hit the town. Tell them to have fun and to hit you up when they’ve made it back to their apartment safely.

They’ll appreciate the fact that you’re not controlling and jealous. And they’ll definitely appreciate that you’re thinking about them when they’re not around.

Ensure them you’ll make it up to them. Tell your girl/guy you’ll spend lots of time with them as soon as you finish your exam. But be serious about it. Don’t just make promises you can’t keep. This will give them something to look forward to after you’re time apart.

Most importantly, the day after your test, give your undivided attention to your significant other. Go straight to their dorm and tell them how much you’ve missed them and how much you care about them.  Make them dinner, or take them out for a celebratory night on the town.

Mastering the first date is much like mastering a job interview. You dress up, compile some witty phrases in your head to impress the other person, feel nervous, try to let your personality shine through, then hope for a call in the next few days to say, “Hey, I like you!”

The difference between the two scenarios, of course, comes at the end.

At the closing of the interview, you end with a mutual handshake, smiles, and an awkward line about how hopeful you are to be “part of the team.” The interviewer knows that you want the job. Your date on the other hand? Well, at the end, you must decide: Awkward line, handshake, hug, kiss...or breakfast?

Generally speaking, opening up and letting anyone know too much about yourself the first few times you meet him or her is a social no-no. After all, when was the last time you called a girl back who over-shared about all her family problems minutes after you bought her a drink? 

However, the notion of dropping your pants and letting sparks fly after less than a few hours doesn’t seem to send many people running for the hills. So is sex on the first date an over-share, or is opening your pants a good strategy for snagging a relationship?

“Depends on why you went on the date in the first place!” commented Ella Parish, college student. “If you are dating to have sex, I guess that would mean you got what you wanted. If you are dating to find a long term partner, then I think most people wait to find out if they even like this person before they make a bigger commitment. Sex means different things to different people.”

Parish poses a good question: Just exactly why are you on the dating scene?

Back in the days of playing the field, I was dating to find someone to have sex with right now, and someone to have sex with tomorrow and the day after, and perhaps I would get a little bit of hanging out, dinner and movies out of the scenario.  Obviously, this was not going to get me much of a serious relationship, but, at the time, I didn’t want one.

Yet, for people who are concerned over a looming large number of notches on their bed post, holding off for a love connection could be the only way to really know if sex will make or break their chances.

“Chances are, you will not know after one dinner and movie if you are a perfect match. But I am sure after one date if I want to bang you in the back seat of my car or back at my place,” said Chad Stoic.  “I like a girl who is willing to go with her feelings and not hold back because of some implied social norm about when we are allowed to have sex. Not saying that all my dates and I have sex the first time we go out, but if we are both feeling it, then why not?”

Either choice leaves the dating situation up for chance to decide what happens. But a good rule of thumb when it comes to dating is not to lie, to the date or yourself. 

If you are the type of guy who likes to wait a few weeks to get to know a girl before you jump into bed, then don’t pretend that you are OK with a first-date romp.  Like lying on your resume, you may end up in a position you’re not prepared for!

In a feature for College News, a sex and dating writer will answer a question that comes courtesy of Leftos, a Web site devoted to opening up communication between Men and Women. For the latest question, we tackle this probing question: When is the appropriate time to meet the parents?

Here’s the set-up:

I was talking to a friend of mine this past weekend who told me that her new boyfriend brought her to the meet his parents after 3 weeks of dating. I thought was a bit excessive...way to early to take a big step like that. But it got me wondering, when is the appropriate time to introduce your partner to your parents?

Jon answers

I’m curious as to how the boyfriend in this scenario brought up meeting his parents to his girlfriend. Context matters. It may seem like it’s too soon for the Leftos questioner, and she does have a point. 3 weeks into a relationship is a very short time. But sometimes meeting the parents is something that just falls into your lap, like if they happen to come up for a weekend to the college you’re attending.

If this is the case in a budding romantic relationship, you can meet the parents. But perhaps talk to your significant other about whether or not you want to be introduced as their dating partner. If you’re ready to take that step, then that’s great. But be sure to do your homework. Ask your partner about their parents, what they’re comfortable with in terms of conversation topics, what they do for a living, etc. If don’t feel comfortable doing a small amount of homework, then maybe this isn’t the best time for parental introductions.

If you don’t want to be introduced as a dating partner, then still do your homework, but you can be much more relaxed about it. So, to answer the question, it all depends on how comfortable the two of you are in the skin of your relationship. If that’s 3 weeks, 3 months, or 3 years (hopefully not), then that’s what it has to take. Remember, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Your significant other sees the world in you. Chances are, the parents will pick up on that

I’d like to start this article by clearing up a well-disputed fact: girls and guys cannot just be friends. At least, not at first. Even if it’s never mutual, someone is going to be attracted to the other at some point in your friendship.

More often than not, you’re going to end up hooking up. So, having established that fact, let’s say you got drunk, hooked up, and now are stuck in a super awkward situation.  Here are a few guidelines on how to save your friendship with the opposite sex.

First of all, figure out how YOU feel about the other person. 

Was this a drunken excursion into romance-ville, or do you legitimately want to be more than just friends?  The days following a hook-up with a friend are a good time to explore your possibilities with the other person, considering they obviously just showed some kind of interest in you.

However, if you establish you don’t actually want a romantic relationship with this person, then don’t brag to everybody that you hit it.  If you want to try and remain friends with the other person, they probably won’t appreciate you telling the world what happened.

Going off of that notion: don’t make it awkward.  You were obviously comfortable enough with the other person to be intimate with them, so don’t be totally weird about what you did. 

Don’t ignore your friend for the next week, and don’t pretend it didn’t happen. Your best bet is to take on the situation head-on and actually talk to them about it. 

Figure out how they feel, and what course of action they would like to take from here on out.

Finally, learn from your mistakes. 

Let say your hook-up ruins your friendship. Try to remember that consequence in the future. Go out in a group, or take it easy on the alcohol.  Don’t jeopardize your friendships for a temporary thrill.

In the beginning, relationships float on perfectly. In fact, every tiny part of your new-found love screams a-maz-ing. In other words, you’re totally smitten. Given a few weeks or months, however, and you realize there are some habits or attributes you wish could change.

Is it the way they leaves their clothes on the bathroom floor, right next to the hamper?  Or is it the way they do their hair with the Bump-It daily that drives you insane?

Or perhaps you want a more serious change, like for her to become more of a listener, or for him to be more open and honest.  Whatever the wish or demand may be, a question is raise: is changing a person ever OK for a relationship?

Engaged college couple Bobby Phillipps and Paula Wiggam opened up exclusively for College News about the ins-and-outs of change in their relationship. 

Wiggam explained, “Whether physically or in household things, Bobby and I are pretty good about compromising. For example, I encouraged Bobby to cut his hair and since he was thinking about doing that anyway, he went ahead and did it. And that goes both ways.”

Phillipps agreed, emphasizing that the little changes in a relationship don’t matter. However, a request to forgo his passions is where he draws the line.

“I’ll change most anything for Paula, but I will never stop playing music. She could threaten that she’d leave me, and I would still play shows. I’d quit a band to move to another town if she got a job opportunity. I’d just find another band. But if she asked me to stop playing shows altogether, I couldn’t. She knows it too, and she wouldn’t ever ask me to anyway.”

Small changes, like hair cuts, small personal appearance up-keep, and staying up on washing the dishes never killed anyone.  However, basely demands to forgo your passions in life certainly could be cause for thought, if not for breaking up entirely.

“I think it [too much change] is the knowing what makes your partner truly happy and actively going against that. If you can’t deal with what makes them happy, then maybe it’s not going to work out,” suggested Wiggam.

Of course, for all the cynics out there, there are some things that do make people happy, things which inherently harm a relationship.  Addictions, cheating and lying may give a person satisfaction.  They’ll also irrevocably damage a relationship. In these cases, asking for change becomes one of those constant battles or perpetual arguments. A necessary one, for sure, but incredibly exhausting.

As Wiggam suggests, however, if you can’t deal with what makes them happy, then the relationship may not be for you. The advice works in reverse as well; if someone asks you to change and the request goes against your image of self, then perhaps moving on would be best. 

Our personality and lives are molded by our environment and the people around us.  Yet, all people need a sense of individuality and personal agency.  Changing who you are and how you see yourself too much will only bring regret.  But, if she asks you to forgo “No Shave November” next year or if he begs you for a break from the month-long “America’s Next Top Model” marathon, consider it. 

Things with the boy have been going pretty smoothly for the past few weeks! You guys finally made it through that awkward phase where you only texted each other when you were drunk, and now you’ve been meeting up for (sober!) study sessions during the week pretty regularly. Waking up to find him sleeping next to you in your bed is not an unusual sight anymore. Your friends have met him, you really like him you’re kind of infatuated with him, the birds are singing outside your window, all that good stuff.

But then one Saturday, you wake up next to him and for some reason feel… icky. And it’s not just because of his humid morning breath that’s blowing directly into your face. There’s this indescribably strong urge to just get him out of your room already so you can carry on with your day. It’s 11:30, your friends are probably all at brunch deciphering the sheer puzzle that was last night. You’re missing out, and you’re pissed off.

But why? A week ago you cuddled in bed with him until 3 in the afternoon and loved every millisecond of it. He has done absolutely nothing wrong, yet now you can’t explain why you suddenly shudder at just the thought of his stupid face.

Does this sound familiar to anyone?

Well, my friend, you’ve got The Disease.

For more, head on over to College Candy.

Picking up a guy in your local bar who likes to be handcuffed blindfolded to the bed for sex challenges even the savviest flirters. Not only do you have to lay out all your sexually-explicit desires, but the chances of getting the guy home and in this position boarders on slim to none. However, finding this type of guy online? A 10-second Google search and your fantasies erupt on your screen; whenever, wherever, and in the privacy of your own home.

College-aged twenty-somethings are the first generation of people to have accessed and used the Web for sex in the capacity that we do. We’re the first people to experience the boom of Internet porn, chat rooms, hook-ups, webcam shows, sexting, fetish Web sites and more. These places do not care about your gender, your sexual preference or your name—only about what gets you off. 

“One’s internet sex life and one’s personal sex life can, and often do, exist as completely separate entities. There’s something about the anonymity of the internet that allows one to approach their sexuality with little- to-no reserves,” said Shane D*, in an interview for College News.

The Internet, in a sense, becomes a sexual haven for those who feel inhibited by judgments of mainstream society, which has attempted to normalize sexual behavior. If a person likes to be tied up and dominated S&M style, he or she can be labeled as a sexual deviant. 

However, looking at these types of sexual practices online is deemed merely exploration. Advancements in technology provide everyone with a computer the chance to actively participating in an online sexual community of their choice, without being worried that the person they were involved with last night is going to end up in 9:00 a.m. biology.

Shane D. explains the appeal of the internet:

“The great thing about the internet is that it has every type of porn that you could imagine and, since literally everyone has access to a camera these days, everybody can be their own porn star. This is wonderful. It allows the voyeur in all of us to peer into what ‘real’ people’s sex lives are like. We can actually relate now. It’s not about this glossy, fake-boobed, super tan, multiple angle, melodramatic screaming, and cheesy funk music anymore. No! There’s single camera set-ups from somebody’s night stand while the TV plays in the background. People aren’t blowing through the Kama Sutra either. Things are real. Simple. It gives me an insight into what my own ‘real’ sex life looks like from an outside perspective, and ultimately it boosts my self confidence.”

While some fantasies and behaviors remain exclusive to the Web, what we see and do online can easily merge into our tangible romps. And this is not necessarily a bad change in the relationship.

“Get your significant other break out the XXX DVD and play your own version of Simon-Says with positions. That has to be more fun than your digital self could ever have,” said Jacob Miller, student.

Both of these perspectives raise essential questions: On the internet, what is real sex? Or what is the sex life of an average person like?  Is it watching porn and then getting down and dirty with their partner? Is it even one partner? Is the average relationship even exclusive?

Defining what is average arbitrarily assumes a sexual norm—one which no longer exists in this modern age. Thanks to things like female empowerment, progressive sexual acceptance, contraceptives, sex is open for all.

Everyone has experienced the type of sex when a girl thinks she needs to moan as loud as possible with every hip movement or the guy who is sure that he can give two girls simultaneous orgasms with the least amount of effort. Blame bad porn—or better yet, blame society for attempting to create a homogenized sexual experience.

If you venture online and experience the wide buffet of sexual desire, the idea that average person always commits to hetero-normative, monogamous, missionary sex on a Friday night dies violently. It doesn’t matter if your internet sex life matches up with your personal one. So search on, play on, and, most importantly, sex on.

*Name changed out of request for privacy.

We’ve all heard the saying that “nice guys finish last,” especially while navigating the dating scene in college.  But we never seem to get a real explanation as to “why,” do we?

It seems like every hot girl on campus is only into the jerk guys who think they’re too cool for school, and all the good guys are stuck scratching their heads. Well, lucky for you, College News knows a thing or two about the female population, so we can give you a little insight as to why good girls seeming love guys who are total jerks.

First of all, jerks go after what they want. 

As my roommate so delicately put it, “girls want the ‘throw down’.” We want to feel wanted, and we want to be chased.  The problem with the typical nice guy is that he’s typically too intimidated to talk to a girl. So it’s a lot harder for us to notice him, or to notice that he’s into us in the first place.

Going off of this notion, jerks tend to be confident.

As I stated in one of my last articles, confidence is sexy. And needless to say, jerks tend to think pretty highly of themselves.  Confidence is attractive because it’s usually reflected in other desirable personality traits, such as charisma or a good sense of humor.  Women like when a guy is secure enough with himself to be able to take care of two people at once. Confident guys also tend to be quite the charmers. Too bad when the turn out to be jerks though.

Jerks aren’t clingy or possessive.

Another reason girls like to date jerks is that jerks aren’t clingy or possessive.  College girls want to have fun and don’t want some desperate guy hanging all over them all of the time.  We also don’t want to be hindered from going out with our friends and living our own lives. Jerks tend to keep their girls at an arms length away, giving them some breathing space. 

Girls like a challenge

Furthermore, girls like the challenge of trying to attract a guy who isn’t obviously into them. It’s not real exciting when we know we can have the guy without even trying.  Dating jerks is alluring because it’s more of a reward when we finally get them to notice us.  It makes us feel good to know that we snagged up a guy that doesn’t fall in love with every girl passing on the street.

Even though these are a few reasons girls love to date jerk guys, I want to make it clear to all of you that not all girls go for the so-called “bad boy.” There are a lot of girls out there who really do want to date genuinely nice guys.  It may just take a little longer for them to get noticed.

I really want to help Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods. After suffering heartbreak of catastrophic capacity, Elin must choose: Should she stay or should she go?

A person arguably cheats because the relationship is surviving on life-support. Choosing to stay in a relationship shattered by a cheating partner requires more from a couple than vowing to move forward and work hard. To recover from infidelity, couple (but mostly the dirty cheater—hear me Woods!) must pledge honesty, selflessness, and follow College News’ guide to mending hearts.

1. Realize that he or she may not forgive you.

Sorry to say it—but coming to terms with this fact early may save you lots of time.  “Someone may say they forgive and trust again, but as soon as a new fight begins the cheating will come up again,” said Brittany Legare, Wyoming college student. The battle between forgiving a partner or not will rage on, but it’s ultimately up to the partner who’s been cheated on to decide.  If forgiveness is not in the cards for you, then get out without any further damage.

2. Confess all your wrongdoings.

Fessing-up to everything you have done may be painful, but having more secrets spill out later will damage any progress you achieved. Your partner deserves to know the truth.

3. Play ball, since it’s not in your court.

When you want something back from someone, you have to work for many months for it. “[Forgiveness] is really hard....I guess the most important thing is to be really patient, because there’s a good chance that it’s going to take a long time,” said Kali Maris, Arizona college student.

In this case, you are working for trust, love, friendship and honesty. To win these back, you have to do whatever your broken-hearted significant other desires. If that means checking in on where you are, what you are doing, or when you will be back, then hey, that’s the game. The ball isn’t in your court, champ.

4. Cease communication to your partner in crime.

Maintaining a relationship with the person you cheated not only leaves loose ends, but raises big question marks as well. Tell that other person you can’t see or talk to them anymore out of respect to your relationship. Cutting ties will make trusting you a little easier.

5. Start over, but never forget

Woo your way back into the relationship the way you did when you first met. Fun dates, romantic moments and good memories should find their way back into your lives. They’ll remind you why the two of you fell in love in the first place. You can start over again, but make sure to never forget the results of bad behavior.

6. Apologize with empathy and honesty

Giving frequent heartfelt apologies mean much more than fifty times a day of “I’m sorry.” Let him or her know how much you appreciate your place in their life, how value their decision, and how seriously you take your second chance.

This entire guide has been focused on the cheater. But what about the innocent partner?

As we’ve stated before, forgiveness does not come easy, even when you really desire to give it. Once you decide to work at the relationship, the cheater is not the only one who must take steps. If the cheater cheats again, kick him or her to the curb. One chance is all they deserve. 

It’s finally happened. You finally met “the one”, and he’s got it all…looks, charisma and even a brain to throw into the mix. There’s only one problem…rumor has it Prince Charming isn’t exactly the “commitment” kind of guy. Now you’re determined to show him what he’s missing. Before you jump to it, though, here are a few tips on how to snatch up a college boy who just can’t seem to commit.

1. Cut the drama

Most college students just want to have fun. We’ve got enough stress on our plates dealing with school, work and pledging their frat. The last thing we – well, guys especially – want is some chick/dude whining to them at the bar when they say ‘hello’ to another girl (or guy). If you’re a lady, then just let him do his thing and chill out. Being natural and enjoying yourself is a great way to show him that being in a relationship with you wouldn’t be a total chore.

2. Be confident in who you are

Guys love girls who love themselves. They don’t want to hear you constantly complain about your various insecurities.  Confidence is sexy, and it’s a big turn off if you don’t have it. Going off of that, make him feel good about himself.  Compliment him when he’s wearing a shirt you like, or tell him how much the gym has been paying off.  College guys try just as hard as girls to look good and they want to date someone who makes them feel like their hard work is being noticed.

3. Listen to him and be supportive of his goals.

This guy has hopes and dreams just like you do, and he’s not going to want to be stuck with someone who’s not going to be his number one fan.  Even if you think his aspirations are a total pipe-dream, try to be encouraging and positive.  Whatever you do, don’t criticize or judge him.  Remember, college guys aren’t going to waste their time with someone who brings them down.

4. But don’t be a pushover

But even though you want to make sure you’re buttering up your guy, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself, particularly when it comes to your sexual boundaries.  It’s okay if you want to take it slow.  Most one night stands don’t turn into relationships, and most guys don’t respect girls who give it up to everyone.  A good guy worth staying with will respect your decisions and will appreciate it more when you decide you’re ready to take the next step.

5. If it doesn’t work out, move on with your life. 

Don’t stalk him when you see him out, or send him thousands of texts. Just hit the road and find a new guy.  The great thing about college is that you’re surrounded by guys and eventually, you’re going to find someone especially made for you, without having to go through the headache of

The fresh trends that have been appearing throughout New York Fashion Week have left us here at College News buzzing. With a majority of us college students preparing for spring break, and the opportunity let loose in warmer climates, there are some clothing pieces you simply must possess.

College News has looked through magazines, fashion blogs, and department stores in order to gather up some of the hottest pieces this season. No matter what you are doing or where you are going, these showstopping items will be great for spring break...or even summer!

Here is a check list of what to consider on your next shopping trip:

1. Khaki

The creamy, neutral tone is back in-style for this season’s must-have basic.  ry purchasing a khaki mini skirt or shorts, cropped pants, or a short-sleeve trench coat.  If you’re not into the complete look yet, try some chunky bangles with snakeskin print or a military inspired handbag. Try adding a little extra flavor with sequin, buttons, and buckles.

Our Store Pick: Old Navy or J. Crew

2. Cropped Pants

These Capri pants have become more popular over the past years, so it’s no surprise that they are making yet another appearance in stores everywhere. The newest cut will be close to the leg and hemmed closer to the ankle than the knee.  However, other styles will be more slouchy with a finished banded hem at the bottom. This style will look great with just about anything which you can wear casual or dressed up.

Our Store Pick: Lulu’s or Forever 21

3. Swing Skirts/Dresses

Get ready to show off your legs and ditch the jeans for a fabulous swing skirt or dress. The style adds a little extra oomph in your step while also adding comfort and versatility. The style comes in so many styles and patterns that you can pair with just about anything. Look for vibrant patterns and colors, and don’t forget floral print, for this spring and summer.

Our Store Pick: Nordstrom or American Eagle

4. Scarves

Scarves add a little extra color to your look, and spices things up easily. It’s no wonder why scarves have been a fashion must-have for the past few seasons.  Look for colors like coral, yellow, lapis, as well as a variety of prints and fabrics. You can even try making your own skinny scarves by cutting a piece of material about 20 inches across and 2 yards long. Pick a material that doesn’t easily fray so no sewing is needed (i.e., light fleece or jersey).

Our Store Pick: Forever 21 or Anthropologie

5. Caged Shoes

The hottest look of the season will be a pair of caged shoes. The crisscrossing straps, whether they are pumps, boots, or flats, provide an intriguing look. Think of this shoe as an upgrade of the gladiator shoes you have worn in the past. Try the shoes in black, tan, and other bold colors to stand out…and the higher the heel, the better.  Also, these shoes are rumored to last through fall—so you can get more bang for your buck.

Our Store Pick: Go Jane or Macy’s

When it comes to your girlfriend or boyfriend, jealousy and possessiveness have their time and place. However, when your best friend makes a joke about your man’s cute smile, or takes your girl out on the dance floor, it is best to keep the green-eyed monster at bay. Letting your partner flirt with your friend may actually make your relationship better.

In interviews of fellow college students on the issue or dealing with flirty friends, most of the answers were confrontational, to say the least.

“Given the fact I can go from zero to overly protective in a nanosecond, my first instinct is to confront the person the minute it happens. However, if you actually like the person, my next option would be to openly make fun of them for doing it....preferably in front of others. If they are smart, they’ll get the hint that it is not acceptable. If not, revert to solution number 1 - after all, if they are hitting on your main squeeze, they can’t be that good of a friend in the first place,” said student Anette Beebe. 

Sure, boundaries exist.  No one is recommending inducing a full-on make-out session with a friend’s beau.  However, relaxing the firmly drawn lines of the relationship has its advantages. 

1. You make your friends jealous

Who doesn’t want to have the most awesome girlfriend out of your guy friends? Take the flirting as a compliment to your good taste.

2. You allow individuality

Just because you have a label doesn’t stop the humanity of either partner. People always want to feel desirable, even if that means it crosses outside the relationship.

3. You show trust

“If I’m in a relationship I already trust the kid and have, or should have, nothing to worry about,” assured Brittany Elliot. 

Letting your partner free to flirt could be nothing but a meaningless fun time. After all, they are coming back to you at the end of the night. 

4. You can test the waters

Of course, there is the other side of the coin. Letting someone mingle amongst the opposite sex can serve as a gauge for how they would behave if you were not around or how seriously they take the relationship. If you disapprove, maybe it is better to know sooner than later.

The bottom line is people will flirt with others, in spite of their level of devotion in the relationship, or even if they are doing it intentionally or not.  If you accept this aspect of life, it is one last thing to worry about.  Flirting is natural; the level of flirtation is where you should gauge your comfortability. If things get too awkward for your liking, tell your friend to simply back off and keep their hands to themselves.

So you screwed up. You totally fell for the hottie in your Chem lab. Then things got hot and heavy pretty quick.  But now all of their cute little habits are starting to drive you insane and you’re thinking it’s time to jump ship. Fair enough. But before you pull the trigger on your romance, here are some dos and don’ts of breaking up.

Rule number one, no matter how convenient it might be for you. DO NOT end your relationship via text message, Facebook wall post, or instant message. Anything you put into writing is going to be forwarded, or copied and pasted, to every one of your ex’s friends.  Not only will you be taking the easiest, most cowardly way out, but everyone is going to know about it.

Which brings me to my next point.  Whether you were seeing this person for a day or a year, BREAK UP WITH THEM IN PERSON.  Don’t have your best friend relay the message and unless you live cross country from each other, don’t do it on the phone either. Breaking up with someone in person shows them that you care enough to go out of your way to talk to them face-to-face and that you’re not a huge coward.

That being said, be careful when choosing a time and place to give them the news. Don’t break up with them on their birthday, or in the middle of a bar. Keep in mind that, even if you two weren’t all that serious, rejection hurts. So try not to be insensitive to his/her feelings and talk to them in private. This way they won’t be embarrassed in front of their friends and you won’t look totally heartless.

Let’s say, though, that you’re a bit hesitant to drop the break-up ax, regardless of the venue. When you finally get down to it, be honest.  It’s okay to let someone know that you’re just not that into them.  At the same time, don’t bust out the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech, because everyone knows that’s never the case. 

You don’t need to be mean, but don’t try to sugarcoat it either. They might not be happy, but they’ll appreciate you giving it to them straight rather than making them wonder what actually went wrong.

Additionally, don’t think your work is done just because you told them it’s over. You need to be careful what you do post-breakup as well.  For example, when your on the rebound. As exciting as it may be to be newly single, try not to make out with your ex’s best friend the next night.  You don’t want to burn any bridges or give your ex a reason to hate you.  You might not remain best friends, but you should at least try to be civil to each other.

Besides…someday soon, you may even want to give it another try.

In a feature for College News, a sex and dating writer will answer a question that comes courtesy of Leftos, a Web site devoted to opening up communication between Men and Women. For the latest question, Juliette tackles this probing question: Help! What should I buy my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day?

Here’s Juliette’s response:

The number one rule in buying a gift for your significant other is to make it personal. Think about what they like to do, i.e., what hobbies are they interested in, what sports do they play, or what music do they listen to.  When you buy something that is personal, it shows that you care and that you are in tune with who he is.

But let’s say that, like most people these days, you and your boyfriend are cash-strapped. If you are worried that he may not get you an expensive gift, then I would recommend playing it low key as well. Burn him a mix of all the songs that remind you of him, make a scrapbook and put in pictures of the two of you (or cards, concert tickets, and any other mementos of your relationship). Even a romantic homemade dinner for two will show that he really means a lot to you. 

However, if you are looking to buy him something then, I would suggest buying tickets to a sporting event, or maybe a concert. This way, you can create a memory and he will always remember going to see his favorite band or team with you, instead of adding another bottle of cologne to his collection. As long your gift is from the heart, you really cannot go wrong. 

Somehow, serial monogamy developed a good reputation. I don’t how, or why, it happened, but it seems everyone started to assume that dating 6 people a year for a couple weeks at a time was superior to merely hooking up with those same 6 different people without a commitment. Once you start looking at the numbers, the superiority of dating deflates. Is serial monogamy really the better way to find love? Or are you just wasting your time?

“There really isn’t much of a difference between serial monogamy and playing the field. The little bit of difference I see is that there isn’t much, if any, romance in serial monogamy. In playing the field, there is a chance of there being more romantic feelings between people,” said Kortney Rocha, 22, from Arizona.

Rocha continues: “Plus, when you are a serial monogamist, most people think that there is something psychologically wrong with them because they have a fear of commitment. They can usually know almost exactly when a relationship will end. Where as when you are playing the field, you won’t know when it will end.”

Rocha hits the nail on the head. Any serial monogamist you know has a pattern of failure. In the case of one of my friends, the story goes like this: boy meets girl, girl is awesome, boy and girl have sex, boy and girl fall in love for a few weeks, boy declares girl as crazy, boy and girl break up. Next!

Sounds like a painful process to me.

According to Aaron Ben-Zeév, President and Professor of Philosophy at the University of Haifa, in his article “In the Name of Love: A Philosopher Looks at Our Deepest Emotions”, serial monogamy requires a compromise from the couple:

“The compromise required in serial monogamy is not merely in giving up the dream of eternal romantic love, but also in relinquishing certainty and living in some sort of make-belief environment. People behave as if their current romantic relationship will last forever, and they really hope it will be so, but they will not be devastated if it does not turn out that way.”

But what if the mutual understanding doesn’t exist and the other partner becomes subject to the wasteful patterns of the serial monogamist? Suffering through someone else’s dating hurdles is not my idea of a fun few weeks, or months even. 

“There can definitely be differences between serial monogamy and playing the field. But, unfortunately, both have similar results. You end up single,” said 19-year-old Theron Doig from Colorado. 

So if you end up single anyway, what’s the difference? 

Functionally, monogamy makes a better case for safe sex, as Stacey Cox, 21, from Wyoming believes. “To me, I believe serial monogamy has more advantages because you know who you are with less likely of contracting an STD. If you do happen to get pregnant you know who the father is and, more likely, the father will be in the child’s life.”

Safe sex is good; Finding someone without a resume of STDs always is a plus. But, avoiding relationships does not always equate to seedy one-night-stands with crazy bar-hoes. The try-before-you-buy (the relationship, that is) method cuts out the heartache, the drama, and another ex you will have to avoid. 

All my “Sex in the City” fans out there know Samantha has just as much fun as Charlotte, if not more, and that she could find meaningful love without the heartache. Staying single and keeping your options open might just be the relationship of the future.

The words below is a guide from Todd Packer, the boorish Outside Sales Representative from TV’s “The Office”—a man who tells off-color, disrespectful jokes (e.g., his vanity plate is “WL HUNG"). The guide was sent around the office as a company newsletter. Though do to his constant pranks, the tips he presented should be taken with a grain of salt.

The newsletter reads:

“Killing time at work? The internet is chock full of fun distractions (see: Yoshi Island off-track betting)—but not all of them are accepted at work, as employees at the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission have found out the hard way. Hilariously, many of them have been caught watching hours of porn on the clock, and are facing suspension and possible termination. (Dude, this actually happened!)

Clearly, they are novices on the subject. I pride myself an expert in this area, having spent an incalculable amount of time on the abovementioned sites and effortlessness covering my tracks (like a wise, eight-degree pervert ninja). So, to that end, I present the office (and more importantly, Michael Scott) the following helpful tips to keep you from getting caught.

First, you can obscure your actions and behavior by changing the position of your computer.

Place the monitor or flat screen so it is only visible to you, so it is not easily seen by passerby, i.e., useful employees. Laptops are the best because they can not only be moved around easily, but their screens can be angled so that only you can see them. As a last resort, you can always obscure the monitor by using the tissues in your workspace to build elaborate forts.

You should also position yourself so that approaching people can be seen first by you—perhaps in a loft or a James Bondian Crowsnest. This gives you a chance to act before they reach your desk without having to mount a sniper, a move which will only arouse suspicion.

Next, there are a few tricks involving the computer and internet browser itself. You should always have other windows open so you can switch to them easily, like a complicated graph or chart or pictures and video of people putting on clothes for no money.

Acting as if you are reading a Wikipedia article will also explain why you are staring so intently (with your palms sweaty and your pants thrown across the room). Blank screens and desktops are not good choices and neither is your pornographic wallpaper. Get an internet browser with tabs so you can keep it all on one window. If you must use company money to buy porn, be sure it’s a small, flat rate, so as to not arouse suspicion.

You can also drag your task bar to either side of the screen to further prevent others from seeing the site that you are looking at. Of course, placing a strip of duct tape over the task bar will have the same effect; you should even feel free to invite people over to gloat about the great tape handiwork you did.

If you want, you can always open up lots of windows so coworkers can only see a number on the taskbar. (You should always assume that your task bar is extremely attention-holding to your coworkers and you should always be in fear of covering your tracks.)

Another helpful trick is pressing Alt+Tab or Apple +Tab which will revert your screen to the last application window you viewed. Be warned, though. Doing it improperly will actually quadruple the porn windows, which may magnify the wailing and moaning exponentially! Luckily, if the volume becomes loud enough, you may be able to pass it off as the sound of a harmless manatee video.

It is also best to only have one window of porn open at a time so you don’t run the risk of inadvertently switching to another porn site! To be safe, use your company’s porn site, in order to avoid a conflict of interest.

Finally, here are a few appearance-related tricks you can use to hid the tell tale signs that you’ve been sneaking peeks at porn.

1. Always keep your legs crossed, even if it means you have to stop taking your daily regimen of Viagra and Cialis.

2. Keep the window closed to keep the room stagnant and stuffy. Then, when your flushed and sweaty appearance is questioned, blame it on the heat and lack of air circulation. For best results, oil yourself up and say you’re in between tanning sessions.

3. Wear a sweater or loose pants in case someone asks you to do something that requires standing up. Make sure that these articles of clothing can do double duty and hold all of your masturbatory paraphernalia.

And last, but not least, save the good stuff to a portable thumb drive so you can have it when you are extremely horny and in a better position to enjoy it. If you find yourself tempted to mate with your computer, maybe you should take a “sick day.”

In a feature for College News, a sex and dating writer will answer a question that comes courtesy of Leftos, a Web site devoted to opening up communication between Men and Women. For the latest question, Mark tackles this probing question: What are the keys to a successful relationship?

In a word? Compromise. Oh, sweet baby Jesus, the word of the day with regard to this question is “compromise.” Don’t want to compromise? Don’t be in a relationship, or be in one that both of you define as casual in nature. Otherwise? If you want to make a relationship long-lasting, then get ready to compromise. Welcome to Grown-upsville, USA. Population: You.

But here’s another word that modifies the first one: Balance. If one partner isn’t giving up as much as the other partner is, then there’s a lack of serious communication. Hey, there’s another one of those relationship watchwords. Do you think that your boy/girlfriend is walking all over you? Then say so, and be prepared to back up your claims with examples. If your partner is worth their weight, they’ll acknowledge their mistakes and strive to do better. If they get huffy and puffy and defensive? DTMFA.

Of course, these steps are easier said than done. But, in my experience, I’ve found that once you do them, they’re surprisingly easy steps to make. Spending too much time together? Plan evenings apart. Still feel trapped? Then say so, and explain why it might be time for you to get out. Despite pressure from national media to do otherwise, you should never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever settle.

Life is too short for compromising your romantic integrity. Otherwise, you’ll get some whiney douche who wants nothing but to relieve the good-old days—or worse, will want to drive a Dodge. Here’s something about the good old days. They’re old. Done. Gone. Save your compromises for someone who deserves them, and will return them in kind. Anything else means that you’re a walking doormat—regardless of your gender.

So, as we’ve all learned, the key to a successful relationship is compromise. However, as the old song goes: “Surrender. But don’t give yourself away.” If you feel like you’re giving up too much, you just might be. But make sure that’s what’s going on by talking to your partner about it.

Relationships might be one of the only things in the world that flourish when you do not focus all your time and energy on them. The concept seems contrary to everything else you’ve read when it comes to sex and dating. But relationships are not like puzzles, where the more time you spend working on solving them the bigger and better the picture becomes. Indeed, allowing for some alone time where you can just be yourself outside of your relationship is surprisingly helpful.

Finding the right balance between connecting with your partner and preserving your autonomy saves a relationship from many of the pitfalls couples typically trip into—especially in a long-term situation. 

“Couples, when spending time together often fail to spend time with their friends,” said Meaghan Nolte, MA in Mental Health Counseling, who works in the University of Wyoming Counseling Education Training Clinic.

“They continue to ignore or neglect the friends they had relationships with before they became a couple.  Because they do not cultivate relationships outside the romantic relationship their support system is reduced and they become increasingly isolated, leading to major problems if there is a fight, or an end to the romantic relationship.”

Nolte notes that there is a difference between healthy and unhealthy connection—elaborating that the latter can negatively impact an individual’s sense of self.

“In a healthy relationship, a lot of times his friends become her friends and vice versa. But interests may shift or change if one member of the couple is really interested [in a topic] and the other is not. They might not do those things as often, and may lose an interest, or a piece of themselves, or a passion they have because the other person does not enjoy it.”

The real issue couples tend to struggle with is maintaining their own sense of individuality outside of being a couple. Being fused into one single entity (think Brangelina) could potentially damage the image a person has of himself. Doing activities separately and staying dedicated to personal interests helps curb the potential for the “unicouple” effect.

Along those lines, Whitney Clark, a nursing student told College News that “One thing that we do not do together is workout. I would rather go and do my own thing than have to have him tag along with me.”

Like Clark suggests, having designated activities that you can always call your own helps in allocating healthy time apart. However, this can be especially hard if you live together. Setting boundaries in seemingly open situations can be an easy, non-confrontational way to say “Hey! I need some space!”

With that conflict in mind, Nolte offers some final words of advice for those struggling to find a balance between their heart and their life.

“Trust your instincts. Trust that it is OK to not want to spend every minute with someone. Gauge where you are as a person. If you feel you are losing yourself [in the relationship], or you can’t get apart, it is probably not healthy that you’re spending time together. If you are being avoided, or feel like you are, then it is not healthy time apart. Monitor yourself and what is going on emotionally and cognitively.”

If all this still sounds confusing, then consider the relationship from another perspective. Spending every minute of your day together will get dull. You will have nothing to share over dinner, no interesting things you learned and limited time to see and connect with other people. Would you want to spend every second of your day with your sister, brother or best friend? Most likely not - they would end up driving you crazy. Spending just a little less time together could make all the difference.

The following is a response to the G.I. Joe PSAs. In effort to scare teens into believing a great number of irresponsible falsehoods, Cobra, a “ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world,” presented an evil FAQ about “safe sex.” This is their sick take on safe sex education.

>>Begin transmission...>>

1. Why have the conversation about condoms?

Cobra Commander: To be fair, they’re important in some ways. Sex is great— but there are risks involved, especially if you do it in a shark tank. Due to God’s Will, there are plenty of things to fear—diseases and such. Though, luckily for men, the chance of them becoming pregnant is quite low.

If you don’t want to end up with babies or a sexually transmitted disease then using a condom, even more than once, is essential. After all, there’s no fun in telling your familiar or parent that you have a STD or are pregnant—claiming Immaculate Conception only works so many times. Remember: sex is truly a terrifying, ulcer-inducing experience.

2.  Would it be doubly-safe wearing two condoms?

CC: No! The clash of the condoms rubbing together would probably cause them both to break or catch on fire. It would also be painful for the person wearing them, as it would probably create a massive rub burn. Additionally, you shouldn’t use the male and female condoms together, as the male and female condoms might actually reproduce.

3. Should I just have my partner sort everything out?

CC: Some people maintain that it’s the man’s job to provide safe sex, while others think protection is up to the woman. Truthfully, women actually have the power to kill sperm with their bodies, but they just want men to do the work for them. But since it takes two to do the nasty, both partners should be prepared. Most lovers aren’t toys, so you need to respect and protect them.

The ultimate show of respect being a barricade around the genitals. Also, having sex in a hot tub does not count as contraception. The chlorine will only bleach the sperm and your child will come out a loveless albino, not unlike Johnny or Edgar Winter.

4. What if neither of us have a condom?

CC: Well, you have better get one! There should be plenty of free ones at your local Middle School. But do not “MacGyver” a condom by using cheese wrapping and wire frame. Eatable contraception, such as the pill, is more effective than a condom is for preventing fertilization (especially if you use the troublesome “Fertility Condom").

But it doesn’t effect your chances of getting an infection. At any event, you may want to scan your body regularly with Norton AntiVirus software.

If you’re the shy type, vending machines are a good alternative to buying them in a store. But make sure they’re condoms and not individually-wrapped Funyuns.

And if you happen to be single, keeping condoms on you at all times takes the pressure off scrounging for one at the last minute. For “safe accesorizing,” the Trojan Fanny Pack is always a nice option!

5.  But will I look “easy” if I have condoms around?

CC: No—it makes you look like you’re mature enough to look after yourself. Even Jesus will be tempted to high five you from Heaven.

If you’re going out for the night, it’s always safe to have a condom on you. By putting one on the table when you help pay for the bill, shows your date you mean business. But don’t keep it in your wallet for an extended period of time, as it may actually damage the condom, spreading decay and rot throughout the contents of your wallet.

Remember: Condoms need to be stored in a cool, dry place, like the birth canal of a woman at Comic-Con. They also have a sell-by date on the packet...so be sure to check the freshness date!

>>...End Transmission>>

Note: This piece just may be satirical in nature

Last night, a friend called me in a panic at 10:30. She went out with a guy, really liked him and still hadn’t heard from him three days later.

“Should I call him?”, she asked.

I spent the next thirty minutes on the phone with her, giving her advice, telling her what I’d do in the situation, helping her regain her sanity. When she was finally at ease, we hung up and I returned to my (then soggy) bowl of cereal and DVR’d episode of “The Bachelor.”

These calls come often. My friends – single and very un-single – are constantly coming to me for relationship advice. I tend to be brutally honest in all aspects of my life (“Yes, I agree, you are being a bitch”) so people trust my opinions and know that I’ll give it to them straight. The only problem is that I am single. So I have to wonder: Why are people coming to me?

To read more, head on over to College Candy.

In my true Carrie Bradshaw wannabe fashion, I cannot explain how much I love shoes. Pumps, boots, flats, sneakers--they are all wonderful in my book. Give me money for groceries and I spend it on shoes like a true woman. You see, I get it from my Mom. Heels clicking on a hardwood floor will forever remind me of my mother.

Sadly, my father just doesn’t get it. I’m convinced that, were it not for his daughter and wife, he would just walk around like Big Foot. And it’s for that reason why I feel like I have the authority to tell you about which men you need to stay away from...based on their shoes. Sounds crazy, but trust me. It works. Let’s get started.

The running shoes guy:

It saddens me that I even have to include this in my article, but some guys are still stuck in 1994 for some reason. Think about it. Running shoes should only be acceptable at the gym or you know, running. If I kept a tally of how many dudes I see with their Nike trainers and a polo on trying to chat up a girl—and succeeding—I would be very depressed. Girls, this guy is most likely a jerk that will tell you to shut up when “the game” is on.

The Birkenstock/Crocs guy:

One word: Granola. This guy is “bohemian” and “interesting” because he grows his own “herbs” and wears lots of man jewelry, right? Well, he is generally a nice person, but how many times can you listen to ambient music before you want to claw your way out of his Subaru?

The checkered Vans guy (Note: must have holes and/or be falling apart):

Not only is this alternative rebel stuck in high school regarding his choice of footwear, but I guarantee he still loves The Chariot or any of those other hardxcore bands that were briefly relevant when everyone was full of angst. Do you like reminiscing about 5th period? Then, this is the guy for you.

The mUggs guy:

Honey, he’s not on your team. Move along.

The Sperry top-siders guy:

Why are you still looking at his feet?! He is most likely a chiseled Ralph Lauren model from Connecticut that may or may not be able to carry on a conversation about anything worthwhile. At least his tanned skin and tousled hair is nice to look at though, right?

The cowboy boots guy:

It’s a miracle you even saw this man due to the fact that he is wearing camouflage paired with his cowboy boots. I know, “Sweet Home Alabama” is a catchy song, but that song and the confederate flag on his pick-up is just overkill. If you like talking about how the government was at its best for the past 8 years, then by all means.

All this being said, I’m obviously playing in to stereotypes and not all men fit these descriptions. What truly matters in a man is his heart and...sole. Sorry, I had to. You understand.

In a feature for College News, a sex and dating writer will answer a question that comes courtesy of Leftos, a Web site devoted to opening up communication between Men and Women. For the latest question, Paige tackles a probing question: Is contacting an old crush via Facebook creepy?

Paige answers

Every Tuesday morning you rolled out of bed, ate leftover pizza for breakfast and scrambled to find any pair of socks on the floor—all to be on time for class. Not to learn about the subject, mind you, but to stare at your college crush instead.

An entire semester went by and you never worked up the nerve to talk to your Communications cutie. What do you do now? Facebook them? Or just hope to run in to them on campus?

We all have our reservations about being a Facebook creep. No one wants to become a stage 5 clinger via the internet, but Facebook is essentially socializing without having to leave your apartment.

My advice? Send that cutie a message.

The one idea to keep in mind in these situations is that you have nothing to lose. What can it hurt to strike up a conversation? You may just find that you two have more in common than your majors.

It’s win/win for both parties involved. If the guy or girl doesn’t feel like there is a connection, then they simply don’t have to respond to the message.

Chances are, they will be glad to hear from you

The two of you can discuss final grades, how the teacher always had lipstick on her teeth, or how absurd that one guy who always fell asleep in class was. There are many options for conversation topics. At the very least, you might become friends.

Do keep in mind, though, that commenting on every picture, poking or “liking” every thing your crush does is a bit overkill. Stick to messaging at first, then when you feel comfortable enough, ask them to a dining hall date. Make it your treat.

All in all, it’s time we embraced the fact that Facebook is the new form of communication for our generation. So log in and contact that crush!

How many of your relationship fights start off with these cringe-worthy words: “What did you say?!”

Call it verbal stumble, call it a Freudian slip—either way, when you mouth starts moving before your brain starts really thinking, you can be in a world of trouble, even with positive intentions. 

But fear not. College News wants to help you out of the dog house—or avoid ending up there in the first place—with this guide on how and when to untangle your tongue.

Advice for women when talking…

About his body

Stumble: “Awww, your little biceps are so cute!!” - said to student Kirk Powers
Fumble: Guys don’t appreciate you calling anything on their body “cute,” whether it is his biceps, his penis or his bellybutton.  They especially don’t appreciate referring to them as little either.
Un-crumble: Quickly conjunction your statement with something complementary of the manly sort.  For example “Your little biceps are so cute…but nothing like your 6-pack!”

After sex

Stumble: “I should really just find someone to knock me up.” - said to student Cameron Maris
Fumble: Discussing pregnancy, or even just the hope of it, immediately after sex will send guys running for the hills. Not is the prospect of getting someone pregnant scary, bringing up the possibility is awkward and just bad form. 
Un-crumble: Saying awkward things after sex is best followed with a hearty laugh, in order to relieve some of the tension.

About his personality/style

Stumble: “You’re not as funny as my friend Brian.” - said to student Jason Wilson.
Fumble: Dissing a guy’s joke skills is bad enough. But saying he is not as funny as one of your guy friends is a bigger burn than ever.  A bruised ego heals the slowest!
Un-crumble: If you are quick, you can add a “…you are funnier!” But, if you are too late, be sure to laugh extra hard at all his future jokes—and hold back from talking about the “Brians” of the world for a while.

Advice for men when talking…

About her body

Stumble: “You’re not fat, you’re just bloated!” - said to student Ashley Lair
Fumble: Yikes! A guy telling a woman that he thinks she looks bloated is just below confirming that she, in fact, looks a little chubby.
Un-crumble: Women will try and trick you into admitting something bad about their body—but don’t succumb to their wiles.  A reassurance of all the her best assets should save you.

After sex
Stumble: “Yup, I’m gay.” [I replied ] So… no cuddling than?” - said to Brittany Elliot
Fumble: Women are just as sensitive about their bedroom aerobic techniques as men are.  A criticism or a confession can be a big blow.
Un-crumble: If you are being truthful about a confession, explain yourself further.  If you are simply critiquing and your review turns out bad, follow up with something like “But I really liked it when you….”

About her personality/style
<
u>Stumble: “I love your sunglasses...they take up half your face.” - Renee Macey
Fumble: Fashion plays a major role for many gals and to critique her choice, even accidentally, damages confidence an accessory or an outfit may give her.
Un-crumble: Backpedal like crazy, or you will never live it down.  Try “Actually…on second glance….”

In a feature for College News, a sex and dating writer will answer a question that comes courtesy of Leftos,a Web site devoted to opening up communication between Men and Women. For the latest question, Paige tackles a probing question: Are guys who are raised with a sister better understanding of women?

Why do some men just get women and their neurotic, emotional ways? Is it because they are close with their mothers or sisters? Or is it more about the man himself?

Naturally, any man that was raised only by a woman is going to have a much better understanding of the female psyche. Not being around men as they grow up leaves the young man to grow closer with his mother and, in some cases, his sister as well. These men grow up learning how to properly handle a woman’s feelings and emotions in a situation, when to know to be quiet, and how to console.

That being said, a man that was raised only by his father could also have these qualities about him. But in most cases, children take after whichever parent or sibling they are close with.

From a younger sister standpoint, I have to say that it gives my older brother an advantage in the dating world to have me around. He can ask me anything about a woman and how she operates for a better understanding of the situation. The fact that we were close growing up also gives him the upper hand because he has seen the range of emotions a woman can go through each day. And on the other hand, this has made me get along better with men typically.

That said, this question cannot be answered without the term “momma’s boy” coming up. Sometimes a mother over-steps her parenting boundaries and spoils her son with whatever he wants. It’s these extreme cases that should raise a few red flags in a woman’s mind. Momma’s boys will always be somewhat dependent on their mothers and this could cause problems for the other woman in his life.

It’s like my mom always said, ‘If you want to know how a man is going to treat you, see how he treats his mother.”

In the end, what is most important to remember is that no matter what kind of sibling/mother relationship the man has, it ultimately comes down to what kind of person he is inside. We are all our own people, only shaped by the environment around us.

Most relationships work on a spectrum basis. You go from acquaintances, to friends to lovers, and, perhaps further along the spectrum, to life partners. Most likely, though, you’ll slide the other direction, that of heartbreaks and break-ups.  At this point, you have the choice to remain friends. But can ex-lovers really ever remain true friends?

Platonic friendships between the sexes are practically utopian. The word “platonic” originates with Plato’s ideals of a relationship, where sexual relationships contaminated the love that two people could feel for one another. Thus, in order to achieve a true level of friendship, human relationships should exist without sex and without the tension of the potential thereof. 

But for many, the post-relationship period is also post-sex. You already know how she looks naked, as well as all her steamy moves. Is it possible to put all of that history in the past and work towards building a relationship with a deeper set of values?

After dating for several years, in and out of relationships ranging from serious to casual, college student Kirsten Vanatta knows a thing or two about heartbreak and its aftermath. 

After a break-up with a past boyfriend, she believes and moving towards the platonic is harder than simply changing your Facebook status.

“Friends, yes. The type of friends that you’ll never get jealous of, NO,” said Vanatta. “You try to be the friend that he can talk about anything with…when the subject of another girl comes along of course you get extremely jealous, but you can’t show anything but support or you risk losing that friendship. After an intimate relationship with someone, it takes a very long time to gain the trust and respect of that person to prove to them you’re not wanting more than friendship. We are talking months maybe years. Once you have gained a great friendship, you don’t want to do anything to lose it.”

Staying friends gives Vanatta hope-—hope that one day, maybe if all the circumstances are right, their friendship will be more. 

“I think of the intimate encounters I’ve had with him, and wish I had that once again. So yes, the sexual tension is still always there. Even when I stay at his house I think I’ll sleep on the couch if I stay that night; but, no, I sleep in the same bed as him. Have you ever slept next to someone you want to hold and have him hold you? It takes a very dedicated and determined sort of friend to not allow their feelings and desires to get the way of the friendship that they have,” recounts Vanatta.

Vanatta seems like a true friend. She is selfless, putting her desires after the good and the health of the friendship. But not everyone can be as easily restrained.

“If it ends on good terms, then sexual tension would be more common, wouldn’t it? Basically you would have a little play pal for when you were single, which isn’t a bad thing in some situations either. It depends on if you can stay away from the emotional side of things,” said Elias Paniagua, who lives and dates in Denver, Colorado. “[To keep it platonic] I just keep them at a distant. [I] only see them when I see them.”

Friendship, in itself, is complicated.  But, to be friends--real friends--with an ex, frustrates even the most well-intended people. Jealousy rears between the ex-couple and even between the new partners for both. The line between joking about the past and revisiting a painful memory thinly divides the then from the now.

Thus, this fragile line must be contoured and cared for to maintain a divide, with real boundaries both parties can never cross. It’s perhaps the only way to cultivate a true friendship.

Brace yourself, ladies: We are now entering break-up season. According to a study released in 2007 by Yahoo, this little span of time between the December holidays and Valentine’s Day happens to be the period when most couples head to Splitsville. (Geez – Is it really that bad to have to buy someone some roses?!).

In order to help you keep your relationship in working order, I’m here to clue you in on 8 surefire ways to KILL that fabulous relationship you’ve got goin’ on. Engage in any of these flame-squelching behaviors and you’ll be ladeling out that Edy’s Slow Churned in front of the TV all by your lonesome come V-Day.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

To read more, go to College Candy.

The advice below was from a Maxim Magazine column that was later recalled, as it was deemed not sexist enough. Much of the material below could be considered parody… because it is.

Studies have proved time and time again that the first impressions men form as a result of someone’s appearance can be surprisingly accurate, illustrating just how important it is in remembering to always LOOK HOT. Considering this often leads people to reexamine the image they are projecting (for example, maybe ladies could project something a little closer to Hooters and Suicide Girls reenacting Star Wars.) Anyway, in an effort to help, we give you the traits men notice immediately and how you can improve upon them (according to the opposite sex).

1. Hair

As men, we have no idea what your hair care entails. Words like split ends or roots will just make us think about Treebeard in battle and that mini-series featuring Geordi. And all that will come of that will be “Roots"-related tears and a tendency to zone out as you talk about your day. In any case, your hair must be two things: silky and fresh smelling. Perhaps like a fruity laundry detergent--not Safeway Select, though. That smells like pumpkin guts and The Y.

Also, taking too much time preparing your hair is just seen as withholding sex from us. And if it’s time to cut your hair, consider a new hair style that somehow suggests awesome sandwich-making abilities.

2. Smile

Ladies, does your smile seem warm and genuine? Well, it better, because a smile can mean many things. It can communicate bemusement, or it can represent an emasculating resentment for our pungent Axe Spray and Axe Odor Remover, causing us to wonder why your overbite threatens us so while the rest of your teeth angrily curse at our mothers as they penetrate and crack our soft eye contacts we got at Trader Joe’s.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get in and out of there to buy more!? Stop it! Let’s review: HAVE A PERFECT SMILE. If you are without a perfect smile, consider Joe Biden dentures. (Looking at him is like gazing at a gentlemanly Cheshire Cat.)

3. Cleavage

Here’s a best-kept secret in the realm of guy-hood: guys like to look at your chest. Often, they will do so for several hours at a time; in fact, chest-looking has been a more desirable profession than any job in the last 900 years, according to men from ages 9 to 90.

Clearly, you should be taking notes and incorporating them into every area of your life. Who’s going to judge you if you unbutton your shirt at funerals? The deceased? They’re not talking!

But seriously, look at employees of cleavage-based professions like Katy Perry. (She’s doing pretty well now). Men will more than likely notice how you’re showing off what you’ve got, but, just in case, bring a special scrapbook as a backup of said cleavage.

As a last resort you might consider garnishing your cleavage with bacon bits… or copies of Modern Warfare 2.

4. Skin

You know that huge blemish you’ve been agonizing over all day? Chances are guys won’t even notice it (after all, they’re still looking at that fantastic cleavage!). What will they notice, however, is an odd tan, especially if you look like an Oompa-Loompa ready to sing about the dangers of children eating chocolate. Be cautious and aware. And if you see a river of chocolate, get the hell away!

Normally, dating television shows hardly mimic real world dating situations. The contestants are all gorgeous and sexy, with perfect bodies and just enough charisma to make for entertaining television and a heart-throbbing hook-up.  But a new show on ABC called “Conveyor Belt of Love” twists the conventional television standards inside out for a realistic ride.

For those who are not familiar with the show, “Conveyor Belt of Love” is pretty much exactly like it sounds. Five women sit in chairs in front of the conveyor belt. Each are looking for their own flavor of love and are equipped with a sign which says “interested” on one side, and “not interested” on the other. To the side of the room are five platforms with the ladies’ names below. 

Then, the men in the show come by one at a time on the conveyor belt and stop for the gals. After that, they have one minute to get them “interested.”

The men can do anything in the minute: talk about themselves, showcase a talent, impressions and so on. If a woman is interested, she will raise her sign.

The women can ask the men questions to finally decide if they want him to go stand on their platform. If two or more women are interested, the man on the conveyor belt chooses whichever girl he desires to settle the feud. At the end of the show, each couple goes on a first date.

A quirky set-up, yes. But illogical? No way. The women looking for love chose and rejected men for a variety of reasons--none of which were as shallow as what one might see on the MTV show with a somewhat similar premise, “Next.”

From watching the show and noticing the trends, guys can benefit from the results in their own dating life. Because after all, navigating the dating scene is really like a conveyor belt.

1. Be Yourself

The women loved guys who were relaxed and obviously genuine. The men who rolled out and talked honestly about who they were, what their interests were, and their lives in general were the most appealing.  Even if the women were not interested in the end, they took time to listen instead of dismissing him after 5 seconds.

2. The Hottest Guy Doesn’t Always Win

Sure, there were plenty of really sexy guys on the belt, but the women ultimately didn’t always choose the hottest man. The personality and morals of the men often were the deciding factor. So personality does count for something.

3. Can the Impressions

Tricks and impressions may be good for parties, but not when you are trying to meet women.  Guys who hiking that lonely route were usually regarded with a “What the hell…?” and instantly dismissed as socially awkward.

4. Everyone Has Their “Type”

If girls know they are looking for a nerd, they are probably not going to go for the football player--no matter if he is interesting or not. Save your time and find someone who is looking for a guy like you. It will be worth it in the end.

5. Chicks Love Guitars

Maybe John Mayer’s nickname as “The Panty Dropper” actually rings true. Most of the guys rolling out with an acoustic love songs had at least 1 of the 5 girls “interested.” Time to learn the opening bars of “Stairway to Heaven"--or “Your Body is a Wonderland.”

In a feature for College News, a sex and dating writer will answer a question that comes courtesy of Leftos,a Web site devoted to opening up communication between Men and Women. For the latest question, Paige tackles a probing question: How fast is too fast?

So you’ve met a guy or girl, you’ve become Facebook friends, you text each other frequently--everything is falling in to place. But who decides what is a good pace for a new relationship?

Older generations will tell us to not kiss on the first date, and definitely don’t have sex until at least three dates. But times have changed. Now we can learn basically everything we need to know about someone just by the internet. (Not in a creepy way, but through Facebook, of course.) So it’s time to set up some guidelines for the i-Generation and their dating habits.

First and foremost, communication is going to be key in making this a lasting relationship. If you can’t talk about how things are moving along or where they are going, then it’s time to re-think the connection.

It’s important to be open with your partner about what you’re feeling and thinking. Do you think it’s time Mr. Gorgeous met your mom? Ask him if he feels comfortable with that. It doesn’t have to be formal or intimidating. A casual coffee meet-up or an impromptu videochat put less pressure on your partner to make the perfect impression. This way, everyone can relax and be themselves.

The issue of when to have sex is completely up to the two people in the relationship. I know several couples that have been together for over a year who met on a one-night stand (or so they thought.) If you’re the type of person that becomes easily attached, maybe sex on the first date isn’t such a great idea. Most importantly, talk with your partner about their history and make sure they’ve been tested.

If you’re spending a lot of time together, and are moving the relationship forward, the question of “the future” will inevitably come up. Do we want to move in together? Maybe adopt a pet? These are things that vary from couple to couple. Say you started out as just friends and then decided to date. Then you will most likely be more comfortable living together sooner. It’s all up to the two people and how they handle relationships.

If you think the relationship is moving too quickly, speak up. It’s better to get it out in the open and agree on a pace for the relationship from the beginning, rather than have pent up anxiety over the issue. If you disagree on an issue, remember to be patient with your partner and give them time to come around to the idea. If you want to be together, an agreement can be reached. Like I said, communication is key.

A few weeks ago, I was set up with a boy. We chatted for a bit, made some small talk. He was sarcastically funny and he was tall, and in my book, those two things will warrant a first date. (Let’s face it – Jewish boys are usually not tall, and even less so if you buzz down that J-fro.)

So he got my number and told me he would call. He waited 3 days. Annoying, but expected.

I was at work when TFB (Tall Funny Boy) called. And being the world’s worst phone person that I am, I didn’t call him back right away. Work got crazy and before I knew it two days had passed and I still had not called the boy back. Rude? A bit. But also a total honest mistake. I made a mental note to call him that night and carried on with my day.

But here’s the kicker: as I was leaving work, I noticed a missed call on my phone and a voicemail message in my inbox.

Why does it seem like guys get handed all the control in the relationship and we’re just sorta along for the ride?

To read more, head over to College Candy.