Welcome back, kids! In yesterday’s episode, we started talking about casual sex: Why have it? Is it for you? Is it safe or practical? We all know that sometimes guys just want sex, while other times they want more. Many women are they same way. They may not necessarily know how to articulate that they want to have sex sans fidelity, or how to make it happen simply and drama-free without getting hurt, so that’s what I’m here to talk about. Without further ado, here’s the exciting conclusion:

Honesty is Your Best Policy
If you want to sleep with a guy you just met and don’t intend to see again, fine. Tell him where you stand. If you want to sleep with a good friend or acquaintance, but not actually date them, say so. Perhaps you enjoy dating and sleeping with a person, but know you won’t want to be monogamous. Be clear and upfront about it.

Say you’ve never slept with a woman and are curious, but wouldn’t actually want to date her. Let her know! Being honest and open about your intentions early on will save a lot of grief later. If you’re schtupping this person, you should be able to talk to them! It might hurt them at first if they want something deeper than you, but it stings a hell of a lot more if you lead them on before letting them know you’re not interested.

If you’re considering doing the horizontal mambo with someone, a basic “Hey, is there anything I should know?” is a smart move. This is the time for something like, “Yeah, I have herpes,” “Well, I had unprotected sex recently and haven’t been tested,” or “I fall desperately in love with everyone I sleep with.” It is not the time for “My dick’s name is Billy Bob,” “I had an abortion when I was sixteen,” “I’ve slept with fourteen people,” or “My ex and I …” Don’t talk about your ex. No one wants to hear it. Oy vey.

You Don’t Own Me
So, how can you enjoy casual sex without getting attached or letting people get too stuck on you? You may or may not be seeing other people, they may or may not be seeing other people … that’s it! You don’t hear about it, you don’t see it, you never have to think about it! Why would you want to? Worrying about that stuff sucks ass. When you’re with a person, you can be present with them and fully enjoy the moment. When you’re not with them, you needn’t wonder what they’re doing. Who cares? Even if you don’t perceive this to be an issue for yourself, it is for a lot of people, so your best bet is usually sticking with this tactic.

He Won’t Buy the Cow if He Gets the Milk for Free
Well, maybe she doesn’t want to be bought! Who’s calling her a cow anyways? Hey, maybe she just likes him sucking on her udder! Cows have feelings, too. And milk is tasty! The more, the better! If you do buy the cow, you can be the only one who gets to suck her sweet nectar. But why buy the cow when you can have a dairy farm? Drink up, kids. It does a body good.

Sex in the Small Town
Watch out. Everyone knows each other through someone else. Make smart decisions when choosing your partners. Though your sex life isn’t anyone’s business, people do like to talk and who wants to get caught in a web of gossip? The best way to keep it clean and simple is to NEVER, EVER FOOL AROUND WITH SOMEONE WHO IS IN A RELATIONSHIP! It’s a terrible, horrible, awful idea and will only lead to mucho drama. If there is deception afoot, throw your pants back on and head for the hills. Blue balls (or ovaries) now are totally worth avoiding weeks of bullshit later.

Your sex life is in your hands, ladies. Do with it what you will. If you’re more comfortable having sex only when you’re in a relationship, that is just fine. Just promise me you’ll masturbate every now n’ then. If you do feel you’d enjoy sex outside of monogamy, I hope you’ll keep in mind what I’ve said. There’s a whole world between one-night stands and monogamy. Explore new terrain. Learn what works and what does not. Polyamory doesn’t have to be a lifestyle choice. Perhaps you’ll just dabble until the right one comes along. Personally, I believe that if more girls slept with each other, the world would be a happier place. Maybe give it a try, eh?