I think that we like texting for the same reasons we like sex. It provides a sense of instant gratification, it can come in handy when you want to avoid talking, and it is another fantastic avenue to express how you feel about your partner. However, while only a fortuitous segment of the population is having sex multiple times a day, I would bet that everyone is texting.
Our cell phones have become like vital organs, so it’s no wonder that these constant companions have now impacted the way we date. A January 2008 study from the Pew Internet & American Life Project showed that 70% of couples texted each other each day just to say hello. In May, 2008, AT&T researched texting and relationships even further and interviewed 1,000 cell phone users. Their results go to the heart of this phenomenon.
40% of texters who were in a relationship or dating indicated that text messaging plays a significant or very significant role in their relationship. As many as 67% have flirted via text and 68% have sent a “love note” via text. Sandra Barron of The New York Times says that texts from a crush can “have the giddy re-readability of a note left on a pillow.” Likewise, I can see how late-night text marathons are the equivalent of what used to be talking to your boyfriend on the phone until one of you fell asleep.
Of the sample texts At&T supplied, half chose “thinking of you” as the text they would most like to receive from a significant other. Being too slow to respond to a text was the most common annoyance, and we seem to be well aware of that because 82% would respond immediately or as soon as possible to a text from a romantic interest.
Texting at the beginning of a relationship seems to be important. A little over a third say they would feel more comfortable about a first date if they texted first. One quarter have used text messaging to update friends and family while on a blind date.
One of the more unusual questions answered showed that almost one-third have used a text message to “warn their partner of something embarrassing that they might not be aware of.” I would love to see those texts! “Don’t panic, but ur dress is tucked into ur underwear.”
The survey didn’t cover instances when a romantic text gets sent to the wrong person, but AT&T did post a series of “textimonials” in which Sara from New Jersey shares, “I was at work the other morning and got this text from my boss…it said I was walking by the waterfront and thought of you, I love you baby!” Needless to say, Sara was confused until she found out he had meant to send it to his girlfriend! I have a theory that we are slowly adapting to even this text trend. Romantic messages received in error are becoming more recognizable and easily forgivable.
The survey showed that texting still plays an important part in long-distance relationships, but regular phone calls are still the primary form of communication amongst long-distance couples.
Only 5% have ever broken up with someone by texting, which is reassuring to me since I actually have friend who was broken up with via postcard. Her boyfriend sent it to her while away on a Geology field trip a la Jack Berger’s Post-it (you SATC fans know what I am talking about). I am so proud that we are refraining from the break-up text!
You can see the full report at AT&T, along with some great videos covering topics like, “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Texts,” and “How to use Your Cell Phone as a Wingman.”
Links:
Part 1: Texting and dating - the good, the bad, and the ugly
Part 2: Texting and dating - the good, the bad, and the ugly
Part 3: Texting and dating - the good, the bad, and the ugly
